Lack of direction | ADHD Information
Hi! Know the felling well. Check out the military it really helped me out. Do not tell them you are adhd it will not get you in. They have great structure, dicipline and the pay is not bad. I know that Iraq is a problem but at least you'll be doing something constructive with your life. I was in the Navy for 12 years, learned a lot and thrived as an adhd because You are rewarded for being active in the military. I loved it. They have so much to do and alot of benefits too. If you decide to check it out and don't trust the recriuter drop me aline I recruited for 7 years and I'll tell you the straight stuff.Hi!
I received a Bachelor's in Business Aministration in 1998. It took me 10 years off and on, but I am very stubborn and decided I needed to finish what I started. The problem is that I do not have the personality or the patience to do this type of work. I really should have gone into Psychiatry, but I thought I would have had to deal with some seriously mentally sick people and that freaked me out. Anyhow, I have had 3 administrative jobs, one of them would have worked out well because I had one set of tasks to do three times a week and another set the other two days, but a much higher paying job came along. The higher paying job had good days and bad, but I eventually quit because it really was not a good job for me and that was not fair to my employer. The third one was okay, but I could never sit at my desk for very long. Currently, my husband and I have our own business, so I am able to do some office work at times(I hate it) and then I do field work at others. The best job I have had but did not pay much was at the cash office in one of the Wal-Mart stores. Situations in this job changed everyday.
My suggestion is that if you are extroverted and people seem to like you try sales. If you like helping people maybe fireman or emergency medical technician might help. I'm sure everyone can think of other careers.
By the way I still am not doing what I think I am meant to be doing and I'm 35 years old. Maybe I will grow up one of these days.
Good luck
The best job I ever had was being a manager at a theme park. There were always 10 different things I could be doing. When I felt like concentrating I could sit in the office and work on the computer. If I needed to do something active I could head over to the wharehouse or re-organize the stock rooms. And of course when I felt really unfocused or restless I had acres and acres of park to walk through where I could chat with employees or park visitors.
It was the longest I ever held one job - 3 years. Of course the pay was absolutely horrible and I would end up going deeper and deeper in debt while I was there. Finally I had to leave because I could no longer support myself. Some day I'll find a job I will love, that will pay a decent/fair wage.
I also have problem for relationship and my job, I can't focus and have no interest. But my fahter is not Hilton so I must find a job to get salary to live.
inessa38329.0328472222I can only do one or the other Inessa. Either I work or I have a social life which is another reason why my work needs to be fulfilling.I know exactly how you feel. I've changed my major almost every semester that I was in college. I tried college for 7 years off and on and I think I only actually finished 3 semesters. I swear I majored in just about everything during school but can't get through the classes.
I get very excited about an idea and stay super focused on it long enough to register for another group of classes or buy a bunch of books to try and teach myself. As soon as the money is spent my interest shifts and I'm super excited about something else.
I really want to finish college so I can get a good job but things seems so hopeless, no matter how excited or dedictaed I try to be I always fail to live up to my own expectations. It's soooo frustrating to know that you are smart enough to do anything but no matter what you try you are no closer to your goal then you were when you started.
It feels like I'm running in place most days, You know the feeling of treading water. Just trying to stay afloat, trying to survive but still hoping for a wave to bring you to shore. That's me, I still have the hope that I can be happy and fulfilled. Unfortunately the hope and disappointment rollercoaster I'm stuck on are starting to make me insane.
Right now my only two options seem to be to work someplace I like but not make enough money to survive or to work someplace I hate that pays more but makes me feel more depressed and hopeless with each passing day.
If I ever find something that works I'll pass on the information but so far things just look pretty bad all around.
Yeah, but be careful about college you could end up like me with 150 credit hours and no degree.
I went from chemistry, to mathematics, to engineering, to medicine, to pharmacy, back to chemistry, to psychology, to anthropology, philosphy, back to chemistry, to history of science, to astronomy, to education, back to chemistry, to becoming a minister...
At the present time I'm working an hour in customer service. I'm the over-focus type ADD, and my interest and passions have been thoroughly exploited, and again I find myself bored looking for something that is going to fire up my brain.
Chemistry jumped in there a lot maybe you should try that again. Hell if you majored in it 4 times maybe you are pretty close to getting your degree.I'm about 24 hours from getting my chem degree, but I'm bored with chemistry at the present time. But, thanks for the advice.
Sheesh - I get lost every day. As soon as I wake up in the morning - my direction is askew.
Are you on Meds?? If not - why not consider some and see how things go.
