A couple of things. Seriously, forget about puberty and graduation right now .
Now I had my daughter repeat Kindergarten and am all for doing 2 years of Kindergarten when needed. To me, it doesnt sound like your son needs two years of Kindergarten. He is fine. He's not going to stop acting the way he acts on playdates by doing another year in Kindergarten. I would, however, push the playdates and push them hard. One on one, your playdate. Continue to have kids over, but have the playdate fairly structred. Like so much time for a game, so much time for a craft, so much time for a snack. Dont leave them to figure it out. Some of these kids CAN'T do that yet. If he does better out of the house, do them out of the house, just keep working at it. Have him pick the friend to invite when possible. Have him do the asking when possible. Stay close at hand and guide him socially. You cant teach him with you how to behave with another 6 year old boy, you need another 6 year old boy.
About the repeating - I'd recommend against it if your son has the academics down. The reason I say that is kids with ADD crave new experiences. If he's doing the same stuff he's going to get bored and act out in class. For my son one of the motivations the school is giving him is the opportunity to attend an enrichment math class if he follows all the school rules and does his work. I find when my son is either frustrated or bored with his classwork he's less in control of himself. So I'd talk to the teacher to make sure that he has learned everything he needs to, and send him on to first grade.
I would not hold him back. Just giving him another year isn't going to do much. There's a lot to say for being bored in the classroom; nothing good can come from it. The behaviors you describe are pretty typical. I'd just follow the recommendations above regarding the playdates. You might want to start with parks first since he'd have more success in that environment. His behavior is worst at home because he is very excitable and can hardly contain himself. Social story books might help.I'm a mother of a recently turned 6 year old (December) and he too is in kinder. He does quite well with academics as you mention your child does. I am also a teacher and have been for over 22 years. I don't think I would hold back a child if he gets along well enough with his peers and is doing well in school academically. In our case we make sure our son is in sports and other outside activities to keep him around other children. He doesn't necessarily have close friends now, but I feel that with time this will change. Oh, and we also use play therapy and this works wonders. 4myson39459.3436458333I think the meds will help with the social skills and there are classes for that. Some psychologists have them. Practice taking turns with him and if he is an only child make him share with you. Try to find another fast kid for him to play with. If you want to invite someone for a play date ask the teacher for a good match. She can pass a note to the mom for you. Or if she wont put one in the other kids cubby. Try to get the other mom to stay around too. I agree with both the above. My oldest son repeated kindergarten and it was a mistake. Your son's social issues are not going to come right with another year of K. They may well however come right in first grade ("now I'm a big boy, I must act like one", etc.) Just try to organise a lot of play dates and supervise them.Maybe out of school activities at the community center will help develop play skills. My boyfriends 10 year old acts up and say when we are inline at a store and his is climbing all over the bars like at walmart I stop him and ask him to look around at the other kids and say " are those kids behaving and doing like you right now"? I am not an expert by far. He is 10 and still climbs all over the furniture and doing flips and such. Maybe try enrolling him in gymnastics.
I would not hold him back. Children with ADHD tend to have problems with slower developing social skills. My son(6) is slower in social skills so much so that at times his soon to be 5 year old brother seems more mature. I have my older son in Soccer and Scouts to help with his social skills. I wouldn't hold him back, either. He sounds like my ds at that age. Mine is 14 now and still has issues. He did better the brief period that he was on meds this past fall. I will always wonder what his childhood would have been like had I put him on them sooner. I agree that he might like an outside activity that is nothing like school--gymnastics, for example. It seems harder these days for kids to make playdate sort of friends. Everyone is busy, suspicious of each other, etc. and kids just don't get together like when I was a kid. My kids don't even get together with their real friends all that much!I wouldn't hold him back either. I agree that holding him back isn't going to change his social behavior.
When I was in kindergarten, I was the same way. I was very smart but lacked good social skills. Frankly, I was caught up in my own world of imagination and thoughts that I really didn't WANT friends. I, too, would play in the corner. I liked it there. It was quiet and there were very little distractions. I think my parents thought of holding me back, but didn't. Putting someone intellectually advanced in a lower grade level would be torture! Could you imagine his boredom? He would probably act worse!
Not to freak you out, but be aware of Asperger's. They often lack social skills and cannot pick up on social cues. Take that with a VERY LITTLE grain of salt....
twirly1
My son repeated kindergarten, remaining at the same school, although with a new teacher in a new classroom. It was called senior kindergarten. He needed to do this, but it really stank. He realized that everyone else was moving up, and he was not. It was a small private school that did not have resources to really handle him. We ended up moving to a new city and he began first grade at a different school, which was wonderful b/c no one knew about the repeat (except the faculty). Would I do it again? Yes, even though it was hard for him. He needed the time to grow socially and academically. He has a summer birthday. Now he will no longer be the youngest kid in his class and when he starts high school and college, he will be one of the oldest. There are mixed feelings on this. In retrospect, I should have been the one to register him for kindergarten at 6 instead of 5. He is now in 2nd grade and still lags behind in some social issues but overall doing well. Talk to your doctors, they reallyhelped me make the decision. Plus his school clearly told me that he was NOT ready for first grade. A deciding factor is the opinion that kids should not repeat a grade after reaching 4th grade, it has been shown to be detrimental on several levels. I felt like this was my one shot to even out the playing field. I agree that holding him back could create further problems. My son still has no social skills and playdates are very hard to get. He has never had a close relationship with a friend and that scares me, but I don't think it's related to his grade in school. Play dates are important, but make sure the other kid is a fit.