ADHD is BS!!!!!!!!

Everything seems so perfect when 19.

Let's talk in 10 years.

**T**

The Truth ???

It's obvious from your post that you still have issues. I suggest that you go back to your "supportive parents" for a "good old fashioned kick up the a$$"

It wouldn't do if we were all the same

Good Luck

I have 2 children with these types of issues.  The oldest is 24 and the youngest 13.  Both are girls.  The oldest just completed a 15 day stay in the state mental hospital.  Her DX is ADD and Recurrent Major Depression.   The youngest completed a 9 day stay in a private facility about 2 months ago and has a DX of Bi-polar disorder.  From what I understand, the differences between bi-polar and ADD/ADHD are minimal so let me tell you about my experiences.

Jen, the 24 year old, had problems in school from day one.  Teachers complained that she would just sit and stare out the window all day long.  By second grade, she was not reading at all and the other kids were beginning to make fun of her.  At just 7 years old, I found her sitting in a closet crying.  When asked what was wrong, she told me that life was too hard and she didn't know why she had to be born.  I immediately took her to the psychologist at our HMO.  He thought she was ADD, but decided to try her on Ritalin.  Ritalin helped with the attention issues, but the emotional issues lingered on.  At 11, she was still horribly depressed and suicidal.  We now had better insurance, so the pediatrician referred us to a psychologist, who did a battery of tests.  He dx'd her with ADD and depression.  He added Tofranil to her Ritalin.  Personally, I didn't think it made any difference and didn't agree with the DX so I quit giving her the Tofranil.  By 16, she quit school.  Once out of school, she seemed to be happier and quit taking the Ritalin.  However, I couldn't get her to work and when she did work, she just could not perform to the employers expectations.  At 20, she got a job that she stayed with for four years.  At 21, she had a baby out of wedlock.  Now, my family is a group of high achievers with high expectations and Jen always wanted to live up to those expectations.   She moved out on her own, worked and tried to raise her son alone.  However, she had alot of job performance problems and the birth of her son aggravated her depression.  She then began to self medicate with methamphetamines by day and whatever she could get her hands on to sleep with by night.  By time I figured out what was going on, I had to move her back home and take over the care of my grandson.  She was majorly depressed and contemplating suicide, couldn't get out of bed and was experiencing delusions.  She has been through 3 jobs over the last six months.  I finally had her committed to the state hospital.  The put her on Zoloft and Straterra.  While her mood has improved, I still see no motivation, she is picking at her face and making sores and is not sleeping.  I believe the Straterra is causing the picking and that was feeling was reinforced yesterday when I had her skip the Straterra and noticed she wasn't picking.  I still do not agree with the DX of ADD and major depression.  I believe she is bi-polar II and what we are seeing is a common symptom of mistreated bi-polar.  When a bi-polar is treated with anti-depressants, it can throw them into mania, symptoms of which include excessive talking, not sleeping, agitation, excessive shopping etc.  I spoke to her social worker today and she agreed that something isn't right.  They have scheduled her with her psychiatrist next week.  Hopefully, they can do something with the meds.

Marie, is the 13 year old.  She has always been extremely hyper.  She does not sleep at night.  It isn't unusual to find her walking the house or re-arranging the furniture in her room in the middle of the night.  I have always felt she had ADHD, but the doctors kept saying no.  Earlier this year, she was raped by a 30 year old man that she was babysitting for.  She soon was having even more trouble at school and home than ever.  Our family doctor put her on Prozac, which I objected to, but her dad insisted we give a try.  Within a month, she was suicidal so we put her in the psychiatric hospital.  We were very shocked when they told us she was bi-polar.  I was really confused so I made it my business to educate myself on this diagnosis.  What I learned is that many bi-polar children are actually mis-diagnosed as having ADD/ADHD.  One of the primary differences is that children who are bi-polar often DON'T SLEEP!  They will stay up late rearranging furniture etc.  They can get by on little sleep.  They will also become very happy, skipping through the house like they are headed to Disneyland.  The next minute they could be crying.  WOW!  That was my child.  She is being treated with Depakote and Seraquel.  She is doing much better.  I haven't had a call from the school in over a month.  Her grades are up and I am having no discipline problems at home.  She is also sleeping 8-10 hours a night.