I know what it's like to not be able to settle on a career. I started college with the intent to become a civil engineer and graduated with a degree in environmental studies. I'm currently in an entry level office position (which has nothing to do with my degree) at the university I graduated from. If that wasn't a step backwards!
Since graduating, I've thought about going back to school for psychology, sociology, anthropology, etc. It all depended on my mood that day. I finally realized that EVERYTHING interests me, but NOTHING interests me enough to make me want to invest time into lectures, papers and exams again.
I have learned to accept that I simply will never be a career-woman. My job is just something I do to pay the bills (it helps that I do like the people I work with). The beauty of this is that my work day ends at 4:30 and then I have the rest of my night to spend pursuing whatever grabs my attention when I get home that night. There's no overtime and I never bring my work home with me. It hurts the pride a bit to know I'm wasting my potential at a job which does not require a college education, but it helps to know that I'm broadening my horizons in other ways.
Don't worry about trying to find a career. Not all of us are made for them. Just try to find a job that satisfies some part of you (I deal with people all day, which, when it's not sending me into fits of anxiety, helps fill the void that having almost no friends creates).
Perhaps you could find a job as an office temp. You could request short-term assignments so you wouldn't have to stay in one place too long. It also gives you the opportunity to try out a lot of different fields of interest without too much commitment. And if you happened to find a job that you really liked, you could negotiate for employment with that company.
And when you come home from work, you have some great hobbies (learning Italian, tinkering with electrical circuits and web page design) to look forward to!
Actual love is patient and kind. It understands when you don't have an answer. I know everyone whom lives has problems. At least you have the awareness to try to express something is wrong. Everyone else is living in denial. They go on living life like nothing is wrong. Somethimes things might look just fine on the surface, meanwhile they are in turmoil inside. Follow your heart, try to understand yourself. Once you can do that things look a whole lot different. I wish you good luck. Just be patient and whatever you do, giving up is the worst!tHERE ARE 5 BRANCHES; COAST GUARD (AWESOME JOBS NO TRAVEL TO SPEAK OF) NAVY ( AWESOME JOBS LOTS OF TRAVEL IF WANTED) MARINES, ARMY, ARMY NATIONAL GUARD AIR FORCE (GREAT JOBS GREAT TRAVEL)
dON'T LET THE MILITARY SCARE YOU IT'S PRETTY COOL. YES YOU ARE STUCK FOR 4 YEARS BUT I'LL BET ON THE WHOLE IT WILL BE THE BEST 4 YEAR INVESTMENT YOU EVER MADE. THEY HAVE LOTS OF FREE STUFF, LOTS OF DISCOUNTED STUFF AND IF YOU HAVE A DEGREE THE OFFICER PROGRAM IS DEFINITELY THE WAY TO GO.
Add me to the list. Lost in America--changing my mind 3 times a day, worked as a temp forever, making excuses for myself to cover for my inadequacies, knowing that I could be great at so many things if I could just stay calm and focused inside.I left work and wanted to bawl my eyes out yesterday, but couldn't find the tears. I am past tears and it's a desolate feeling.
I could definitely compete in the "# of jobs held" contest...especially "# of DIFFERENT KINDS OF JOBS HELD" - I feel so ashamed about it most of the time. I work on a respectable office situation and was embarrassed when I admitted to my stable co-workers (many whom have only had one stable career) that I had once been a dancing bartender (not nude). Thanks to my big mouth, I felt so exposed though.
Ok, I have to add that I read some pretty good posts here and am feeling less tragic. I really like the one about telling the family where to go with their opinions. I have a good job right now, but I'm lettting them down and feeling terrible about myself. My mother pressures me to keep it b/c it pays so well and they are so easy on me about my hours, etc.
I long for the days of being a temp; I am so great with people--that's a problem at work---people want to socialize with me endlessly. I would be a great teacher or probably super in sales. I have a knack for making people feel like they are understood and that I know how to solve their problem. I make them feel happy and welcome and helping them to see things in a different way. Chaotic, emergency situations are my forte.
You know....I really hate that. <Grump> I swear, I'll never get married.
And, if I do...it won't be to a normal person. bb
bluebird3838337.0405439815
I am 43 and had over 40 some jobs! so I can relate to you! I wanted my own thing but didn't know what that was! I am doing it PT now and hope it will FT soon. I totally understand the frustration. I got bored at jobs but I hated to be stressed with hard jobs yet that was what I needed. My mind never settled to concentrate until I took Strattera. I also use meditation tapes and subliminals! There are very goood to settle the mind! quantumquests.com and http://dicksutphen.com/ I have CD's, tapes mostly subliminals. I always say it goes in the back door this way! 
