What helps behavior problems | ADHD Information

A lot of kids have a hard time with transition maybe a behavior chart or reward system would help the school.  Also what I do I tell my girl "we are leaving or doing something else in 15  minutes" then I tell her again at 5 minutes to and it does help she knows it is going to occur.  Maybe the school can do something like that as well so he is better prepared. In terms of non-behavior mod type stuff I've found that my 6yo did in
fact have a dairy issue, taking her off that for a trial week turned out to
be such an improvement that she opted to stay off it - it's been since
Thanksgiving now, mostly of her own doing - she can tell she feels that
much better, which amazes me, truly.

I also think that some things we can't control do make them feel bad
inside - growth spurts, or milestones - I know there are just some
difficult periods for us where her sensitivity to the universe peaks out
and she loses it a lot more easily. Not much help there, of course, but
sometimes it helps me to remember that.

Mostly though I think behavior modification has been our best tool. Her
own realization of her particular needs and all of our acceptance of it has
helped her feel less "bad." It's been huge for all of us I think I
understand that this isn't our fault, that this IS an actual challenge, not a
failing - we DO have to work harder than many families (and she has to
work harder than many kids) - it sort of takes some of the pressure off
in a way. To not judge ourselves so harshly but instead buckle down and
say, this is how we have to live our lives, this is what we have to do to
function - it's more work, but that's just life.

So maybe in time your son will come to understand that it IS more
frustrating for him when he can't do things how he wants, he may
genuinely feel more upset than most kids - that's ok. But screaming or
whining about it isn't ok. He's got to work harder to cope, but he CAN
cope. You are here to help him, the docs and the meds - whatever your
course of action is there to help him - he CAN do it!

I dunno - I just think our ADHD kiddos get so much negative feedback,
so many "areas of improvement" required - I remember when I was a kid,
I loved best doing what I thought I was good at. maybe I wasn't (maybe I
couldn't read that well compared to other kids, maybe my handwriting
was awful) - but I didn't need to know the bad of it, I needed to hear the
good of it. I needed to feel proud of myself and I think our kids do -
maybe especially, since they hear it so seldom.He had a horrible first 4 weeks of school then things kind of evened out for him and he was having more good days than bad days at school.  But a couple of weeks before the xmas holiday, I noticed that his daily reports from school started saying he was having more issues again and less good days.  It's been consistently off since we got back from the xmas holiday.  Yesterday he told his teacher that he couldn't stand her and that's what got him sent to the office.  I'm pushing to get him started on a new med so maybe we'll try something new this week.  The tenex just isn't helping him with his irritability or focus.  I know getting help and meds and plans in place take a long time but I just feel like we've been treading water so to speak for a couple of years now and we're not as far along as I had hoped we'd be by now and I feel like maybe I'm failing him in some way. 

We are going to attend a Smart Discipline parenting class that our school district is offering at my son's school.  The flyer they sent home for this group had many references from parents with children who had ad/hd. All stating they saw differences both at home and school with their children.  The Smart Discipline group has a very detailed website with some opportunities to buy their DVD etc., if there isn't a program in your area.  I figure it can't hurt to find out what they suggest to help our kids.  I'm very excited and hopeful that I will hear some things that will help me with my son. 

 

My son sounds a lot like your son.  He has a terrible time transitioning from one activity or area to another.  It is one of the hardest parts for him. 

I agree with the previous poster that giving him a 5 minute or 15 minute reminder that the transition is coming helps, but that isn't always practical in the school environment.  Even if they know they need to give a reminder, and really intend to do so, sometimes it doesn't happen due to having all the other kids and distractions and such.  Then all of a sudden it is time to go and the reminder wasn't given.

I spend a lot of time pre-reminding my son that transitions are going to happen.  We talk about it in the car on the way to school, and talk thru what he can do if it is time to say leave art class, but he isn't finished with his project yet.  Or if he is having a great time at PE but it is time to go back to the classroom.  We even talk about it on the way to church, because they switch classrooms and activities there too.  I find that if he kind of plays thru the scenes in his head beforehand, he is better prepared to deal with them when they happen.

Good luck!  I know it isn't easy - and sometimes, no amout of working thru the scenarios, and reminders helps.  You just have to keep on working at it. =)

My 6 yr old son is still continuing to have behavior problems.  For example today he became very frustrated that he wasn't able to finish an activity in class before they had to move on to the next and started screaming.  He screamed so much that the other children were trying to help soothe him.  Finally he was taken to the principal's office to calm down.  I'm letting him have a play date (already arranged before I found out how his day went) now but I've had to talk to him 3 times in the last hour about whining/complaining when things aren't going his way.  I don't know that there is any med or supplement out there that will help with his behavior problem.  The only official diagnosis is ADHD but I know there is more to it than that.   We're seeing a new psychologist now but it seems to be taking forever for us to get on a plan of action.

I don't know if anyone has any advice.  Maybe I just needed to vent today.  He got his report card today and it was mostly that he needed improvement in all areas.  I just want to cry as I just don't know what to do to help him right now.

 I know exactly how you feel, my little guy is almost 6. Do you notice his meltdowns to be more consistant, are they happening more often? That would be a concern, but if they are just occasional, don't worry. I try to remember that for my son, for all the good days we get, it's okay to get a bad one thrown in the mix sometimes.

As far as the report card, do you work with him nightly in the areas he needs help? I try to get my son to do his extra work at a good time of day for him, when he is the most likely to sit and work with me. Right after school he needs "his time" to relax and play a video game.  After some fun time, we work on schoolwork.  It has made the biggest difference. Good luck to you!