Coping Skill Collections | ADHD Information

7ommas39764.3484375

dry erase boards at eye level at my desk at work and at home on the fridge and in my office, possibly more.  I can see what needs to be done and then cross it off with my finger, no mess!

 

I am 38 yr female.  Dx ADD just a year ago.  I think I am still in the stage of figuring out all my unconscious coping methods.  My diagnosis came as a complete surprise, but it fits... it Sooooo fits.  I also suffer the fatigue and pain of Fibromyalgia, so my coping techs are catering to both.

I no longer promise to do things for other people that I know I don't want to do.  Joining organizations, even going to dinner parties.  My body has a very limited amount of energy, and I spend too much time stressing about going places it fatigues me all the more. 

I am terrible with finances and paying bills on time.  I had ,000 in overdraft fees alone last year.  ( I own a business).  My business is failing partly due to the recession, but the blame falls on my shoulders.  One help to me is actually OPENING and READING ominous bills instead of letting them pile up.  Unopened mail and stacks of papers everywhere add tremendously to my stress.  So I open them almost daily.

I bombard myself with self-help tapes like Deepak Chopra, Reducing Stress, Living Mindfully, Learning self-worth.  Subjects like that.  I also watch the movie, " What the Bleep Do We Know" at bedtime to remind myself to keep working on making mental improvements in the way I see myself. 

Stop being so hard on myself.  When I realize I am -yet again- thinking negative thoughts or being overcritical of myself, I literally say STOP.  Learning to be aware of my thought patterns is the first step of Positive change.

ommas39764.69255787042ommas39764.34938657411st, thank you everyone.

2nd, omas, "When I motor mouth I sit on my hands..." this i must do. to prevent myself from interrupting or spacing out during a conversation, i look into the eyes of the speaker. if o do butt, i cover my mouth with my hand and quickly say "sorry," one day i spontaneously covered my mouth. and have continued to do so w/o thinking.

3rd, flow
"...whenever I tell anyone they give me a look of disbelief, like I'm exaggerating. Little do they know. One of these days I'll quit trying to explain myself to others and just be contented to know myself as I am."

ME, TOO! ESPECIALLY SINCE OTHERS DO NOT EXPLAIN THEMSELVES.

4th, omas,re powerful TODO LIST software. whats the name?


5th, amy re "...the only thing that  I really do..."
 this is one of the most IMPORTANT things we can do to help ourselves. food is one of the few basis elements we need to stay alive. it is one of foundations of maslow's pyramid.  when i do not eat, which is more often than i like, i am in bad shape.  physically, mentally, and emotionally, etc. sleep, too.

I leave myself voice mails at home to remind me of stuff I need to do.  I used to feel silly doing this, but it's saved me a lot of trouble. 

I make a list if I need to get more than three items at the store.

If I need to take an item somewhere in my car, I put it in there as soon as I think of it instead of waiting until I make the trip...in which case there's an 80% chance I would forget the item!

I have a husband who is very understanding and asks me if I've remembered tickets, keys, checkbooks, etc. as I walk out the door.  I always thank him for doing this.  That's important!

How does the sitting on hands trick work?  I'm a motormouth too if a subject interests me, and can also be a horrid little interrupter.  I'd sure love a cure for that.
3ommas39764.3497569444That is an awesome story of rationing, Ommas!  I loved it.  And now I wish I had some Pop Tarts. WOW you are very what is the word, commited. the only thing that  I really do to help myself is a menu for the week to help with grocery shopping and preparing meals.  My husband bugs me that I need a list posted to tell me what to do before I leave the house or what to do when I get home. I said that it sounds stupid but I do need that kind of structure have yet to try something like that.

At my worst I tack yellow stickies on me when I go up stairs or vice versa so I don't forget what I'm going for---sometimes I just continually repeat the item I'm going for or talk to myself outloud.  They both work.

I do bins as well, but I'm finding that I'm going to have to put things in files because I go through all my bins several times a day. Even if I know I'm going to need something soon I'm starting to put them in file doors and then working very hard to remember what I file them under----thats always the fear that I won't be able to retrieve things out of files.

I do make lists of what I need to do before I leave the house and if its a big time crunch (thus my focus shuts off) I write down things like brush my teeth.  I don't do it all the time on very routine days, but frequently like when I have a couple errands or anything different about my routine.  Yea, all this stuff does sound stupid, and whenever I tell anyone they give me a look of disbelief, like I'm exagerating. Little do they know. One of these days I'll quit trying to explain myself to others and just be contented to know myself as I am.

