Put my foot down with my mother | ADHD Information

I don't have a very healthy relationship with my mom to begin with, but her judgemental attitude about DS's ADHD has strained it more.  I really don't call her to talk anymore, but do my best to nuture her relationship with my kids.  I felt guilty for not calling, and decided to give her a quick hello. 

As usual she asks about DS, which is a good thing, until the it happens....the poking about ADHD.  She asks if I give him Melatonin as an antidote to the "stuff" I have him on.  "No mom, I don't....it helps him fall asleep.." explain for 100th time about SPD...blah, blah, blah...what the weighted blanket is etc etc etc.  Then she starts in with the well doesn't that "stuff" make him not sleep....we've had this conversation more times than I can remember.....DS has never been a good sleeper......used to kicked his crib until he fell asleep and destroyed it. SO then she asks what is the name of that "stuff" he's on now?  I just finally said, "You know mom, I'm not talking about medication anymore".  She was Godsmacked.  I repeated myself and the conversation wrapped up.  (I posted a couple months ago about a horrid fight with my sister all about DS being medicated and I know more than half of what my sister said came from my mother).  I can't tell you how liberating that felt.  That's it, I'm finally at that point where I just don't have interest in being judged and bullied by my family anymore and it feels great.  I just wanted to share my "emotional graduation" with you guys. 

Good for you!   Sounds like you knew just how to handle your mom. You go,
girl!


   My mother and sister have strong feelings regarding meds as well.  It is a good feeling when you can finally make them understand that it's not up for "discussion" anymore.According to my mother I never do anything right. negative negative negative I don't tell her anything about the add anymore, ever!  Congrats to you twodoodles!Kudos to twodoodles!  Sometimes it is hard to stand up to loved ones for what you believe or know to be true, but it is liberating!!! I can relate. 

Yea for you!!!!!!

I wish that I could be assertive with my mother too. She only has negative remarks about our choice to medicate our son.  Nothing ever positive comes out of her mouth. I have had to distance myself also. Dealing with a child that has ADHD, OCD, ODD and sensory issues is difficult enough without having to tolerate my mothers behavior. Don't I feel guilty enough?

So, I can totally sympathaize with you.

Woohooo! It will be so much better when you just decline to discuss it with them. Helped me tremendously!Wow, I thought I was alone with not getting along with family.  But not all of it has to do with DD's ADHD.  That's another story. 

I can totally relate!  My mom was very judgmental and unforgiving about my son's behavior when he was small.  She would say things like, "his so-called sensory problems" and "don't tell me that he's wired differently!"  She questioned our parenting all of the time, including asking me if my sweet husband had shaken him as a baby!!  OMG, I couldn't believe it.  She did NOT believe in ADHD, either, and she had been a teacher!  How scary is that?  I finally had a number of take-charge conversations with her until she got it.  She's a control freak and I usually avoided confrontation with her -- she can dish it out, but she can't take it!  Anyway, it's SUCH a great feeling, isn't it?  That was a real graduation point for me, too.  I think that it affected many areas of my life where I had been attached to her approval -- don't need that any more, thank you!!  I hope that it lightens your load as well!