The reason for sharing this is to say, first to the 19 year old that started this thread.  Sometimes you may think you have outgrown your issues and that everything is o.k., but when you get out in the real world, you may find that your issues still exist to some degree.  Second, to the rest of the parents.  Please do not depend on a teacher, family doctor, pediatrician or in my opinion, even a psychologist to evaluate and diagnose your child.  They need to be evaluated by a good psychiatrist!  I wish I had known much earlier what I know now.  I don't know what the future holds for Marie, but I do know that she is better now than she has ever been.  As for my other daughter, I am still fighting for her.  I still go with her to her appointments and oversee her care.  I am her only advocate and I want HER to be able to raise her son, not me!

LOL The first post makes me giggle.

He's 19, he had ADHD but doesn't anymore.

Hmmmmmm

You say you don't have it anymore.

Hate to tell you but if you don't have it now, then you didn't have it then.

So for you the diagnoses of ADHD as a child was BS. Of course the disorder itself is not.

You are an exception - believe me.  Try parenting a child with love, nurture and lots of attention as you stand idly by as he beats you and puts a knife to his throat.  I did not want to medicate my son and I resisted but he has self esteem now and his happy with himself.  I tried everything.  If you have children and be a supportive parent and do the best that you can and your child has severe ADHD you begin to feel hopeless and you begin to feel like a failure no matter how hard you try.  Then, I bet you'll think about meds.  It's good that you were able to 'get well' without the meds.  That's wonderful but don't judge those of us who have been through hell and back and watched our children suffer so much that we have made the choice to medicate.

Finally, I do not believe that you had ADHD.

thetruth i can relate so much to you. only the way i have acted all my life with adhd has resulted in a low, directionless, rejected(but loveable), intelligence wasted person. I have dedicated my life to filling a void. I have never looked on the road to solutions(long term). That's sh*tty. I dont value myself at all. I just see myself through others eyes. ADHD is who i am though. it's what i came into this world with. I know what people who think they are normal treat me like..and thank god i'm not like them...the f**king wankers. lol...sorry bout that outburst. but i've tried with people and education....none work....my only hope now is ritalin trial...i've never tried meds before....I cant self help myself. I don't have the attention span or focus....so my only hope before i can do without it is ritalin. I hope I will only need it for a small period until I get my mind "naturally" focussed. I have no friends,  no hobbies, no structure..it all = 1 depressed low self esteem little sh*t. Which I think I am.

The thing is I think people who are ignorant, stupid ugly etc are better than me...

by the way thetruth i'm 19 also and i hate authority myself. And even though I'd love to have a friend like myself, I can never find one. i think you're cool. Yeah i think you were right to nearly give the teacher a nervous breakdown. Teachers are sh*t lol. All they do is criticize your behaviour even if you can't help it. I often acted bad and i was criticized but i didn't know it was the wrong thing to do. I just did "what I felt like". And that is so honest. Now, I don't believe in right or wrong. What one person thinks is wrong another thinks is ok or right. So who makes the rules?? we live in a society dominated by certain laws and certain expectations. why dont somebody just make life universal!! that way we could all be free and live our own life  without criticism for being ourselves.. one thing though thetruth is that you said instead of getting pills a kick up the ass would work better....believe me my parents done this more than enought and it never worked for me at all....I could not curb impulses at all....it was impossible this made my life hell....Mayb there are ways that are natural to curb adhd behaviour but I don't think we'll know these untill a billion years with the rate research thinks without considering meds.

I am glad you have outgrown your ADHD.  Research suggest that some people do outgrow it.  I believe somehow these peoples brains learn how to make the connections that were not there before.  Maybe you were misdiagnosed as alot of highly intelligent people are becuase they become bored in a regular classroom.  This does not mean that skipping a grade is going to do any good.  These children need a different kind of learning environment and maybe you were one of those.  Yes, maturity can make a lot of difference and learning coping skills is also something that an older ADHD person has that a child does not.

You are 19 and still have a lot of life to live maybe before you start giving parents advice you should experience a bit more of life.  I am a 47 year old mother of an 8 and 5 year old.  I have lost a child to SIDS and no one can know what that is like unless you've been there.  My children are precious and I would never do anything to harm them.

Both I and my son have ADHD.  I didn't know I did until my son was diagnosed and I did research on ADHD.  The more I read the more I saw myself.  I can tell you that I did not outgrow it.  I have learned some coping mechanisms over the years but I still struggle every day.  I started the same medication that my son is taking about 4 months ago.  It has made a differnce in how I function and I see the difference in how my son learns at school.  Believe me neither one of us is medicated to the point where we still don't have problems, but it helps temendously.  None of us on this board are people who have not done research and tried numerous different strategies to overcome the problems that ADHD has caused in our lives.  The people here who have chosen to medicate have not done so lightly.