Get this book, The Energy of Money, very good spirtual book about relationships with ourselves, others, money. It has exercises to find out what your true life intention is and the goals to get there! VERY goood boook and I don't settle too read much! I usually read while exercising! Goood Luck!
LOL I love that you said chaotic emergency situations are your forte. I am the exact same way. At one point I actually wrote on my resume that I thrive in chaos. I got a few strange looks from potential employers on that one but it's true. In every job or situation I've ever been in I do the best when things seem completely out of control. Everyone else is frazzled and feels overwhelmed but I feel more calm and incommand. It's when things are quiet and there are only a handful of things demanding my attention that I feel lost.
My most fullfilling job ever was working at an amusement park. I was in charge of a huge area. I had hundreds of employees that seemed to always need something and an endless stream of park visitors with varied wants and needs. Seemed like everyday there were a couple of new emergencies, so I never had the chance to slow down or get bored. I swear if it wasn't for the fact that they didn't pay enough to keep me alive I would have never left.
I'm still optomistic that I will find a job or career that is fullfilling but I can't help getting discouraged a lot of the time. I'm so smart and can do so many things so why is it so amazingly hard to find a job that will make me happy.
ADHDadult,
How much Straterra are you taking to get the effects you have realized, and how long did it take you to find the correct dosage? I have been on it now for about 7 months and still don't know if I am truly getting all of the benefits that I should or could achieve?? Thanks!
hi,
I was started on 40 for 2 wks I think? now 60. They usually start out at 40, but I also take Prozac and suspect it has to do with the synergy of both, neither by itself was enough. I am not focused everyday! I can skip Prozac a day but Strattera is daily. If I forget a day or so then sometimes I feel spaced out on both together. I find caffiene plays into it too and has for me. If I am hyper and take caffiene (which I usually don't) then it makes me sleeeepy! If I am sleepy and take it , it can help. Strattera is a non-stimulant so it works different than Ritalin.
In the group I attend most are NOT on Strattera but Ritalin or Adderall. Almost all on are on another med too! for Anxiety or depression. It seems to go hand in hand. hth
I'm 45 years old, and I still feel the pain that a lack of direction gives.
I bumble through life changing this way and that, never completing anything...I am more than capable on completing diplomas and degrees; but I never do. I loose interest.
I learnt to accept this is how I was, and tailored my lifestyle to suit. It doesn't matter what you do, as long as you can become independant and support youself, and if you have a new job every week..it doesn't matter.
Of course you may be lucky enough to find a trade thatis different evry day, and challenging. Take time out to explore who you really are(a multifaceted diamond), don't be so hard on yourself (most people would get really fed up with deodorant cans)
If something tiggles you fancy, apply anyway, you never know what it may lead to..
Keep challenging yourself and realise life is an adventure to be explored.
Ditto to everything that is writen on these boards.
What I found that worked for me as a career is selling Real Estate. I control my time. I have no one to answer to. I make lots of money. I have freedom to come and go as I please. I work out of my home office (Which is a mess). My clients change all of the time. If one gets angry they move on and the next one I get knows no difference.
I love it, but that's just me.
I'm so frustrated today. i just walked out of my job it sucked. It was just a really boring factory job where I'd stand there pushing tins of deoderants down a line. Aaaargh! It drove me crazy. I have way more potential than that. It paid the bills tho but that was all. I got good grades at school but ever since I left I've had no structure. i must have had about 40 jobs since I left (4 years ago). They range from really boring factiry jobs to jobs working for my local council in an office.
The office jobs were more interesting (and clean) but I couldn't concentrate no matter how hard i tried. I'd usually get sacked for constantly being late or pulling to many sickies. I've started college courses but not finished them. I really want to stay in a career, maybe do an apprentiship with a skill but I can't stop changing my mind. I feel so stupid.
My dad gives me so much goddam grief about it. I can't figure out what career to go for too, I mean last year I wanted to do a web site design course in college, but then I changed my mind and moved to Italy. I only stayed there for the summer and came back to get a job and try and settle down. Then I wanted to be an Italian translator so I started learning Italian (gave up after two months).
THen last week I decided I'd be interesed indoing an electrical apprenticship, but then I got distracted by an idea of going into the army so I had an application appointment today, finished that afew hours ago and now i wanna do an electrical course at college. Or maybe I could go to university. Gosh darn my stupid mind.I'm scared that if I do start something then I'll give it up or wont be able to concentrate or will have to work with ppl and get anxious that they don't like me.
