does your kid ALWAYS need your attention? | ADHD Information

Yes, he is on the Daytrana patch for ADHD and we increased the dose last month so I'm wondering if it is that. Thanks for responding. It feels kind of good to know there are other mom's out there dealing with these issues. He's such a great kid, sometimes I wonder, what else can go wrong for him, but I know that's just my "poor me" attitude coming through. How old is your child and how are they doing?

Hi, I'm new to this site but I can relate to a child who needs to have someone with him and paying attention to him at all times. My son is now 11, almost 12 and has matured out of some of the "pay attention to me" behaviors but also developed his verbal skills and now makes people pay attention to him because his is always talking, loudly. As he gets older, we discuss these issues but he seems powerless most of the time to control his need for attention. I have a question. Just in the last two days, I've noticed a facial tic of sorts, mouth twitch, eye blink that has never been there before. He says he can feel what I'm talking about but can't really control it. He is the hight anxiety, nervous type, but I've never seen him do this before. It would surprise me if he's feeling increased anxiety right now as we are on school vacation, pretty much doing whatever the kids feel like doing each day. Anyway, I'm wondering if this will go away in a day or two on it's own or should I be worried?I'd wait it out, it is sounds like a tic though. Even if it is, I wouldnt worry too much. IS he on medication?

My son, now 22 yrs, still happily lives at home. When he was about 3 I told everyone this is my child that will never leave home. He just liked being with us too much! LOL! He was always afraid he was going to miss something. He always has to be going somewhere, have friends over or doing something. Oh, did I mention he's ADHD!

He get's that from his dad - call them "social butterflies," they always have their "entourage" with them. Quiet time to them is thinking about what they're going to do next.

Now my oldest(29 ADD) is more like me. He's lived alone for the last 7 yrs and doesn't have to be accompanied to enjoy himself.

my son (almost 8) has adhd, anxiety, and depression. was diagnosed 1/2 year ago and we have wiped out on all meds so far. he gets 100mg of zoloft a day to help his anxiety and depression. it has helped a lot. he doesn't go into rages hardly anymore. he would self mutilate when he was stressed or emotionally hurt and doesn't do that now as much either. for his adhd we have tried focalin and vyvanse with the side effect of his depression worsening. now we're on straterra. only on week 3. my son ALWAYS has to have either me or my husband paying attention to him or playing with him. if he plays video games he wants us to either watch or play too. if he colors he wants us to sit with him and watch. if he goes to the kitchen for a snack he wants us to come too. we have tried encouraging friendships with kids his age but he never "clicks" with them. he doesn't seem interested at all in playing with kids. he thinks we are his playmates. we can't get anything done around here because he constantly whines that we don't pay any attention to him (and its quite the opposite). if we tell him we have things to do and that we love him and will spend time together later he gets depressed and introverts himself, often moping on the couch looking like his pet got lost.

anyone deal with similar situations???

Can't say that I have.............I wonder if he has a fear of abandoment for some reason? Maybe something that has happened in his life that was traumatic? I don't know.........On one hand, I am wondering if for some reason he needs this and if it will go away as he becomes more secure in your love for him.....on the other hand, this isn't typical 8 year old behavior.

Reminds me of parents who are pro-having their infants-preschoolers sleeping with them as opposed to parents who are con-having their infants-preschoolers sleeping with them. There are strong arguments both sides.

One of my infants/toddlers acted this way and then I had child number 3! I think he was seriously traumatized. Now that he is older, he likes to "hang around" quite a bit. I remind myself that he is "making up for lost time" that he was ripped out of as a baby. It actually seems to be helping him....me giving him the extra attention. Thing is, he doesn't need it a fraction of what yours does.

twirly1

No, dd doesn't need constant attnetion. She is happy to be left alone to watch TV, play games, or whatever.

My son has ALWAYS demanded all of my time. Whether it be to play with him, keep him out of trouble or whatever is left after that. ;)

When I had my second son I actually had to take my son to daycare because I could not handle such a demanding child plus care for an infant. Not to mention that I did have safety concerns as well. MY ADHD son was almost three and If I took my attention off him he would be going through my cabinets or throwing stuff at me and his infant brother. I couldn't leave them in the same room together...not even to go to the bathroom. Talk about feeling like a failure. I was a SAHM at the time, too and I took a lot of crtitism for sending my ADHD son to daycare. Family and friends didn't believe I couldn't manage two kids. Of course, he wasn't diagnosed with ADHD just yet, but he would be within the year.