I resent people like you who come to this board on your high horse pointing you fingers and telling us we are bad people.  Even though those weren't your exact words that implication was in your message.  We come here for support and to support others in our attempts to deal with ADHD in our and our childrens lives.  If you wanted to share your story that would have been OK.  We are always interested in other peoples experiences.  Do not come here and tell us we are doing the wrong thing because you have no idea what our lives are like and the stuggles we have making decisions that will affect our childrens lives.  I believe you have quite a bit more maturing to do before you cast judgement on others.

before i delve into what i believe adhd really is, i would like to tell you a little about my childhood in order to help you better understand the context of my opinion. growing up as a small child, i had all of the typical adhd symptoms: restlessness, disobedience to authority, impusive behavior, you know the rest. i was considered an intelligent boy, but was emotionally immature, and had trouble relating to my peers. i would constantly be teasing others or was victim of being teased, whatever was necessary to be the center of attention. i would get into trouble in school quite a bit and generally did what i wanted whether or not anyone approved. when i was in 2nd grade, i apparently almost gave my poor teacher a nervous breakdown, who requested that i be tested and promptly put on medication to control my behavior. i was quite the little devil. after an evaluation from a psychologist, i was diagnosed with adhd and was recommended medication to treat this "disorder." my parents refused to acknowledge that their son needed to be on medication (drugs), stating that i simply was not challenged with the teacher's curriculum. i was then skipped a grade ahead to see if more difficult material was what i needed to maintain attention and focus. my adhd behavior continued even after i skipped grades, but began to subside as i aged. as i grew and matured, i learned to control my impulsiveness and forced myself to focus, however painful it was at the time. bottom line is, i was never given any sort of medication to treat the "disorder" that i had when i was a younger child. i am now 19 years old, and consider myself a perfectly normal young man with good work ethic and no social problems whatsoever. it is kind of crazy what parents are doing to their kids these days, giving them amphetamines and whatnot in order to make their lives easier. do people honestly think that giving their child a subscription to speed (yes, that is what adderall is) is going to have positive long term effects for their child? i am telling you from personal experience, that i had adhd and i treated it WITHOUT MEDICATION. all it requires is some discipline and willpower from the child, which may sound totally ludicrious, but it is part of the maturation process and will come in time.  these years of controlling a crazy kid may be rough but life is not always easy, as good parenting required a strong backbone and diligence. i went through a lot of bad experiences before i learned to mature and take control of my own life, and i am confident that your child will do so as well, once he or she reaches that point of self realization. giving your child medication to control his or her behavior is basically taking the quick way out, instead of letting your child fight and come out a better person at the end of it all. a child who cannot concentrate does not need legal speed, he needs a good old fashioned kick up the a$$ which is something that was somehow lost over time in favor of little mood controlling pills. people, you are not helping your kids, you are just creating addicts that will have severe psychological problems later in life from their many years of drug abuse (yes, a child who consumes amphetamines on a daily basis is abusing a drug even though it makes parenting easier) and the suppression of willpower.  just because a drug can be bought at walgreens does not mean it is okay for you to give to your kid, you are giving your kid a dependancy (maybe drug-addiction is a stronger way to put it) towards a chemical substance instead of healthy, natural self control. so do what is in your child's best interest: give him or her the love, support, and advice they need to conquer their own demons which is not an easy battle but i assure you they will become stronger people than most. i HAD ahdh, but not anymore, as i killed the ba$tard myself with the help of supportive parents and REAL (not fake aka drug induced) solutions.

I ...It's a pity that a 19 year old BOY feels righteous enough ...[/QUOTE]

It's not a pity, it's actually pretty standard.  When puberty hits you start to realize how much you know.  By 18, you know it all.  Then 25 you begin to realize how arrogant you were when you were young.  Then I imagine that you finally realize how ignorant you really are.

I started to type an provokingly angry response, because this is my first visit to this forum.

I came to it for support, not for judgement or criticism.

It's a pity that a 19 year old BOY feels righteous enough to make these statements to his wannabe peers who are struggling for support with their daily crises.

Yup I must admit - I am getting a bit tired of angry people coming in here out of no where making the rest of us feel bad. 

