nothing seems to work | ADHD Information

I am the mother of 5. Four have been diagnosed with at least ADHD. My twenty year old was a typical boy with no disorders. My 18 year old was diagnosed at age 6 with ADD. My biggest problem with him was motivation. My sixteen year old was first diagnosed with ADHD at age 4. That was the first of many diagnoses. He was the first big challenge. He started a fire which burned my house down. We lost everything to the fire. Thank God I was able to get everyone out. This was several years ago and we were able to rebuild our lives.I made so many excuses for all of his behaviors.I was convinced that it was a disease and he couldn't control it.I felt that no child would chose behaviors that kept them in trouble. Making excuses for him obviously wasn't the right choice .Now, I have to visit with him in detention because he has no problem with breaking laws.Now, onto my other children. My 12 year old was diagnosed with ADHD and tourette's.I just do the best I can with him . He can't take the ADHD meds because of the tourettes.Somehow I am able to manage him most of the time.Last is my 9 year old .She is the one that puts me in tears.She is so defiant. She curses at me , She has destroyed her room. I just can't seem to get her to listen.She treats me like I am a puppet on a string. If I don't jump when she calls my name she tells me she hates me , she threatens me ,she'll tear up things.I could go on for a while about her behaviors. Nothing seems to work . Meds will help for a couple of weeks and then it starts all over again.I am lost.I just don't know what else to do.All of my children were diagnosed by specialist.I chose only to medicate two of them and I did that as a last resort. We've had psychologist,psychiatrist,neurologist and therapist.Nothing seems to work.Is there anything else I can try?OMG 4 ADHD CHILDREN, YOU ARE A SAINT. I HAVE ONE AND ALMOST HAD A NERVOUS BREAKDOWN. I NOW TAKE LEXAPRO AND CAN FUNCTION AGAIN. I DO NOT KNOW HOW TO BEGIN TO HELP YOU ALTHOUGH MY HEART AND PRAYERS GO OUT TO YOU! spamula39468.2835532407

Welcome momx5,

Do you have a child development team in your area? They can be associated with children's hospitals and universities as well as stand alone practices. There is so much more going on for you and your kids than simple ADHD. The ODD, CD and tourettes can really complicate treatment. As you have seen with one of your kids, untreated ADHD (and especially the co-existing disorders of ODD or CD) can lead to pretty serious trouble.

If meds only work a short time for your daughter, are you in the titration process of finding the right dose? Or has she topped out on dose and had to try a different med. It can take time to get to the right med and dose for an individual and this can be a tough trial period. With the aggression, a second med may be needed for a while (for what ever is causeing the aggression-anxiety or CD).

Have you been working with a positive reinforcement behavior modification plan (like the ones described in ograms marble system-top thread of this board)? It can be hard for a parent to do this with consistancy, especially if the parent is also ADHD (I know this from personal experience).

You might also take a look at the book "Your defiant child..." at http://www.russellbarkley.org/your-defiant-child-book.htm

hi momx5 and welcome. I have to agree with spamula, 4 kids with ADHD god bless you! I cant imagine your world.

Who is your daughter seeing right for a doctor. What is her exact diagnosis? If possible cna you see a psychopharmocologist for meds? With so much going on you want someone with the MOST experience on meds and their side effects. Vickie's right that you may need more than one med for the different issues you have going on with her. No matter what you will need her meds under control and good conistent behavior plan to get anywhere with her. My best advice is a GOOD diagnosis and physician and to tackle one behavior at a time. It will slow and frustrating, but you can get there and she needs you. How is she at school?

Goodness you have a full plate I am stressed with one imagine 4. I agree with Vickie on the defient child book I read it and it was awesome and my child has ODD that can be what is going on with your one child. As for the one in detention with the right help I am praying he can learn and move forward towards a better life now he is seeing consequences us as parents do try to cushion and protect our children. It is hard being a parent nowadays.

To help you there may be services available to you for help like respite and other services extra supports for you. I know this for I am a Preventative worker for the county and do have Voluntatary cases and I have been linking and referring families for help keeping the family together is the mission. I also do CPS work. Voluntary is nothing Court mandated it just means someone in need of help and once things are better we close the case at the clients request I have met some nice families.
I just wanted to thank everyone for the replies. I am new to the message board and I am starting to figure it out. I replied to everyone that sent something to me.Although my email informed me that there was an error. So I don't know if any of you received my response. I didn't want anyone to think that I was ignoring them. I appreciate every comment and any information that any one gives. Having 4 children with ADHD has had me dealing with different issues for the past 12 years. And each of them have had totally different personalities with different behavior issues. I admit I am getting tired and I need some new outlooks.This just seems to be a vicious cycle.Thanks again for any help.

Thanks for the info.I had checked into respite care years ago with my son.I had not thought about it with my daughter.Her behavior is taking its toll on the rest of the family also.I took a break from my job as a paramedic ,I thought it would be short term to try and get her on the right track.That break has turned into three years.I always thought my job as a medic was stressful. But now I sure do miss those 24 hour shifts sometimes.I guess my point is that respite could help alot.Because at this point I have no help.