I need HELP with morning routines! | ADHD Information
staying stimulated andnegative attention.
while resrictions can motivae so can stimulus so i recomend keeping a a small journal of what works and why .
nagging until mad is a last resort . but very effective but the rest of the day may be worse than how it started.
find a way to get the work ethic going and this may go away on its own till then ...
i once saw someone but "special powers" soap one whiff of it and the kidd came out roaring like gozilla
sleeping in school clothes showering the nigh before.
one alarm wake
another stimulus like morning computer time useing timers is easy to set up.
and yet even onother clock out by the front door that means "get out of the house now " which can periodically be moved backto make a less paniciky morning.
ive found that the most ODD kids respond to duties for positive reward.
on my unit i wake every body up at 6am 22 some kids that wouldnt be caught dead speaking to me in a friendly manner. i wake up at 5:30 and say " i got the hot water getting ready. i'll give ya ten more minutes "
they open thier eyes or move around a little to let me know they heard me .
i come back a minute later (2keepem stimed) "i think your alternate staff needs someone to take out trash (wbcd)-(wouldnt be caught dead) five minutes later i come in loud and say ten minutes already(lie- only works on kids that dont wear watches) "come on up so you can get the trash reward.
for the record even thuh its my job to take out trash - the kids like the chance to get positive attention 1:1 with staff and out of the facility to the dumpster
:(wbcd:)
also i clom aroud in the morning turn on the unit radio for five minutes right at 6am.
first room to have all the kids washed, beds made , things organized,uniforms on get to control the radio to ten minues.
thing is its still way early and they really want to go back to bed. to i let them
bed made-clothes on back packs ready .
two things ive noticed more than anything else tha motivate kids more sleep. and food.
when it comes to food your on your own only to say when they pick it out they are motivated to do anything to get it "even fight over extra coco roos"
take away thier choices and they just dont care.
if i need them to get up at 6am
some of them get up with a "ill give you ten more minutes"
so i wake them up at 550am "ill give you ten more minutes"
when a unit gets lazy it begets lazy new comers so i stat on top of the lazy ones making morning not restful part of it (imho) is they have internal clocks
today i have gibber jabber at them the whole morning from 6am till 730 not like thier getting any rest just laying there as i talk talk talk at them even fusss a littles but their still laying there at 730 i know when i come back ans ask 2nd shift what time did he go to sleep it's usually an hour earlier than the day before meaning the time they got up determined the time they went to bed- the time
so like jet lag it takes two weeks to adjust to this time shift ans is why i hate daylight savings time _ ohhh thats a whole other story
through a whoopy coushing in there every once in awhile add some humor
i once fake falling down ansd screaming like a girl hobbling around pretending to call the supervisor the kids were howling but the comotion got a lazy day off on a humorus note.
yea my other stricy co-worker hate my angst but you what . a good morning invites a good day so i thats my goal for them .
i keep a journal here on my coputer of tricks i use.
splashing water on them is never ever well you know why.
i found that loud noise is usually the waking tool .
is that noise always positve or negative or sometimes both.
i use a proactive approach.
noise in the hallways 5am
staff talking loudly about positve things 520
soft prompt to early birds at 530
loud prompt 540 ore noise clopping and dragging my feet down the hall opening doors and shutting them.
a loud burst from a supervisor on a different walkie channel talking about whats for breakfast
get the noisy trash barrel rolling down the hall
prompt a few loud disruptive kids to wake which only makes the other want to go to bath room
lights on with prompts to start thier day positively
radio for five minutes starting at 6am
isolate a few hyper kids to romp a little then tell them loudly to go to hier rooms
all this is helpful from time to time but in my humble opinion
its the work ethic that helps them navigate thier choices
how to mange thier own stress by environmental means.
2kids
1 good kid goes to college does his after classwork in the libray befor e going home and can relax worry free about the day ahead.
second kid hangs out with friends , rushes on sugar- argues with everyone
waits till after dinner after tv after talking on the phone after being bossed by parents to do afterclass work. by then has forgotten what was lectured and worries all night and morning staying down in the bed as long as possible to avoid the negative day ahead.
thing is the first kid ate dinner , watched tv , talked to kid #2 on the phone , still got bossed by parents about something . got up early with his work ethic and reviewed his after classwork to make sure it was as best as he could do .
rides in same carpool to school gives copy to kid 2 but recieves for college and a good grade.
so my question is at what point did the parent of kid number one help develope this ethic
how many more years will it take to develope this in kid two
rise and shine i have something for you but youll have to get up to get it.
for finishing your home work and showing me what it means
tomorrow ill give you if you can get it done befor dinner.
by the way ill match you dollar for dollar on clothes- car- educaton every month. but music ,games ,and candy things that waste money are on you if you choose those things.
