REALLY INTENSE TANTRUMS! HELP! | ADHD Information

Have you tried play therapy with him? We found this to help us tremendously and our son was almost 4 when we started meds and diet with him.

Another thought would be to check into some other things...such as have him tested for hypoglycemia. We learned that our son had hypoglycemia and this can contribute to irritability/poor behaviors. Our doctor that handled the ad/hd asked us to have him tested for this. It involves a 6 hour glucose tolerance test. Once we learned that we had this to deal with then we met with a nutritionist recommended by our doctor. We made some simple diet changes. More protein and less carbs.

Sometimes it takes more than med to help these children as I have persoanlly discovered. We use med, therapy, and some diet changes and have seen some tremendous gains. I'm not saying we live the perfect and non ad/hd life now, but I am saying I've seen some positive growth overall, and our son is 6 now.

I also have found that going to a counselor is also beneficial for me as it helps me deal with my frustrations and helps me to have a better perspective with the whole picture.

Take care!

I also wanted to recommend play therapy. My son was throwing insane tantrums at this age too, and I'm not sure where we'd be now if not for his play therapist.

The most effective way I found to deal with my son when he was raging was to put him in his room. Yes there were all sorts of difficulties keeping him there- the therapist and ped. both recommended a lock on the outside, though we didn't really have to use it- just knowing the possibility was there was enough to keep him in. I would leave him in his room until he quieted- sometimes he would calm down entirely on his own, but most of the time I went in when he was mostly calm and rubbed his back or held him. I had to be careful though, because if I went in too soon he'd get more upset. These "episodes" would last anywhere from 20 min. to 2 hours, at one point several times a day.

The therapist really helped him with his feelings of frustration, which was where a lot of the tantrums were coming from. She also helped us understand his view of the world, his sensory processing issues, and helped us develop some strategies to help him (and us) cope.

Sounds like the wrong med or the wrong diagnosis. It is extremely difficult to diagnose a 3 1/2 year old accurately. This is why the American Academy of Pediatrics states on their website that they do not recommend diagnosiing children with ADHD until age 6. Sometimes when the med does not work it means the diagnosis is wrong. What type of doctor diagnosed, and what type of doctor is managing the meds?

Dexadrine is a stimulant. At 3 1/2 years old, i'm not sure how important focus would be, which is what stimulants are best for. Why not target the hyperactivity and impulse, since those are the core issues that you describe as interferring with his life -- not lack of focus. You might want to ask about Tenex instead. It seems safer and more appropriate IMHO. Tenex targets the oppositional behavior as well.

[QUOTE=CrazyMadsMom]

Maddox's tantrums are getting MUCH more intense and I'm not sure how to deal with it. (He's 3-1/2, diagnosed ADHD) They are always over something stupid. Yesterday it was because he wanted to see the pool at the gym, but it was closed. Today it was because I accidentally pushed the play button on the VCR instead of him. Earlier today it was because he wanted to play with a ball at my other son's basketball game, but it wasn't our ball.

When he gets like this there is absolutely no reasoning with him. He's a big jumble of flailing arms and legs and LOADS of screaming. He tried to throw the TV at me during the VCR incident. He's getting SOOOO strong. So I put him on my lap, facing out and try to calmly talk to him while holding his arms so he doesn't hit or scratch me. I try to get him to take a deep breath or to look me in the eye, but he just keeps screaming and doesn't respond. He was there for almost 20 minutes this afternoon - and he WAS medicated at the time.

Once it's over, he always goes back to being really sweet and gives hugs and kisses and apologizes. If you remind him what it was all about, sometimes he'll just start over. This has to stop.

Does anybody have ANY recommendations? He's on 2.5mg Dexadrine at 8:30 and again at 12:30. Do we need a higher dosage? Different medication? Any other tactics for dealing with him during these tirades? I don't know what to do if he gets any stronger. The kid is only 31 pounds, but seems to have the strength of ten men!

Please help!

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I would stop the meds, and contact his Psych. It sounds like there may be something else going on...or not ADHD at all.

Once it's over, he always goes back to being really sweet and gives hugs and kisses and apologizes. If you remind him what it was all about, sometimes he'll just start over. This has to stop.

Please help!

boy this is tough. 3 1/2 is such a HARD age typically, add his ADHD to it and his frustration level must be out of control.