Yes he is 19 - I was married at 19.  So I think a 19 year old that has overcome ADHD (apparently) can take a bit of defensive reiteration.

Anyway, If truth is happy - good for truth, When we catch up with his almighty wisdom, I hope he gives us a pat on the head.

I am in a very sarcastic stage atm - so excuse me if I sound bitchy - but I cant help it, the truth eludes me

Well, everyone her has pretty summed up the flawed/ignorant claims of The Truth.  I would like to reiterate the main flaw though.  It is a statistical no-no to try and generalize a whole set of data (the world) on a singular data point, namely you. 

However, I can relate to your philosophy of thinking that people can fix themselves and not need medicine.  I used to think that about my sister when she got on meds for ADD.  I was 15 and knew it all.  "Walk it off," I'd tell her.  But this is falling victim to the "whole world is like me" fallacy.  That's just how nature works. 

Would you tell a person who had seizures they didn't need medicine.  No, because it something that you can see happen to them physically.  When it's a mental disorder, it's easier to discount it as something that's just "in their head."

Another thing that came to mind is the amount of medication being prescribed these days.  They say that AD/HD is one of the most overdiagnosed problems in the US.  I see many of my friends getting on it because it helps them cram.  And at first I'm sure most, like me, kind of liked the "boost" from the amphetamines in stimulant based meds.  I've been on it for a few years now and I can tell you all the glamor of the medication is gone.  Most of the time I can't wait until I get my days OFF of the meds.  For me, the meds suppress my natural personality, and I've come to realize that I actually love being hyper.  My point is that I think the people who can "kick" the AD/HD on their own (most likely these people never had it to begin with), get tired of the meds and get off of them.

Anyway, I'm not trying to insult you The Truth, just trying to demonstrate where I think you went wrong.  By the way, I just stumbled upon these forums and am extremely excited about them. 

>>> Lee <<<<

Iyardie to the rescue...this is what I DON'T get: this "kid", according to our esteemed friend, should be allowed his say, and should be allowed to tell the group what a bunch of bad bad parents we are, and while he is at it, he is allowed to use any language he likes, however abusive. BUT...if we choose to react and react strongly then we are wrong. If you go on the offensive in a place that is supposed to be a soft place to land for people who are GENUINELY doing their best for their kids, not making any decision with whimsy, not taking any matter with their special kids in a light or flip way, then you should be prepared for all comers. How does the old saying go, If you can't stand the heat... I am so tired of this on this board. I have a hard time of it, as we all do, and I come here to communicate with people who know what I am talking about. For the most part we are all empathetic and supportive, and we do, from time to time, engage in constructive "argument." But precisely BECAUSE we are all in the same boat, we have a hugh amount of respect for eachother.

It seems lately like there are a number of pot-stirrers ( tho' my grandma had a different name for it) and as I've said before healthy debate is fine, but to come here and condescend and judge is unfair. It really makes me sad. If you don't want inflamed responses, then don't post inflammatory remarks. I really don't care how old you are. Old enough to know better, I suppose.

I ...It's a pity that a 19 year old BOY feels righteous enough ...[/QUOTE]

It's not a pity, it's actually pretty standard.  When puberty hits you start to realize how much you know.  By 18, you know it all.  Then 25 you begin to realize how arrogant you were when you were young.  Then I imagine that you finally realize how ignorant you really are.

[/QUOTE]

I have to laugh - I was married at 19 and divorced at 26 - pretty on track with your theory isnt it.

[QUOTE=Tamaraw1969]Do you realize these people (Truth) Come in to the message board give a statement, ruffle our feathers and half the time we never hear from them again.[/QUOTE]

Yeah, I know.  I almost didn't post anything because I saw that it was his 1st post and he probably wouldn't respond.  But I realized that's not what matters.  We probably wouldn't be able to make a dent in his personal philosophy anyway.  What is important is to see others views and realize the common themes among ADHDers.  In any event, if he was looking to get a rise out of us, I'd say mission accomplished. 

