I haven't had to deal with this with my child, but I have had the parents of the kids I watch drag them in kicking and screaming with their clothes in the bag. The ones I watch are young and it only took a few times before they understood their parents were serious- I can only imagine it would work the first time for an elementery age child.
My parents always told us that if our rooms were clean and we were getting straight A's then we could skip a day once a quarter. Maybe a modified version of this would provide a little incentive, if she knew that meeting certain expectations would get her a special day with mom?
Bebop- it's harder when they're bigger! I used to watch my dad drag my brother to the car when he was 15. My dad would drop him off at school, watch him walk in the front door, and then my brother would walk out the back doors.
This might be too simple a solution, but my son was impossible to get to school in the morning, and I moved up his bedtime up an hour. His reluctance hasn't completely stopped, and also the teacher finally made a kid who was picking on him stop, but it's definitely better. I have a friend who has her daughter with ADHD go to bed really early for her age, and it helps her, too. Have you made sure your child is getting enough rest?
Good luck!
Corrina
One suggestion is to ask the teacher if you can come for a visiting day - spend the day there and see if you can get a handle on what's bothering her. Maybe it will help her to know you are there watching and with the teacher, are looking for ways that the three of you can make it a better experience. Maybe it's things like, she needs more rest times, a picture of you to remind her you are waiting at home, some fun activity during the worst time of day to get her over the hump. Make her part of the solution.edbson:
Glad my mom never came up with that idea!!!!!!
All I can say is that it was a really good thing that we lived only about a mile from the elementary school I went to. I did have lots of times that I did not want to go to school at all but mostly my problem was getting out the door on time. I was usually just late enough to miss the bus by moments.
I still have a problem getting out of the house on time. I'm not sure what the solution is but for me it seems to be a time perception thing or something. I look at the clock, say ok I've got an hour, then the next thing you know I only have a few minutes left and I've been lolly gagging thinking I have all kinds of time.
Maybe a count down kind of system might be something to try. Kind of let her know how much time is remaining.
I tell my 8 year old it is the law and it is all kids must go to school. I would also explore does your child have friends in school? See if the school can help bridge something a reason for wanting to go. You need to nip this now before they get to the teen years it will worsen trust me I see it on part of my caseload at work. Yes there are places Agencies out there to help parents.WOW- I was like this as a child. I would beg every single day- "Please don't make me go." My poor mother. I have to say, sometimes my mom was too exhausted to fight with me and she would let me stay home - probably about once every 8 weeks or so. That was probably why I kept resisting- because I knew I might get lucky. My kids are not like this at all- I am lucky that way. If they do stay home, even if they are sick- there is no tv, computer... Just reading and resting. (If they are really super-sick with a high fever... I bend the no TV rule.) So they never play sick on me- school is more fun than having to stay in bed all day.
My advice is stand tough and don't give in. Also, as others have suggested, try to find out if there is a problem that is giving her anxiety about school and deal with that- but in my personal experience, there wasn't anything wrong at school, other than the regular struggles an adhd kid faces- I just wanted to be at home.
My son refused to go to school one day - he's 14. He just sat on the couch and tantrumed. My husband had to yell really loud and physically pull him off the couch.
It's a tough one.
susan Riley,
does your child have friends? any struggles academically? What do YOU think is the reason?
How old??
When dd refused to get dressed and go to school I packed her clothes in her backpack, and brought her in her Jammies...she only did it once. oUR DAUGHTER IS 5 AND IT IS A DAILY STRUGGLE TO GET HER TO GO TO SCHOOL. iT'S ALWAYS "SCHOOL IS TOO LONG" OR "I'M TIRED" OR "I WILL MISS YOU" there are days I will admit I am so mentally exsausted that I just give in and let her stay home because when she goes it is fighting and screaming the whole way! I know just how you feel! GOOD LUCK!I have had issues with my 7 year old not wanting to go to school since day 1 of kindergarten. I have very strict rules about school. Unless he is running a fever of 101 or higher, throwing up, or has severe diarrhea, he's not coming home. He's constantly complaining that his stomach hurts. Usually, I can convince him that school is important enough to stay. I'm not saying it's not a daily struggle. This morning was especially difficult. He refused to listen to his father about taking his ADHD medication and ended up making both himself late for school and his father late for work. I wish I had better advice. The most important things I can tell you are to not give in and allow your child to stay home, and to make house rules about school and what medical conditions warrant staying home. Always mean what you say, and NEVER go back on your word about consequences for breaking the rules. The worst thing you can do is to break your routine.