My only advise is what you are doing. Calming him when he does this, but letting him calm himself. You just be sure he is safe. Same old thing, try to avoid engaging him, he needs to learn he wont get any attention when behaving this way. Ideally you can have him be "somewhere" alone until he can be calm. I do understand some children are out of control and cannot be left alone, but if you HAVE to be in the room, dont talk. Holding him is great, he probably needs you, but try to not even talk. He is really still just a baby, poor kid. It would probably be a good idea to talk to the doctor. Do you feel his tantrums are worse since meds? He may need a med change. You may be sort of limited at this age though.

I already e-mailed the doctor exactly what I posted here, so I probably won't hear back until Monday. I can't decide if the tantrums are getting worse since the meds, since they've ALWAYS been a HUGE part of his life. They seemed to be escalating just before we started the meds, and for the first few weeks on medication, they virtually disappeared (Of course, it was the holidays, we were traveling, not in our routine...). Now it seems they're back with a vengence.

I'd love to leave him alone somewhere, but he DESTROYS everything in his path. Like I said, he tried to throw a TV at me! I'll keep holding him like I am, but there is not enough wine in my budget to calm my nerves these days!

Thanks for the reply!

CrazyMadsMom39459.6917476852

You said that the tantrums stopped when meds were first started and have come back with a couple weeks. It could be that his body has become used to the current dose of med and it needs a slight increase. During the early dose optimization, the dose may need to be increased until the good effects stay. The other thing to look for is a posible increase in anxiety which negates the effectiveness of medication. You might keep a diary of med times, doses and effects (good and bad) to help sort this out.

My youngest had horrible rages at 9 before diagnosis. We had to stay calm and give her some space (while keeping her safe- this is tough) in order to not escalate the rage. We then would praise her for calming down and any positive step she took in that direction. At 3 and 1/2 this would be harder to get across to him. Hopefully the doc will have some good help to suggest.

NoTellin, it is a pediatric behavioral psychiatrist who diagnosed him and is managing the meds. He is wonderful and very responsive. And he assures me that the dexadrine is appropriate to treat hyperactivity and impulse control - and it is the only one approved by the FDA for kids under 5. If it doesn't work, we'll try ritalin. But it was working so well for a few weeks.

I was told he is a very severe case, and he has every symptom of ADHD, so I'm pretty sure we have accurate diagnosis. Maybe not the correct dosage or medication right now, but we'll see...

I will wait to see what he says on Monday. Incidentally, there is NO WAY I could wait another THREE YEARS to do something about this. I was a desperate woman and we both needed HELP!

hi crazymadsmom - i am not a mom so feel free to ignore in entirety (am just in the mood to post) and thought i would lay out my neice's ADD journey to see if it is of any use to you...

my sister's child is probably a little ADD (but not severe) and she is unmedicated/untreated and very precocious. taught herself to read aged 3 etc. she also used to have extreme meltdown rages over the most ridiculous non-things. what worked with her is what has already been suggested - she was put in her room. it seems cruel to isolate when someone is already so upset and yes, i think she may have broken stuff. but it worked. i don't know why. but it worked for her.

it doesn't seem like the most obvious solution. loving hugs, reassurance, calm talking all seem the more natural response but actually shutting her in her room until she calmed down was the thing that worked. and worked to such an extent that she is now an extremely HAPPY, laughing little five year old. (oops in fact turned six yesterday - duuuhhh!)

i know it may also be time that has made the difference plus an excellent school teacher. but the harsher my sister was - the happier and happier and more well-balanced she has become. she also had sensory issues - had a problem with her clothes. and would come down to breakfast naked, screaming already with the chaos over the clothes... just constant, non-stop issues, problems etc. etc. from morn to night. over everything but particularly with sensory issues or transitions/changes of plan would totally throw her for a loop and she would literally stop, stock still, as if her brain had frozen and then some almighty meltdown. and once she started she couldn't stop. there's no reasoning you just had to let it burn itself out.

now she puts on her school uniform herself, she is happy, funny --- but basically just happy! this is two years later and perhaps she was not as severe as some but the putting in the room - worked.

along with a reward system for good behaviour (pennies put in and taken out of a jar) and along with some extremely almost brutal harshness in not accepting her behaviour --- my sister literally drove off without her... and she was running behind the car to try to catch up (the husband was at home - so she was not abandoned!) but my sister did not stop because she had given her a time limit and she didn't make it so the other siblings went on the trip and she didn't.

