Advice from the ADD children | ADHD Information

We're different, not disabled.
I've seen the comments about a lot of ADD kids having high IQs. If we're so smart, why won't you just ask us how you can help us? That was the best way my parents ever helped with managing my ADD. They frequently sat down and talked to me about it, asked me what I thought would help. I was involved with managing my ADD from the start, and that more than anything, helped me get control.

I mean absolutely no offense to anyone on this forum, but every post I've read, it's been about how much help children with ADD need just to function. But I have yet to see a single person mention having gotten input from those same children. It's possibly the biggest mistake a parent can make, I think.

Lupius, thank you for posting this, you are right of course.

However, keep in mind many of these parents are speaking of children who are 5, 6, 7 years old, our role to them and ALL our children is to help and guide them. They dont know yet how to do things. I happen to agree somewhat with you for oler children though. Then again, the last time I asked my daughter to tell me the biggest thing I could do that would help her, she said "leave me alone and let me do it myself, I can get myself up and ready for school without being "nagged"". So  the next day when I casually walked by her room 15 minutes AFTER she was supposed to get up, she was still sleeping , she forgot step one........... to set her alarm). She does need me and my prompting at this point.

What a great reminder!  That's awesome that your parents included you in the process of managing your adhd. 

I have gotten very valuable insight from my son regarding what works for him and what doesn't (as, I'm sure, have most other parents on here).  He's almost 10 so he's become more and a more a part of the process, especially when it comes to what motivates him and what consequences he should have for getting into trouble.  

I do have to add, though, that he was no help whatsoever with this stuff before he was medicated.  He had a lot of difficulty organizing his thoughts enough to get them out in a way that made sense to the rest of us (or in the proper order).  When we would try to talk to him he would get frustrated because he couldn't express himself and it would end with him upset and refusing to say anything. 

Also, people tend to post on here when they're having trouble, not so much when things are going well.  It's hard for a hyper, impulsive, easily distracted child to offer much helpful insight (although many of them do), especially when they are on the younger side.  I think once parents have found an effective treatment plan for the their child that the child's level of involvement increases even further. 

 

Actually, my DD does have input in her treatment plan, and her IEP. I ask her what will help her, if the meds help etc. I agree that it is important for the kids to be involved, especially once they reach an age of understanding what helps and what doesn't.

HI I think your parents were great for including you but my 8 year old who has intelligence but the emotional mentality of a 5 year old has a lot of difficulty expressing himself.  As he gets older I hope he can be included int he decision making processes. I'm not saying that kids that young are capable of making their own decisions or being self-sufficient. Even if they can't be trusted yet to have a real say in what goes on, just keep them in the loop and let them know what's going on with it.
I don't know if it's true of everyone with ADD, but probably the most frustrating thing about it when I was first diagnosed was not understanding why I needed so much help and special treatment. It's a lot easier to figure out how to fix something if you understand what's wrong in the first place.