I feel your pain with the morning frustrations!! It's still a battle and my son is 8. I believe I've tried every technique possible but he's got his own agenda (in his head) and often times a good temper since he is unmedicated. Taking away things had no impact because it's not instant enough so he says he doesn't care. One reward that use to work was a small treat for the walk to the bus stop. Lately it's a quarter if he makes the bus (he loves to purchase pencils at school). With many days nothing seems to encourage him to get ready. I still help him dress the snow pants, boots, etc. as he's eating as much as possible since the stimulant suppresses his appetite for most of the day. My best solution has been the assistance of the school. The special ed person helps chart when he makes the bus and he earns a reward after a certain number. If he can read, write a list of toys that he wants and a value for each toy (in marbles). Get a couple of jars labeled IN and OUT. Get a bag of marbles. Put them in the OUT jar. Write a list of morning chores. For example, getting dressed in 5 minutes earns 3 marbles. Brushing teeth without a reminder = 2 marbles. As he does each thing, the marbles move from the OUT jar to the IN jar. If he cannot read, tell him what he can earn and how many marbles he needs to get it. If this is not motivating, just buy the highly desrired toy and place in plain sight with a big red number on it that equals the number of marbles he needs to get it.Thank you for all your suggestions! I've always used the timer idea, but my son melts down when he's on a time restraint. Any ideas about that?
I really think the key is more special time with my son. He gets so little as it is with the "competition" of the girls. He performs really, really well when there's positive reinforcements in place, and I can't think of a better way then to sit him in my lap and read with him or just cuddle. Thanks for the reminder and I'll be utilizing it on Monday after relaxing in our pjs all weekend (I'm with you Crunchy Frog)!!
That "special time" idea is great. It's hard to remember that in the mornings when everyone is trying to get out the door. [QUOTE=Crunchy Frog]Can I just say I love that special time idea! Thanks so much for that!
We have getting dressed races, since I drop her at school on my way to work, so I can't forget getting me ready!
Also in this cold weather I have to go out to start the car first, so it's like "when I get back, can you have your boots and coat on?" A sort of built-in reality check. Once the car is on, she's too upset about global warming to stall much then (if she's not distracted) - all I have to remind her is that the car's running so we'd better get going.
But yes - I think I need to incorporate more special times in our routines - great reminder!
Isn't it hard? I'd love a more relaxed morning myself! Wouldn't that be luxurious! We deserve it!
[/QUOTE]
Thank God for weekends! My son LIVES for the weekend mornings where he can just *chill* in his pjs, eat breakfast at his leisure and get dressed....whenever. SO DO I!!!!..
I think all us ADHD families have our crazy mornings. Luckily, my other child is 19 and off at college so its just getting ME ready and helping HIM get ready.
We do all the *pre* work. Clothes out the night before,lunch packed, backpack packed, coffee pot *set to on*, breakfast picked out...so basically his routine is " get up, pee, wash up, get dressed(shoes included!), take meds, eat breakfast and then brush teeth. YET we get up at 6:30 in order to be out the door by 7:40 or so...I still have to *help* sometimes with getting dressed. Not that he CANT but sometimes i have to hurry it along. He gets extra gameboy time if we get out on time and that seems to work the best. Also I give him his meds AS SOON as he wakes up. I actually wake him up with a glass of juice and a vyvanse. It takes a good 45 minutes to kick in and by the time it does, its when he needs to finish up breakfast and get his coat, backpack on.
We also do the *weekly* countdown*...He likes that. I will say* Oh its MOnday..ONLY four more days till you can RELAX*..reminding him seems to help somehow.
Good luck!
We're still learning all of this stuff too but I can't definately feel your frustration! Our son is 5 also and mornings are hard for us too. He is on the Daytrana patch, which takes a couple hours to kick in, so we use a short acting Methylin as soon as he gets out of bed that kicks in within about 15-20 min, that does help. I'm not familiar w/Focalin at all, so I don't know if that is an option for you but worth looking into. The short acting pill option was actually suggested to me by others on this site and has made big difference.
We also use a timer for EVERYTHING in the morning, 10 min to eat breakfast, 3 min to go potty/wash hands, 5 min to get dressed, 3 min to get coat/boots on. If he completes tasks within his timed minutes he gets a reward, it seems to help. We still have bad mornings but I think every kid does. The timer helps him stay on task cause he wants to beat that timer, he likes to race.
