New to all of this | ADHD Information

Hello, I'm so glad that I found this board.  My youngest ds is 7 and was diagnosed ADHD this past October and he has been seeing a child psychologist every other week since then.  We (husband, doctor, psychologist and myself) decided not to put him on meds because his grades are really great (he is in 2nd grade and does 4th grade math).

He has always been very hyper and is very impulsive.  He has gone to the principal twice this week- once for standing on his desk and singing a song (he is always making up songs), which is bad enough but he was singing "I'm going to save the world and cut you."  Then the next day I get a call that he touched a girl in his class "inappropiately" and that we have to meet with the principal, teacher and counselor because the teacher now feels that he is a "danger" to other students.

My husband is sure that he is going to get kicked out of school and is going to grow up to be some kind of criminal  I'm thinking that it will be suggested to start medication and have an ARD (IEP in other states).  Maybe a 504- though I'm not really sure what that is.

My questions to you are:  does this sound like more than ADHD?  How do you decide to try medication?  And how do you get the school to help?

I wish my husband was more supportive.  Has anyone else had to deal with a spouse like this?  We've been married for almost 18 years and have 4 kids and the only problems with the other kids is that 2 need speech-only ard's and one is ADHD-inattentive type.

Thanks so much!

I would inquire about Asperger's to rule that out.  If you can, don't let your husband speak such negative words about your son.  No father should be speaking about a 7 year old in that manner.  Speak POSITIVE words over him....

He is a treasure.  Ride this current storm out.  Get answers as to why he is behaving this way.  I hope that you get some answers on the other side.  Take a look at both yours and your husband's mental health history. 

twirly1

 

Meds are a personal decision, and not one to be taken lightly IMO. However, meds will usually help curb the impulsuveness and hyperactivity, inorder to help him in school to learn and be accepted by his peers.

A 504, or IEP is not going to help his impulsiveness, and it isn't going to help his grades if he cannot control himself. It will more than likely be a bahvior/discipline plan. The school CANOT suggest medication, they cannot practice medicine.

It does sound a bit like ADHD, but it could also be other things. I would contact a Psychiatrist to discuss meds. I told my DH that he wasn't the one getting the calls fro  teachers, or the one doing homeowrk for hours on end. Meds were my choice, ad he had no choice but to go along with it, or be quiet about it.

edbson39464.2999768518WE WRESTLED LONG AND HARD OVER THE MED ISSUE. WE TRIED FOCALIN AND IT WAS HORRIBLE FOR HIM SO HE HAS BEEN REFUSING MEDS FOR MONTHS. WE ARE SUPPOSED TO BE TRYING VYVANSE ANOTHER TYPE OF MED THIS SATURDAY BUT MY CHANCES OF GETTING IN HIM ARE SLIM. IF THIS ONE DOESN'T WORK OUT WE ARE NOT GOING TO RUN THE GAMMET OF MEDS OUT THERE HE IS VERY MED SENSITIVE. HE ALSO GOES TO PLAY THERAPY EVERY WEEK. WE HAVE JUST BEEN DEALING UNMEDICATED AND IT IS NOT PRETTY. SOME KIDS NEED THE MEDS TO SLOW DOWN ENOUGH TO GET ALONG SOCIALLY AS WELL AS SCHOLASTICALLY(MY DS GETS GOOD GRADES ANYWAY BUT SOCIALLY HE HAS SOME ISSUES) SO WE WILL TRY 1 OR 2 MORE THEN THAT IS IT FOR NOW UNTIL HE GROWS UP A LITTLE.

As for the touching incident...my granddaughter did something simular like that

in first grade....In music class she touched a boy sitting next to her...I think she

wanted to pinch him because he made her mad...not sure of her

 reason....thou???????  Back then her behavior was a lot more eratic....

 

I too had to go into school and had meeting with principal....He changed her

classroom to different teacher and it never happened again....He said some

 children are curious of differences and if it didn't happen again or frequently after

explaining to her the no touching of another person rule....Action would have to be

 taken to solve the problem....Said we would have to go then to Child Psychologist.

Thankfully it never got that far....Best thing is to sit him down and explain..... 

 The  NO

touching policy....And be very stern with it.....

This totally sounds like ADHD behavior to me. Been there, done that !!

Maybe he doesn't need stimulants to focus since he's doing great academically. Maybe he just needs meds for hyperactivity/impulsiveness, since those are clearly your main concerns.

NoTellin39464.8163657407

Thanks for your input!  I am struggling with all this right now.  My husband is very much of the mindset that it is a "selfcontrol" issue and I have told him that ds just does things and then thinks about it. I've also told him that he is not the one getting the phone calls and going into meetings- though he is planning on going to the one on Tuesday.

It feels like I'm torn in half- half says yes to meds and the other says to keep him off.  Obviously something needs to change...

Hopefully, I'll have a better handle on things after the appointment with his psychologist and then the meeting with his teacher and principal.

Thanks again!

GOOD LUCK TO YOU!

You'll find out more as you go along. The more knowledge you, dh and ds receive the better decision you can make for him.  We have a ds diagnosed in March of 2007. He is on Adderall XR 10mg right now. It is not a miracle, cure-all pill.  You have to have coping strategies and back up plans and resources (this site is wonderful!)...

We still struggle, we get the phone calls from school, too. I just wrote in yesterday because our ds was throwing rocks (more than one occasion) and was sent to the principal.   Good days and bad days.

My husband doesn't get it completely, but I can't blame him...I don't either. Difference is that I'm a reader, I like to educate myself and get a plan of action. Husbands typically tend to lean on us to do this and then just tell them what we read!   There isn't anything you can pin-point or one solution, it's many many things. I think that's why it's so hard to grasp for everyone.  Print things off that you think are informative in a way your husband may understand more and more...bring it to him. It's okay to do that.

Hopefully, the next few weeks will be more informative and assuring! Keep us posted...(PRAY! It helps!! )