any parents feel "they" need meds too??? | ADHD Information

i am so sorry to hear about your loss.  i would imagine that a loss like that would effect him. 

i know from myself that there are days where if feel like i am a really great mom.  and then i have days where i wonder "what is wrong with me?"  i am actually going to see someone at the end of next month, most days i feel like i am at the end of my rope, and although my husband and my family are supportive, they are not there in the am to get them out the door, or there to help with homework. 

i also think that my daughter can be more hyper after the meds wear off.  she takes it a little bit before she wakes up so the am is not so bad.  but she can have some pretty good energy levels at night, and getting her to focus off meds is impossible.

i just wanted to let you know that you are not a bad mom, and we all have days (weeks, months) like this.  welcome to the board.

Sometimes I get so frustrated that I think maybe I should take a visit to the doctor for some kind of meds. I never spank but I find when I get overwhelmed with trying to do home work or trying to get my ADHD son to stop picking on his step sister that my voice starts getting louder and louder and I hate that because it sounds mean and sometimes I feel like I am a bad mom. I know that there could be much worse things that could be wrong with my son but everybody's problems are their own and right now that is the biggest problem I am having. Coping with this without losing it, is hard. I go to bed a good many night crying hoping that I will have better coping skills the next day. Mornings are hell at my house. I believe that, even though my son was always hard to deal with that since he has been on meds, he has gotten worse. what i mean is like when there is no meds in him for ex. in the morning. I can't remember he being so hyper before he got diagnosed. Do anyone else feel that since diagnosed, that the times that they are not on meds, that the hyperness and everything else that goes with it is greater???? also, how does a traumatic event effect these kids???? MY son lost his father in an accident when he was three and I wonders if sometimes he still feels the pain of that, even though he was only three but every year around the time of his dad's death, without me mentioning it, he seems to know that it is that time, he starts acting up and asking questions. Some of which I don't know how to answer.Raising kids who don't need meds is hard enough.  Every day at our house starts out w/ a fight and it seems that every night ends w/one.  You are not alone! You just hang in there!  Pray, pray, pray!  Good luckAs for the med piece I forgot to address I posted trying to get my little one to bed why distracted anyways for meds.  I suggest trying behavior modification route first before jumping to medication each child is different some do well with the behavior mod.  My child however needs both meds and behavior mod. I HAD TO GO ON LEXAPRO MY ANXIETY WAS SO HIGH I COULS NOT FUNCTION FROM TRYING TO DEAL WITH MY DS 9, ADHD, ANXIETY AND DEPRESSIVE DISORDER. I ALSO MEDICATED MY SON FINALLY WITH ZOLOFT FOR ANXIETY (100% BETTER) AND WITH VYVANSE FOR THE ADHD(STILL IN PROGRESS) SO I DEFINATLY KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN. I NEVER RAISE MY VOICE ANY LONGER(WELL ALMOST NEVER)AND THINGS AT HOME ARE ALOT BETTER. GOOD LUCK spamula39476.2330671296First I'd like to say hi to everyone because I'm new here and this is my first post. :)

Reading your post, it sounds just like you are dealing with the same problem I am with feeling like a bad parent. I get frustrated with constantly having to tell my son the same thing over and over "Stop jumping off that.. Don't throw that.. Get down.." I end up raising my voice or loosing my temper. I hate yelling at him, especially knowing that he has this disability that is affecting his self-control.
I say get yourself and your son counseling to help so  you have someone neutral to talk to also if your son is suffering from his loss it would help him.  Dealing with ADHD any therapy is beneficial.  Do you have any family members or someone close to you to help watch the kids to give you a break?  To me you also need some time off for yourself being a single mom is stressful and you are doing the best you can so remember that. Jillette great advice...I think couseling would be the best thing.   My son attends play therapy and I go on occasion to my own therapist.  I find it to be very beneficial for me, espcially when I feel that I need an objective ear...someone who will listen and guide me as appropriate. 

(hugs)  I'm so sorry for your loss.  I know what you are going through.

I go through periods of losing it too.  Somedays are better than others.  You need to find some outlet - some stress reliever.  Easier said than done.  I am watching my son crash and I can't do anymore than I am doing.  It's amazing I get out of bed.

I have thought about talking to someone too. In fact, at my last GYN apt. she gave me a list of social workers.  My husband is meeting with the psychiatrist today to find out how we deal with a 14  year old in denial with ADD innatentive and ODD who is probably going to stay back.

 To keep things in perspective, I practice yoga -  & meditation - both active practice and restorative.  It helps.   Last Saturday we had a bad episode and I had to take the dog out for a long walk.  I was crying and I hope no one saw me.  I was at that point that I was ready to throw in the towel.  Somehow, I found the inner strength to pull it together.

My parents are very supportive and they are there for me and I vent alot.  My husband is calmer than I am so when I'm freaking out, he kind of balances me.

When I get really crazy I post here - and believe me there are probably posts with me venting and whining and crying asking how everyone stays together.

If you feel you want some anti anxiety medication to help you stay calm so you can help your son, I think you should talk to someone.  Maybe a therapist can help you so you don't need to take medication and if you do need it, you'll know you tried all options.

My son needs medication and won't take it.  This causes major stress because deep down, I think he knows he needs it. 

I HAD TO MEDICATE DUE TO ALL THE STRESS OF THE WHOLE THING. IT WAS AND IS STILL VERY HARD TO DEAL WITH . I AM ON LEXAPRO 200MG FOR MY ANXIETY. NOW I FEEL MORE ABLE TO HANDLE THINGS.

Yes to all of your questions!! It is very hard, every single bit of it.  Sorry for the loss of your son's father, that alone is enough heartache.  I do agree that we could all benefit from the therapy or family counseling. We're actually looking in to it now as well. Financial status is an issue as much as we'd like to think it wouldn't be.  But do find a support group even if you cannot afford therapy.  It would be beneficial for all the trials and tribulations that just come with having a child with ADHD. 

I just posted "Rock Bottom" a few days ago. It's been a rough week for us as well, about the time I think we've overcome 'it' (whatever 'it' may be) something else comes at us.  It's just how it is...but we have to learn to advocate for our children and we have to learn coping strategies. There is no being lazy and being a parent of an ADHD child, I'm not saying you are lazy that's just been my latest lesson. I tend to just will him to be 'normal', how odd is that thinking?? I'm learning and you'll learn too what works for you. It may be medication, there is no shame in finding what HELPS. Period.  Hang in there, we're all in it together.

I'm finding it very stressful too. It so helps to know that I'm not alone! But my son is really putting us through our paces. We're going to family counselling on 5 Feb to see what to do. All my best wishes and prayers are with you tjh8I don't know how many times I've said either DS need meds or I do.

It's gonna be one or the other!

(Actually it's both, for I have my own situation to deal with.)

As for the loss issue, I wonder, too. We adopted DS when he was 7 months old, so he started life with a pretty big loss. In the last two years, we have also lost both of my parents and my brother, so I know stress plays a huge role for all of us.

Ask for and take any and all help you can get, that's my best advice!

Good luck!!
First of all, tjh8 sorry for your loss.  Raising an ADHD child is very difficult and going at it alone is unimaginable for me, so kudos to you.  I am moving closer & closer to feeling like I need some help myself, whether it just be counseling or maybe even meds to help with my stress & frustration levels.  I think a person can only handle so much on their own.  I do have my DH to go thru this with, but the stress of dealing with ADHD adds stress to the relationship also, which pushes me further into stress.  If you feel like you need some help or possibly the help of medication, it's maybe worth a try to see if it helps.