Yes even my non ADHD kids had crazy mornings.The two year old twins... do they go to day care? If so, I see your problem. However at 5 you may be asking too much if he has to get himself dressed. My 6 year old still wants help.
Could it be that he is really in need of "you" time and this is one way to get your attention? What if you got him up and dressed him while still in his room. Lots of feed back like can you get your head in this shirt before I count to 5? Wow! only 3 you are so fast! I know you can't get in your pants before I get to 7!!! Then just 2 minutes on your lap and smooches on his ear. Tell him you are so happy he got dressed quickly so you could have some special time... Promise "special" time every morning...He is dressed! Backpack in the car last night!!! Lunch in the fridge last night! Get the twins up and dressed. Now breakfast. Cereal bowls & juice cups already on the table with the cereal boxes. Buckle in the twins... pour juice & milk, make toast... Sit with them... Slice an apple and hand around pieces...
Time to go!!
Can I just say I love that special time idea! Thanks so much for that!
We have getting dressed races, since I drop her at school on my way to work, so I can't forget getting me ready!
Also in this cold weather I have to go out to start the car first, so it's like "when I get back, can you have your boots and coat on?" A sort of built-in reality check. Once the car is on, she's too upset about global warming to stall much then (if she's not distracted) - all I have to remind her is that the car's running so we'd better get going.
But yes - I think I need to incorporate more special times in our routines - great reminder!
Isn't it hard? I'd love a more relaxed morning myself! Wouldn't that be luxurious! We deserve it!
my daughter never did well in the mornings unless she was medicated. We always had to give her a fast acting stimulant when she woke up until her long acting meds kicked in. The only times we dont do it, is when we are using a 24 hour med, like the tricyclic antidepressants and now using Strattera she is ok.i always found it interesting how my hyper active child moves so slowly in the morning. we have made several accomidations to her (first grader) mornings. first all lunch and drinks are made the night before and are ready to go along with her back pack. she likes to have cinnimon rolls for breakfast or pancakes so i also make them the night before and just reheat them in the am. it helps to keep me on track. along with her clothes, tooth brush and hair brush are all laid out for her, i also do the same thing for me so i am not running around trying to find what i am supposed to wear or what i am supposed to pack in my car.
but what has worked best is getting her up about 20-30 minutes earlier. no matter what i do, (timers, tv time, pictures of what she is supposed to do, money), she can not move faster in the am. she even gets her meds into her about the time she wakes up and she still moves slow. but even an extra 15 minutes can do wonders for her and me.
my hope is as she gets a little older this will become easier, if i am wrong please don't correct me. it is what i am holding onto.
good luck.
I also struggle with mornings, and It's just me and my 7 yr old. DH is out the door before we get up. No matter what time we get up, even an hour early, we still seem to get out the door late! We have Xbox 360 in the livingroom, on the main TV. Because DS doesnt get to play as often as he'd like, that is his incentive. He has to get up, get dressed (I lay out his cloths, he dresses himself), eat breakfast, have teeth brushed, shoes on, backpack all ready to go.. coat, hat and gloves all in a pile ready to be put on. THEN if he has time, he can play Xbox. And, this past week, I've not had to remind him too many times. He's even been brushing his teeth on his own without me having to ask!
I also bought a medium sized white board and some sticker letters to make a morning and evening chart. I'll put letter stickers on the board to spell out each task he has to do, with a space next to it so that he can take the marker and check it off. I'll be hanging this on his door, at his level, so he can check off each task morning and night. That way, I can simply say "check your chart" .. instead of telling him to do each task 50 times! I expect this will make both our mornings a lot better! And DS said he'd like to do this chart! I hope to have it completed by this weekend.
My son is on Adderall, takes it right when he wakes up.. and mornings are still not perfect.. but I dont think they ever are when you have children!! LOL But, you just have find out what works best for your kid!
my daughter also gets up extra early so she can manage to be ready. She has to get up at 5:45. She would NEVER get out the door if she didnt have a full hour to get ready though.
It does get better though, at least she actually does everything now. We had to do things in the same order for years, but it has paid off. Some days she'll say I want breakfast before I get dressed. I say NO, always the same routine...........it worked. Now she just does it..................sorry to say she is now 13, but it DID eventually work out. I still ahve to prompt, but it gets done................
I feel of your pain!
This is such a hard and common issue with ADHD families.
I've tried every technique discussed on this board and for us, unfortunately, nothing ever seemed to work long term in smoothing out our mornings. Then, after reading the suggestion on this board, we resorted to giving early meds about 45 minutes B4 wake up time. I also give breakfast with it....literally... on a tray IN BED!! I know this sounds insane to many parents, but in our case, it was an absolute godsend!!! I will never go back to those horrible mornings again. We now have peace. My son just loves to be able to go back to sleep. He gets up and gets ready with no problem after the medication has kicked in.