On the outside I guess ppl think I'm laid back and lazy but inside my mind is tearing me apart. Sorry for ranting and I'm not blaming anybody but myself but I'm so confused. My dad keeps telling me I'm 22 and I should be settling down into something. I wish I could. Or maybe I don't.
What keeps happening is that I have these ideas for a career but I take so much time changing my plans that I end up spending most my work time working in boring tedious factories and then walking out. I haven't been put on meds yet will they help at all, wuill they give me some sort of focus. Without sounding self-pitying i sometimes think that giving up would be so much easier. But I have friends and family. If I could just go to sleep for about a year that'd be cool. For a year anyway. I should go now, I hear they're doing a careers talk at college about becoming an astronaut. 
Sorry for the long post btw
pretty_lost you are exatly the way i am now. I am very lost and i don't know wher to go either in life. I'm leaving college as I didn't do anything for it. I can't stay in a place thats' boring, I go and do something "I feel like doing". I am pretty lost aswell lol. I have no idea of what to do. Yes and my parents are the ones that nagg and want me to do college aswell although they have laid off me a bit now. They were always pressuring me to do things that I didn't want to do. I am extremely confused as to what and where i wanna go in life. I am going to go for some advice on what to do. Don't worry you are not alone. It's like one day you have an idea and the next you change your mind until you end up not wanting to do anything only listen to music, all day. I am exactly the way you are and it's part of our adhd. I never finish things, I get too distracted and as a result nothing gets finished. Looking at the way i'm going now i'll never have anything . I'm the same in relationships aswell. Just cant keep at em. But i advice you strongly to go and seek some medical help. I'm going to start ritalin, it is supposed to change the lifestyle I and you have around for good. I heard it workes wonders. Go and seek some help. I did. Oh and don't worry, you're not stupid, your prob above average intelligence most adders are. I was told I'm above average, I just can't read for very long. Even if it interests me, I find the learning process boring even if the topic is really interesting.
And all this talk about giving up sounds like me aswell, I just wanna kill myself a lot. i think very, very low of myself, even though according to a lot of people i'm liked and stuff. But after so many rejections and failures I feel so bad. Keep the chin up.
GOOD LUCK.
wildlad08838323.335625Damned Stressed Parent, looks like you are over medicated.
[QUOTE=ADHDadult]hi,
I was started on 40 for 2 wks I think? now 60. They usually start out at
40, but I also take Prozac and suspect it has to do with the synergy of
both, neither by itself was enough. I am not focused everyday! I can skip
Prozac a day but Strattera is daily. If I forget a day or so then sometimes I
feel spaced out on both together. I find caffiene plays into it too and has
for me. If I am hyper and take caffiene (which I usually don't) then it
makes me sleeeepy! If I am sleepy and take it , it can help. Strattera is a
non-stimulant so it works different than Ritalin. In the group I attend
most are NOT on Strattera but Ritalin or Adderall. Almost all on are on
another med too! for Anxiety or depression. It seems to go hand in hand.
hth
I too, have been using Strattera for a few months now, going up & down
dosage-wise, and laying off it when I felt I was getting too tired from it.
I have recently been doing 40mgs & a 20mg/Adderall XR first thing in the
morning, and that seems to work OK (my MD wants me to do 80mgs
Strattera, but that caused too much drowsiness).
I may up the dosage later if I feel the need, but for now, I'm really just
trying to figure out if the Stattera is doing anything mentally positive for
me or not. When I was taking more, altho I was drowsy, it seemed to put
me into a kind of "happy/mellow" state, and I'd even find myself
humming to myself (melodies I didn't even know) as I ran erands...almost,
like I had smoked some pot.
I may be recapturing that "high" as I have only recently upped my dosage
from 25 to 40. My inclination is to take more, as I am not a small person
(6'2"/210lbs), but from doing alot of reading, Strattera's effectiveness is
more related to brain chemistry than body weight.....
It also reversed the somewhat adverse reaction I sometimes have with
Adderall, that of E.D. Which is odd, as I've read of many, many users of
Strattera having the opposite experience, they find they lose both their
libido, and their....uh...."functioning"....
Having opposite reactions to drugs, however, is nothing new to me......
