I read The Lightning Thief, The Sea of Monsters and Titan's Curse this summer. They are a great series of books. My oldest daughter loved them. My youngest daughter hasn't read them yet, but plans to.
[/QUOTE] Yesterday, after school, we "had to" rush over to the book store to buy Titan's Curse.[QUOTE=inspiredbymusic]I don't have much advice on this, since I still struggle with it myself. I have a problem with the word "disorder" that is part of the ADHD label. Maybe I'm in denial, but that word seems too harsh to me!
When my daughter was younger, I think I mostly just talked about her having difficulty with focusing and finding ways to help her with that.
Last year, when she got a 504 plan, I felt the need to tell her more and did start telling her she had "Attention Deficit" (left out the word disorder) or used ADD or ADHD, terms she'd heard but didn't know much about. I try to say that she just learns differently and needs extra help with focusing or attention, and that she is smart but it just takes her longer to get work done. It's also a little confusing since she has inattentive type, but most people, when they hear the term "ADD" or "ADHD" immediately think "hyperactive."
Recently she read a novel called The Lightning Thief, and just finished its sequel, The Sea of Monsters. I got it for her because it features characters from Greek mythology (which she was studying in World History) in a modern setting. Anyway, she loves the series, and apparently the main character is described as having ADHD. I haven't read the books myself, so I don't know exactly how it is portrayed, but I can tell that my daughter enjoyed being able to identify with this positive character.
[/QUOTE]
I really like how you went and are going about it with your daughter, and that is the approach my husband and I are going to take. We do not like the "disorder" part of it either. Fortunately my son is and has been doing well in school, we do homework shortly after school before meds wear off so usually it goes smoothly. Hopefully that will continue. I do not want him to ever be labeled as having a disorder or problem, I know he is different and will always face different obstacles but he can do anything he sets his mind to!! Thanks for all the help and input from everyone I do believe honesty is the best policy but little bits of info at certain ages is what will work for us. Thanks to all.
I will not be telling my son anytime soon because of his demonstrated propensity to use things as an excuse for his behavior...My son is 5, when the time comes for me to explain it, I will say ADHD may explain your behavior, but it doesn't excuse it.[QUOTE=NoTellin]I will not be telling my son anytime soon because of his demonstrated propensity to use things as an excuse for his behavior...[/QUOTE]
I agree also as my son is only seven and really has not manipulated too much but I am sure our time is coming..........
I agree with janyben and most of the others. You should explain it to them but not in so much detail that they get confused. Most kids only need a short explaination. I told my son but comparing it to a race car. told him his brain works really good but it kind of goes to fast to actually understand all the things you need to learn, just like in a race car you actually can't see the people in the stands watching you because you are going so fast that it looks like a long streak of color. but your med help you slow down so you can understand better. It seemed to work. I work for a pyschologist and she tells me that you need to continously tell them (in a low tone and make eye contact) when they are hyper that they need to try and control themselves. not that it will happen now but it will help them when they get older in learning how to control it a little on their own, at least some.[QUOTE=cali1234]My son is 5, when the time comes for me to explain it, I will say ADHD may explain your behavior, but it doesn't excuse it.[/QUOTE]
I agree totally, and have to say I love the pics of your dogs ( I have a 12 year old beagle). And I also say my son is spirited!
Well, I told DD when she was 8, but do not ever say you ARE ADHD, say you HAVE ADHD. Because they are not adhd, it is just a brain disorder that they have. This may seem like a strange question but I was wondering.....my son is seven and we have not actually ever explained the whole "adhd" thing to him, he does take meds but really does not question it, just does it along with his vitamins. Should I or When is the best time to talk to him about it? Just wondering he iour only child and very bright so do not know how to go about this........ThanksMy son just turned 7 and he knows he has ADHD. Because he was having so much trouble in school and contantly in the 'take 5 ' chair it was starting to affect his self esteem. When I took him to the doctor for his final evaluation, I told him that we were going to test him for ADHD, which means that he has trouble focusing and making him be hyper. I told him that he'd get medicine to help him be better in school and finish his work. He was fine with all of that and hasnt really asked many questions about it.
A couple weeks later, I said something about "your ADHD medicine isnt working right and that we have to call the doctor to tell him so we can find a better medicine for him. He turned and said "what's ADHD?". I said it means Attention Deficite Hyperactivity Disorder. I said, "remember, it's a condition that makes it hard for you to focus and settle down? and the medicine helps that so you can be good in school and finish your work and makes it easier for you to pay attention to the teacher." and he said "oh yeah." trotted off.
I've found that with any difficult question a child asks, tell them the truth, but only give the basic information. Usually they are satisfied and will go on thier merry way. If not, they may ask another more specific question. Again, you answer with just enough that they are not confused, but again, always tell the truth. This is the way I've been handleing the "where do babies come from" types of questions and it's working very nicely!
My opinion is that it isnt always good to withold information from kids. .. especially when it's about them. But, it's all about giving the info appropriatly. If he knows from the get go he has ADHD, it wont mean much. If I dont tell him until he's 10 or 12 or whatever, it may be a shock.. he may get mad at me for not telling him sooner, and it will be more of an issue, than if he grew up always knowing he has it.
janyben-
I agree with you 100 percent, and that is how I am going to approach it. Thanks for the info.
I think to tell them immediately. I think my son felt like "something was either wrong or different about him". now he knows what he has, is willing to talk about his focusing, etc. He is very open about the meds and discusses with us how he feels. he asks for the meds as it helps him focus so I know he appreciates it. He is 8 now and started meds at 7
I explained to my son that it seems he is having trouble focusing and not saying things without thinking, etc (he is very impulsive!) and this medicine should help him and to let me know how it made him feel. That was very important to me. So if he had a headache he told me. :)
thanks, I agree totally with you, just like saying youhave diabetes etc, and that is how we always addressed it when discussing it without saying he has adhd. I don't have much advice on this, since I still struggle with it myself. I have a problem with the word "disorder" that is part of the ADHD label. Maybe I'm in denial, but that word seems too harsh to me!I read The Lightning Thief, The Sea of Monsters and Titan's Curse this summer. They are a great series of books. My oldest daughter loved them. My youngest daughter hasn't read them yet, but plans to.