Do you realize these people (Truth) Come in to the message board give a statement, ruffle our feathers and half the time we never hear from them again

People like this are commonly reffered to as trolls as they dont come here in the spirit of support, they come here to be right and then just go their merry way. Everyone is entitled to their opinions but when someone tries to validate their opinion by criticising and bashing parents for their choices, thats inappropriate in any arena in life and that is exactly what we teach our ADHD'ers from very early on in life. We teach our children that there are boundaries in life and when boundaries are crossed, prepare to be met with resistance. The very reason some people never learn boundaries is because people constantly make excuses for such behavior and therefore, the person learns nothing and this just enables the behavior to continue. I wouldnt or wont accept inappropriate behavior from my own son so I certainly wouldnt make an allowance or excuse for anyone coming to a support forum as theres a difference between giving an honest, personal opinion as opposed to lashing out in an insensative way to substantiate a claim. We all learn lessons as we go along in life and if we dont learn that we need to take responsibility for our words and actions, the consequences as an adult can be much more severe. For every action there is a reaction as this is human nature and when parents are bereted for their choices, whether it be on this forum or anywhere, there will always be a severe reaction.

Dear sir,

Being a adult who suffered from ADHD as a child I concur with your opinion, however getting there ( to the point of self realization) can take a very long time.  What did your parents do exactly that helped you to that point?  My parents were not that supportive.  And like some ADHD families there was a lot of physical abuse. I am not talking about the occasional spanking, I'm talking about being beaten. 

Some parents do not have the intestinal fortitude to continue being supportive and helpful. Some parents get mad, mad at themselves, mad at their child and mad at God. I learned then that kicking butt only serves to make some children angrier. I was.  Discipline however works wonders talk to the Military!!  The did wonders for me.  I am a 41 female. I joined when I was 20 after trying college and failing just as miserably as I failed highschool. I was succesful in the military due to the fact that there were clearly defined consequences to any action.  Do well and recieve good things, do poorly and you'll be culled, be exceptional and recieve even better things, be a menace and you'll be sent to the brig. No if and or buts. 

  I have an 18 and 10 year old who are still not there!  So if you are going to dole out parenting advice... be specific  what did your parents do to help you along the way.  I am dying to know!!

You are getting lots of feedback on your message as you must of expected.  You say you out grew your adhd and that is great but that doesn't make you an expert on the subject or actually give you the right to say that that it is bs.   You are showing your age and maturity with that statement.  You may had not needed meds but that doesn't mean all kids can go without meds.  I am by far an expert on the issue but know how hard it is to deal with a child that has adhd. I was  your age when I had my daughter and having been dealing with adhd for the last 14 years. I was dealing with it at first by myself, because her adhd father that was not treated as a child, had become bi polar and was into drugs.  I was told that a lot of children that are not treated tend to turn to drugs for an escape and as adults become bi polar. By your statements I am assuming you are not a parent yet, therefore you can not really  judge how a parent should handle their adhd child.  You say with love and discipline and that is all true but when you are a parent and you are watching your child grow up and see  how they have to struggling to focus, making it hard to keep up their grades and how teachers label them the "problem child".  Also how hard it is for your child to make friends let alone being so hyper and annoying they can't keep friends so they become isolated and depressed.  Watching this happen, watching your poor beautiful baby(because at any age your child is your baby) suffer all of this is more then a parent can take.  It pulls your heart and you want to be able to do anything to make it better for your child but you can't make their grades better and you can't make people be their friends so all you can do is look for a solutaion to try to help them and yes that might be to put them on medication.  People love to think that we parents put our children on meds to make it easier to deal with them but that is by far true.  Most children have a wide range of side effect and in most cases makes the child even harder to deal with at home.  The meds are more for the child to do well in school and have a normal healthy social life.  Us parents are the ones that have to suffer when the meds wear off but chose to do all of this so are children can be happy.  That is what makes us parents......

I reckon if my parents had helped me with my homework, stood up for me more often regarding school, actually listened to me and not just responded with an aha aha, and didnt drink so much damn alcohol (not my mum tho).  My childhood would have made me a better more functioning ADHD adult.

Also, parents that are social (i am not so I fail that one), and have friends with children regularly visiting, the kids are more balanced.  They see how their parents interact and learn how to be socially acceptable.

if you all notice truth may have crawled back in his hole..he or she has not responded back.

LAB88--Welcome to the forum and we are all here to support one another although sometimes we may disagree on methods and sometimes we have negitive posts that seem to gather more support for one another.

a few weeks back rantster monster did this saying we were drugging our children which mad me so mad i could have spit nails..but one thing I noticed the people that normally post negitive and critical post do not have children with adhd and have no clue what their parents went though and what we go through on a daily basis..

Rae-as always you make me laugh