it might sound cruel in print but when you look at the result now, you couldn't fault it. she is like an entirely different child --- but the most important thing, so HAPPY. the majority of sounds i used to hear from her if i went up to visit for a weekend was screaming, tantrums, crying - now laughing. she was always a talker - a non-stop talker and still is but that's fine. it is SO different. she never even has to be put on the naughty step. she doesn't upset her siblings (although i think they are still a little scared/wary of her despite being older). she still has HUGE issues with perfection but they don't often result in a meltdown - a line out of place in her drawing and she screws it right up "i hate it! it's rubbish!" and throws it on the floor but no tantrum, no total melt-down - she controls herself without intervention and after two minutes re-gathering herself may ask for another piece of paper or alternatively will go and do something else.

she is EXTREMELY bright. so i think she already knows her triggers. and you can see her avoiding certain activities that she works out she may react badly to - certain card games she simply says - if asked by her siblings on a day she may be feeling on the edge - "no". not because she doesn't love the card game but because she knows that she has a chance of losing it - if the game doesn't go her way. and so she avoids the situation entirely. she has grown up fast - it is an extremely adult approach. and a lot of credit goes not only to my sister and her school teacher (who was/is a total genius) but also to my neice herself.

she is the one who has really managed to make it work for herself. she has already (aged 6, just) found coping mechanisms that are likely as good/if not better than mine aged 36! but with support from her parents and teachers in not allowing any leeway for her 'demons' to grow. every time that demon tried to rear its ugly head it was smashed right down twice as hard - so she was helped with that.

i would try the room thing.

when my sister mentioned that she was doing that i thought there is NO WAY that that will work. she'll wreck the room. she'll hurt herself. she won't stay in. it'll make it worse. she'll feel more abandoned/distressed. and i genuinely don't know WHY that didn't happen. but it didn't (i expect she wrecked some of her stuff in the room) and i am not there all the time so i don't know how hard it was on occasion - but all the same, it seemed to work brilliantly - no matter how tough it was for my sister. my sister used to phone me saying i know she will hate me forever/ she'll write books about how evil her mother was --- and i would try to reassure her.

and now, the difference is like night and day. it is remarkable. i thought she would HAVE to go on medication. i didn't think there was any chance it would turn out like this. this little ADD one is probably now better-behaved than her entirely non-ADD (although dyslexic) sister! she is still difficult - things definitely throw her for a loop but she herself controls it now. so it is not that her brain doesn't go haywire when there is a change of plan or something is NOT perfect (as apparently the world ought to be???) but that she just zens herself - you can almost literally see her do it.

i don't know what it was exactly that worked - a combination of things i should think. i don't think my sister is a naturally good parent --- i think she struggles more than most, as it goes. but i know that some of the techniques she used seem to have worked. she just got them from programs and from others' advice - it wasn't some instinctive parenting thing for her at all. but i wish you all the best. the room thing was one that worked and the reward system (another one i thought would have no impact. wrong again!) - i guess it is all trial and error at the beginning. but it CAN work out. don't think it will necessarily never get better....

i don't know if your son sounds at all similar to my neice??? there are such HUGE disparities in the levels of severity in ADD. although my neice seemed severe to me, maybe she wasn't - it was just her tantrums that seemed to take on a life of their own completely out of her control.

but in terms of your son and you. YOU push the play button if YOU want to. he is NOT in control (anyway he doesn't want to be). if he starts pushing to try to get the upper hand - that is exactly when he should NOT be given into no matter what. tantrum until he is blue in the face he has to learn YOU are in control not him (that's just what i think anyway). the sooner he accepts that - the happier he will be --- not that i know anything. it is just how i see it.

although he is severe - hopefully the medication can help with the toughest aspects of his brain chemicals but you will still have (presumably) the same problems after that of someone with a child of moderate/minimal ADD. so all the same tricks and techniques and harshness in stopping unacceptable actions/behaviours will still have to be used. my sister is also a complete food Nazi! she is 5'10 and 53kgs so skinny and strict with herself! and the children have NO e-numbers, hardly any processed foods at all excepting bread and cereals - no dairy products except butter (it's all goats milk!). otherwise it is all fresh cooked, organic meat, veg and so on - despite being skinny she is an excellent cook. so that might also help or at least not hinder...

good luck!! and apologies if this just comes across as a random post - there are so many more who are expert and have direct experience here. but i thought it might cheer if you saw it COULD work out. personally i think ADD girls are probably easier than ADD boys anyway --- just my own personal bias but i think girls are a lot more intelligent in that intuitive level of understanding themselves/their own brain and being able to help themselves, whereas boys - not so much, it is all coming at them in a seemingly random onslaught of images and instructions.

oh and i ought to add that although none of her children are medicated and only one out of the four has ADD symptoms - she does give them ALL a daily dose of Omega 3 fish oil. and takes a spoonful herself too!

so that probably helps.