The good news is the infant is now 5 and they get along well together. They are hell on wheels actually. But, yes, my ADHD son demands all of my time. And whne he isn't his non-ADHD brother is. They just have a deeper need to be around people or to be occupied at all times I guess.

my oldest daughter (ADHD) does always want to be around SOME ONE. Us, her sister, a friend, whoever. Same things "watch me play this video game or watch this show with me", whatever..............my youngest (5) is not like this, she is very happy to play by herself if no one wants to do what she wants to do........Your son and mine are twins! So, yes! You have someone to relate to...ME!

(Even as I write this my son is wanting my attention.)

Here's what I think about it...

1. My son's an only child. Therfore he gets bored easy and depends on my wife and I to keep him busy doing things by himself.
2. I think my son's ADHD causes his brain to need constant attention. He always needs to be doing something, even when he's on meds.
3. My son is 8 yrs old, therefore he's still learning how to create ways to entertain himself. Because of his ADHD, he's not mature enough to plan his day. He even has trouble deciding what to eat.

STRAGEGY - My wife is better with our son than I am, so I give her all the credit. She plans our son's day out very well. She has many craft ideas and little boy projects to keep him busy. And since she's a stay at home mom, she has more time than some parents to be with him. Creative, intentional strategies is the key to your solution. You need to plan activities for him (to do alone) so he doesn't get bored and bug you all the time.

REWARDS - Our son gets to do things when he spends time by himself. We require him to read alone for a certain amount of time each day. He also needs to work on interesting projects and games by himself to earn his rewards.

REALITY - My wife and I try to be realistic. First, our son is 8 yrs old. So, he has a right to require our time and attention. Secondly, there will come a day when our son will not want anything to do with us. And, that day is coming soon! So, we enjoy the time we have with him right now.

TEAM SPIRIT - There was a time when I thought it was my job, or my wife's job to plan our daily activities. But as our son gets older, we discovered that he wants to be included in the decision of what we do. We now give our son a lot of power in the decision making process in planning our day. Take for instance, if we need to go to the doctor, we also ask him what he'd like to do while we're out. It is not unusual to go to the doctor and also stop by the park for an hour. He likes it when he gets a "say so". This gives him an opportunity to let us know that family time is his "love language".

Please let me know if Strattera helps with his anxiety. We swiched our son to Strat last July and it has done wonders for him. Also, please check out my blog - I just wrote a new article about our ADHD experience. Feel free to email me at www.photographer413@hotmail.com

Happy New Year!

Dad in Akron39445.5274768519

My granddaughter is finally doing things by herself....like watching tv or playing

her gameboy......nothing before would hold her attention for very long. This

is all due to the medication. Before she would read one page in book and put

it down. Or watch 5 minutes of tv and stop....now she will do so much more....

it is amazing.

She never wanted us to play with her or show her any affection at all....she would

push us away....now she will cuddle up to us and will let us give her a hug....

Also she is asking for her cousins to come and play with her .....which is a very

good sign....that things are improving.

My child always wants me to play with her which I do not mind however I avoid a lot due to once I do it is never ending and her demanding of my playing with her worsens. She needs to play by herself. In this case yes here too.

Hey Dad,

I wish my husband felt or expressed his feelings the way you just did. I think you are an awesome dad!

No, my son does not need constant attention. He plays alone well.

My son plays well alone. He does like to be in the same room as us, and we are working on his playing alone in his room sometimes. but then I think, soon enough as a teenager he will ALWAYS be in his room!! LOL

He will play for hours with his legos. That is something he really enjoys. We do like to include him in our weekend plans and he does get to pick where we eat sometimes. I think some kids just are more needy than others. Not sure its an ADHD thing. A close friends daughter is not ADHD and is 5 and wants her moms attention ALL THE TIME. She is an only child so I think that makes a difference too.

Dad in Akron has some awesome ideas!!