Mamau - you give me hope - in addition to the occasional bouts of quirky behavior, she also screams everytime her younger sister or others (anyone besides herself) make a loud noise. SHe says "I do not like loud noises." I had not been dealing with that too much, as there were so many other issues we had to work through. I have been working on the screaming for awhile and although getting better, still room for improvement. It does take these adhders a while to catch on.....
May I just say that I have had many sit downs with my son and pointed out to him that his behavior does not win him friends but loses them. NOONE likes to be screamed at, told what to do, be bossed around. Noone likes to play with someone who always wants to be first, who is a poor sport. I have told him this time and time again and he knows the info but he cannot apply it. When he finds out that there have been b-day parties he was not invited to, he gets his feelings hurt. I almost think I have hurt him by shielding him so much. I have let him know that I will always be there for him and while I might get angry with him, I will always love him.This might sound like a lot of work, but have you ever thought about asking your dd if you or one of her friends video tapes her when she acts this way. Later she can watch it on TV and see how she appears in public.This happens to Will also. His teacher tells me that sometimes the whole class will tell him to be quiet and stop making noises. That breaks my heart, but he doesn't seem to "get it".
My daughter recently began making noises and will get in other kids faces and it is killing me inside to watch. She is also 8 and is regressing acting like she did when she was 3-4I sometimes wonder if people realize how unusual the behaviors can be of children with ADHD . When I told my friend about the quirky behaviors - she said that all children that age do strange things. I don't think a lot of people realize that with ADHD, these kids can take behaviors to the nth degree and then some!
I have thought about having a "sit down" with my dd and pointing out that because of the ADHD, she may not realize that some of her behaviors are inappropriate and will also have a hard time learning this, but that I want to help her. I have even thought of signals to use to help her when friends are around. One to signal "that's inappropriate and you need to stop" and one that signals she is doing a good job.
I like the idea about asking her whether or not her friends tink that behavior is funny - although I am disappointed that the one behavior the friends do think is funny is when she slaps herself on the behind. grrr
my 5 year old has friends that do that and everyone laughs.............even more inappropriate at 5! That one I wouldnt worry too much about, it's very slapstick and I dont think will set her apart. Goofy is ok, just like you said, they sometimes dont know the difference. Cues are great idea! We do it all the time................
Same thing here with the noises.....
My gdd has been doing it since she was in pre
K..... age 4.........In first grade it was awful with all the notes from teacher about
the animal sounds she would make.....Finally I started to tell her everytime she
did it *THAT is not nice ....please quit it.....* You'll get in trouble in school...
I repeated it everytime I heard ......you doing it please quit it.....Second grade
was better.....now
third grade I haven't heard from her
teachers about this....and at home she seldoms does it anymore.....I quess just
correcting her everytime.....she got tired of me reminding her that it wasn't
a nice thing to do.
It's been awhile since I posted. My 8 yr old dd has been doing pretty good, the only issue I am challenged with figuring out how to handle is quirky behavior. I know a lot of children who have adhd have this tendency, but as my dd is getting older, I notice the more and more, strange looks given to her by friends when she begins to act this way.
When nervous and/or seeking attention, she starts talking or singing in a high-pitched screech, doing this snorting kind of laugh, meanwhile moving by floppping her body everywhere and slapping her feet hard on the ground as she walks. If she was not 8, you would think she was drunk. There are also other "acts" that get her strange looks from the few friends she has and, I must admit, drives me crazy.
Recently, I mentioned to a friend that I had talked to dd about her dancing (in addition to butt-slapping, it looks as if she has stuck her finger in a light socket) and got her to calm that down by showing her how to feel the beat of the music and move to it, and my friend was taken aback that I had done this. She seemed to think it would hurt her self-esteem.
I know her self-esteem is fragile, so try to do this lovingly and am careful not to hurt her feelings. But am concerned because she doesn't get the social cues that friends are sending to her. I guess my thoughts are better for mom to do it lovingly rather than for her to be laughed at and/or shunned by her peers.
Any advice?
By the way, I did enroll her in an acting class only to have the poor dear get consumed with stage fright the night of the performance. She just stood on the stage with her hair hanging down to cover her face, while her performance partner was trying toc oax her throughout the performace. Thank goodness the partner and director were understanding of her!
I think you are doing the right thing. Our kids do not pick up on social cues and the older they get the harder this is for them. Our job is paretns is to help guide our kids. I am constantly helping my daughter. She also does all kinds of things that are not aporpriate. It's getting better as she gets older, but IMO it's one of those things they just need help with. Obviously you dont want to "squash her personality", I dont think that is what you're saying, but for us, if my daughter is making strange noises thinking she's funny, we have started to tell her it's not. We talk about it and I ask her if this is how her friends all act (not all the OTHER kids, her friends) and if she says yes, well then go for it, but if not, then think about what you're doing and how otheres see it and decide if you think it's appropriate.I think you are doing the right thing for her self-esteem. NoTellin39449.3983101852