Hang in there ... I'm 56 and had a few jobs myself. I went into the military in 1966 - USAF ... saw the world - even Vietnam didn't sway me - I loved the excitement. Retired in 1988 and have just taken 'basket case' jobs since then ... was a D- student in H.S. but have managed a degree in Educ and now work in computer security - go figure. My dream job is a tour bus driver but it won't put my son's through college. I love jobs that provide lot's of self autonomy & love to do my own thing. Upside is success, downside is complete failure. I have a son who is 'just like me' boy can you imagine watching yourself grow up all over again? I try so hard to help him - printed off a bunch of stuff on ADD and talk to him but sometimes I feel that I am a failure and get so frustrated with me (him.) Here's a kid with a photographic memory, musically talented and smart as a whip - heading off to college and I'm so scared for him. I know he will do great if he can focus and not rely on memory - for now I'm just trying cope the best I can. Thanks for letting me vent.
This sounds exactly like my life. EXCEPT I'm 33 and feel like I've wasted the last 15 years. I just learned of my ADD recently. I wish I would have known when I was 22! Good Luck!Thanks for the info ADHDadult!
Wow, thanks for the nice responses!
It's re-assuring to know that their are so many others who feel the same and I'm not alone.
I'm still not sure about the army. I think you've gotta be good with working with ppl and that's not one of my strong points. But I can see how it could be a good thing for an adder, the structure and everything. I certainly need some structure in my life.
WHOA! Amazing to see so many that are having difficulties like I'vehad for so long (just found this site)
Hmmm... I recently turned age 44. Been in college or trade school
most of my adult life... changed majors 10-12 times (business, real
estate, nursing, aerospace engineering, general engineering, energy
management, environmental studies, ....) completed about 300
semester hours but no degree yet. Most everything is interesting to
some extent, but not enough to follow through.
I've also had about 25-30 jobs over the years... some really tedious
shipping and receiving jobs that I could last at for only 3-4 months.
The clerical work was worse.
I've had more success in the trade school forum (both private and
military). They are short, to the point, and useful skill oriented. They
have no bull$#it in teaching me "how" to think.
If I had not been ostracized by my family, I might have been able to
make a career out of being a paramedic. (They felt it was a dead end
job and that I should go to med school or become a lawyer). Working
as a medic was fun, exciting, presented a reasonable amount of
mental challenge... and every hour was different! Even patient
that I had seen many times because they were diabetic, asthmatic, or
whatever... still presented themselves differently. Auto accidents @
8am on the highway in the rain... delivering babies in the afternoon,
heat attacks in the evening, bar room fights and shootings at 2am. It
was awsome. I really really really liked the constant change.
However, the hours were exhausting, it interfered with a social life,
and the pay was terrible. I burned out prematurely after about 4
years. If I was 22 and knew what I know now... I'd still do it again.
However... this time I'd tell my family to F^C# off and break all
contact with them if they could not be supportive of my decision.
Career options in this field are much better tday than they were in
1985 too.
Crap... I'm sorry. Did you have a question? I'm giving advice and I
don't even know if that's what you asked for.
Anyway.... I'm on a role. Another job that was pretty good was
working as a surgical technician. I picked this training up through
the Army Reserves... it worked well for me... but only because I had
been a paramedic prior to this. If you went active duty, you'd get
good experience in the operating room and then you could continue
this in the civilian world. As a reservist... you'd likely only get the
minimal training and getting a job in the civilian world would be
tough. Chances are you could only land a job in Central Processing
or Sterile Processing... and you'd be washing the dirty surgical
instruments. Some of the best advice I ever got was to refuse a job
in these departments because if you accept it, you will NEVER be
able to make the transition to the operating room. A private trade
school or other public institution besides the military is a good
option to break into this field.
Anyway... surgery was pretty good... almost always interesting... pay
is decent... and after a couple years experience you can easily move
around to different hospitals, cities, states. Are you in the US or the
UK??? There are companies that specialize in assigning you to 3-6
month contracts and provide housing. It can be a nice way of
traveling & living in different areas. The opportunities are even
better for nurses. The only thing I really didn't like was working with
some of the surgeons... too many were primadonnas.
Good Luck!
Engineers are all basically high-functioning autistics who have no
idea how normal people do stuff. Cory Doctorow ,Eastern Standard
Tribe, 2004. American science fiction writer Just a suggestion to kill a few birds with one stone. Enlist in th military if thats poped into your head once you've signed those papers your stuck. Then you can do a lot of travel, switch fields, and even branches of the military they are strict and will make you focus. Plus it's lots of college money and you can take what ever classes you want. I have a friend who is in the Army and he's been to 24 different country's and loved it! I have friends who are in the Air Force one like's it the other doesn't and another couple in the Navy (he's still in Japan) and he loves it too. I think in some ways the Millitary can be an ADHDers nightmare and a blessing to. It provides structure ( an ADHD person needs lots of it) and security but still alows for change's in jobs and change's in scenary.