Does the other child have ADHD too? A friend and I were just discussing the other day the fact that kids with adhd often seem drawn to each other. Which can just make for interesting situations when you have two kids with poor impulse control hanging out all the time. It could also account for the "whoppers" he's telling.
If you let the other mother know that you're uncomfortable with them sleeping outside do you think she would keep them in? Or are you worried that she would just let me anyway? Obviously the woman doesn't seem to have the best judgement, but sometimes people make poor choices when it comes to stuff like where they walk their dogs and vidoe games just because it hasn't occurred to them that anything bad could come from it. I wouldn't go overboard pointing out the dangers, but just let her know you're uncomfortable with it and see how she reacts. Personally, we live in a very safe neighborhood but I still don't let my kids sleep outside- if they got scared I wouldn't be able to hear them and my son is the type that would huddle up in the corner of the tent crying because he was too scared to come out and get me.
gutsy, I would probably not let him go. Your first priority is your child. My daughter had some friends in 4th grade, and they were up all hours and allowed to run around after dark....etc., .etc, I had to not allow her over there, as I was not comfortable with their home environment.
My 9yo son seems to gravitate towards kids who are not necessarily the best influence on him. Last year there was a kid at school who really brought out the worst in my son, and I was glad to see that he'd left the school this year.
However (you knew that was coming, LOL!), he's now all of a sudden 'best friends' with a boy who seems to be telling the most whopping lies! This kid is new at my son's school. Worse, the mother seems to be quite strange, although it's wrong of me to judge! We've walked home together the last few days. We were discussing The Sims 2 which both the kids are playing, she says to me 'my son likes to build kitchens just to burn them down' and then laughs. I don't find that funny! And then I have a story about how she bought a BM cash, left it parked at our local shopping centre and had it stolen as she was signing insurance - now that's not impossible but its very unlikely, and there is no insurance company there ... They've also given my son a disc with a computer game on, which the mother assured me had no age restriction, when my husband screened it he found the most violent computer game he has ever seen, with blood and gore and people hacking each other and age restricted to 18 - she is letting her 10 year old play this!!! My 9yo certainly is not going to.
They also walk their dog in the most unsavoury part of our neighbourhood, it's really not safe at all there for a woman and child and I've forbidden my son to go there if they should suggest it while he's with them.
So now I get to the crunch, my son's been invited to sleepover at their place. I invited the kid to our place last weekend and he just didn't pitch up, didn't let us know, nothing. I wouldn't have a problem except they've said they're going to camp out in the garden - I don't like that! They have a low fence, and there's just too much crime for me to feel comfortable with my son sleeping in a garden. It's a shame I know but there it is.
So what do I do? Say he can't go, or say he can go, but sleep inside, maybe just eat supper outside? And can I trust that will happen? My son is a good boy and he knows right from wrong but he's very easily influenced and I'm not sure if an adult told him it was okay that he would argue that I've told him not to. I'm really not sure I want him exposed so much to this family at all!
From experience Gutsy, I know exactly what you mean about the friends your child is attracted to. As jaderock54 said about 2 children together with poor impulse control, it won't end up well. As long as you can control the situation, do not let this happen. I know where this path lead for me and I don't want it to happen to anyone else. Take care.I wouldn't let my son go. Trust your "gut". If it were me, I would probably let my child go for a short playdate, but NOT a sleepover. The mother seems to show poor judgment and I would fear for my child's safety, as well as other issues. You can always make up an excuse.