We do give a short acting booster stimulant in the late afternoon to cover evening homework time.
Good luck. Okiemom
3toons,
I didn't read everyone's response but we have our son sleep in his clothes. Maybe a little gross but it gets the job done. 
Just my $.02,
I had gotten used to just getting up earlier to get myself ready for work then I focus fully on the child doing it all with her yes dressing her as needed and have accepted her limitations. My daughter is now 8 what does help is our Occupational Therapist made her a chart with pictures of what is needed and she moves the check marks over after each task. I have to add the novelty wore off a while ago so I have to re-introduce it soon.
Luckily our mornings while slow going are successful. We have our routine and it seems to work for the most part. (Though my son often needs to be reminded that if he misses the bus with me he will be walking to school while I shadow, and it is a long walk. Dad doesn't have time when I'm at work in the morning.)
Jillette touched on something I thought of when reading your post. At my work (with dev. disabled kids) we often use picture cues and schedules to help keep them on task. Your school should have access to a program like Boardmaker that can create picture icons of the different steps of the morning so that your 5 year old can use it as a visual reminder of what has been done and still needs to be done. If you are unable to get this assistance from the school in creating a schedule you could take pics yourself and using clear contact paper cover them so they last longer. If you use a long piece of poster board and have a before and done side so that you or your child can move the pic over when its done using velcro backings. If he can read then you could do this with words (like a checklist, but because it is laminated with the clear contact paper it can be used over and over). Hope this helps.
Here is what we do. My son is 7 1/2 on Foculin and also has morning dressing issues. Hubby gets up 10 minutes early just to help my son, We lay out the clothes in the night, stand in the room while he gets dressed and redirect him as necessary. Once he is dressed, he can go downstairs while 2nd child gets ready. Once adults are downstairs, meds are given, breakfast is given and shoes are placed on feet. They get to watch tv for about 10 minutes and then all that is needed is jacket. Stick to it and you will see how fast it goes.I took picture of my son doing his bedtime stuff... Then glued the 5 things on a poster board. He colored it too. It hangs on the wall and when he gets distracted I say did you do the things on your chart? One technique that helps for dressing in the morning is putting his clothes in the dryer. My son doesn't mind me dressing him while he is waking up because his clothes feel warm.i heard recently a mother at her wits end put a reading / storytime at her breakfast table.
I thought wow good for her .
then i decided i would try it . go to the library and wait for her to pick out the book.
but also i pick something i know she will like is my choice too.
the woman said to just start reading out loud and they started showing up for breakfast.
so i did it too . she was right . and i put another tool i can use in my morning coping skills journal 2008
ommas39479.3121296296Wow, just wanted to post a short note to say that we go through this too every morning! It was great to read through everyone's thoughts and know that none of us are alone in the morning struggle. I just keep reminding myself that my son will be able to get dressed on his own someday without my standing in his room reminding him of what he is supposed to do. Maybe by the time he is dressing for his wedding??? He, he!He will. If my (now 13 year old) can manage.....most days......ANYONE can. andreafred, my husband often does that dryer trick for getting pajamas on our 5 year old after the tub! You're right, that's a GREAT trick........I'm too lazy
. It does work...........nothing like a warm shirt.....especially in January![QUOTE=NoTellin]If he can read, write a list of toys that he wants and a value for each toy (in marbles). Get a couple of jars labeled IN and OUT. Get a bag of marbles. Put them in the OUT jar. Write a list of morning chores. For example, getting dressed in 5 minutes earns 3 marbles. Brushing teeth without a reminder = 2 marbles. As he does each thing, the marbles move from the OUT jar to the IN jar. If he cannot read, tell him what he can earn and how many marbles he needs to get it. If this is not motivating, just buy the highly desrired toy and place in plain sight with a big red number on it that equals the number of marbles he needs to get it.[/QUOTE]
I love this idea to help motivate my son to get ready in the morning!! I just emailed it to my hubby...looking forward to trying it. Thanks for the great suggestion!!
I haven't had time to read this whole thread, so I apologize if I'm repeating what someone else said. Do the twins need to be dropped somewhere immediately after you take the 5 year old to school? If not, can you get them ready for the day after school dropoff? That's what I did with my younger child until he could dress himself. Actually, he's now 4 and has been dawdling a lot in the morning lately. On those days, he still goes in PJs to drop-off.