watching my son (suspected ADD) I have realised something which I have taught myself as a mother, something which I havent always known. I think it saves me lots of time saved through avoided mess.
When doing practical things round the kitchen try to optimise your movements, I mean, if you are making a cup of hot chocolate try to not keep putting things down all over the place, try to keep hold of the lid of the chocolate pot, put the powder in the cup with the teaspoon and instead of leaving the lid off lying on the side waiting to get splashed with the milk or lost underneath something, all in one movement put it back on the pot. This means streamlining your movements, I am proud to say I can already open a packet of mozarella, pour the brine out of the packet and then put it in the bin, place the ball of mozarella in the dish and put the scissors away that I used to open the packet all in one long movement. And I havent got a mess to clean up and it was quick. Call me bonkers but it is these little things that can make the difference.
I have done the weekly menu too. It reallydoes help save time and money but you really have to get your act together to make it happen.
By the way, mistake on my last entry, last line above, 'I'd like to copy the non- add person, that is the typical kind of mistake I make and it gets me into deep trouble. Anyone got any suggestions for that one? Please!

Sink you are so right about the one long movement. I think that is what the "normals" do. I watch Martha Stewart and she is sooooo clean, she starts her projects clean and organized and when she is done it is still the same way, and watching her I think wow that looks so easy how is it even possible that i can't do that. But it is what you said put something down here and there, because I am only thinking of the next step and everything else does not exist. I don't even start projects clean and organized, because i don't have the forsight to get the things that I need before I start, so as I am going step by step I have to run to the cupboard and get... the glue or whatever, and by the end it is a disaster. I didn't even see that the room was a disaster until I was finished and out of the hyper-focus state. Especially when I am cooking it is the worst. So I geuss I wanted to say thanks for that Sink, I will try it if I can be that organized to remember that. I don't think it was something I really realized till you pointed it out. I knew everything was a disaster and that Martha wasn't, but why? So thank you because figuring out the why is the first step to finding a cure for the problem.AMYP39517.6620717593like Hallowell says, only handle it once, that helped me (although it is not 100percent poss) but it is so dangerous putting everything in piles.
I am trying to do the pattern planning but not getting anywhere with it.
I have a great timer on my cooker which helps me enormously, will try with a little pocket watch alarm but will have to see if it works, ie. it could get lost, take more time to set  etc.
Something else is the point in Hallowell and ratey that ADD peopel dont work so well under time pressure so I am trying to do jobs early on (obviously only the ones that I like doing)so that I dont get in the normal stress working through the night and ending up with crap and insecurity. Sadly I get into enormous stress doing the ones I hate like planning lessons (I am a teacher) but there I think I should write a plan and talk to someone about it so that I feel more confident about it rather than binning the first 15 attempts.
Lynne Weiss has a few types in her book on working with ADD and it is helpful to visualise the non ADD person doing the set job which the ADD types all fluff in their own very ADD way. I would love to be able to copy the ADD person but unfortunately even with meds it isnt quite working.

8ommas39764.3478125

p.s.  I form habits intentionally now...the more habitual my life routines are the better i function...and enjoy even
! smile

O, what a storyof your car life...i really enjoy your energy.

I say the aa 12 steps  and prayers i know repeatedly.

I am working on two things: amongst the clutter of my house, in relations with others:  1.  I try to rremember that i'd rather be happy than be right.

2. i repeat to myself:  no explaniing, no complaining, no confronting

ty O for the posts...

 

 

I have refined my kitchen clock timer and now use my mobile phone alarm to keep me on the ball through the day. It goes off to remind me to stop doing what I am doing , just in case I hyperfocus, it goes off if I have to pick up my kids, it goes off if I have to put a wash load on. The important bit is, when you are thinking about the job which you want doing, set the alarm or it is gone out of your head and you wont set it so it wont remind you.

Also, rip the corner off your diary page for the week and then,  when you open it up you can put your finger straight into this week without having to try to find it by leafing through pages - reason not to bother with your diary.

I also tell my email thing to 'mark as unread' so that I dont forget to deal with certain mails.

Sink, I also do the email thing.  Or I'll flag them so to sort them later is easier.

I belong to alanon (related to AA) and the twelve steps, which are also outlined in Hallowells' book, "Delivered from Distraction" are a life saver.  I am trying to implement them to my ADHD life but not having much success. :(

I don't do the menu thing.  It's just me and my daughter and she eats like a bird.  I do try to make sure I go to the cheap grocery store though.  When I was a new mom, I had to live on /week for groceries and I hated it.  After I got divorced, I vowed that I would never disallow myself food because I didn't have enough money.  Now, I know some of you may be thinking that's poor budgeting but if you've ever gone hungry, you'll know what I'm talking about.

One way that I deal with the paper mess is I have a large 4 drawer file cabinet.  All the bills and miscellaneous "stuff", insurance documents, doctor bills, house repairs, jokes, taxes, etc. are in there alphabetically.  In the top drawer, in the very front is a folder "TO BE FILED".  Every so often when it gets full, I put all those papers in the right folders.  It's a system that works well for me.  I also keep my bills on a spreadsheet but I'm not always diligent about its' upkeep.