4-year old bouncing off the walls | ADHD Information

My son's been diagnosed with adhd at the age of 2 1/2 and so far he's
been his hyper little self but his environment has been able to cope with
him. He's not on any meds and I don't really want him to go on anything
because I know what it's like being on Ritalin etc, having adhd myself.
And personally, I've got a rather positive view of adhd: being creative, lots
of energy, imagination, exurbant etc. Those are all traits that are not
negative and make him special. So instead of looking for something to
'cure' or 'control' him, we find ways to help him manage situations in
which he struggles. We also help him with expressing his feelings, which
brings me to my problem.

Here in New Zealand the new school year has just started. And the
preschool he goes to is just fantastic with him. They make allowances for
his energy and creativity. And I'm really grateful to them, because it takes
extra effort and time on their part.

Today though he had one of his very excitable days, literally bouncing off
the walls at preschool. So much that the headmaster thought it would be
good to get him re-assessed. Which I'm fine with. Assessment helps to
find his strengths and areas in which he is not coping well.

I'm wondering though if others have had similar problems with
preschoolers, but more importantly what they did when their kids are
bouncing off the walls :-)

So far the changes in routines and lifestyle are: nutrition (no artificial
additives & preservatives, whenever possible organic), fish oil (eye-Q
liquid which his high in EPA), lots of motivation, punishment only for
purposely defiant actions (time out), otherwise helping him and showing
him alternative ways to react/express/handle situation, ignoring
tantrums, reward system, limited tv (max half hour a day if at all), lots of
playtime with playdough, lego and crafts which he loves, daily routine but
with allowances in time for impulsive ideas (going to beach, doing
something together) and last but not least, I'm on ritalin to keep me 'in
check' and 'under control'. Though I have to admit I hate taking it. I like
being impulsive and creative, though household and finance don't. (PS
sounds like perfect parenting when I read this, but I'm not, sometimes I
really struggle keeping my cool and I do yell at him sometimes when it
gets too much. Plus our household is rather chaotic :-)

Problems for us: 1) time out doesn't impress him at all. It's the most
boring place you could imagine - the hallway, all doors closed, no
furniture and no windows, and the light turned on. All he can do there is
sit down or roll around on the floor. But the only thing he wants to know
is how long he has to be there and then he'll go there and sing songs or
whatever. So time out is more a place to calm down for him. 2)
frustrations - if something doesn't work (for example lego) he can get
into such a rage and throw everything around and hit the closest person
or dog near him.

Any ideas on how to deal with these frustrations? I want to show him how
to do it differently or help him find his own solution, but first I need to
get him to calm down. He's in such a rage that holding or hugging him
results in getting hit and bitten, leaving him be and the furniture gets
thrown around. Sometimes I drag him into time out (hallway) but then
he'll just bang his head on the walls in frustration.

Are there any other ways of punishing him for doing something naughty
on purpose, since time out doesn't seem to have that effect? Taking toys
away doesn't bother him either. He'll just shrug his shoulders and say
that he doesn't want it anyway, which at that time is true. He's not
interested in it at the time, so he doesn't really care what happens to it.
Even the reward system has limited results. Although the rewards are
things he really likes having, he sometimes just isn't interested in gaining
another star. He's a really strongwilled little personality who really knows
what he wants (at the time). Bribing doesn't work either :-)

What I'm going to change from tomorrow, instead of driving him to
preschool we'll walk there. It's about a 20 minute walk, and that might
help him work of his excessive energy. Plus I'm going to try doing some
yoga with him this afternoon (ahem, we'll see how THAT goes :-) Doing
the Tree Pose, Rocking the Boat, Playing Dead Bug, or so. I've got this
book which I'm looking at with ideas.

Parenting ideas and techniques and ideas for how preschool could cope
would be great!In his case the adhd is pretty obvious and there's a strong family
history on both sides of the family including me and my husband. He's
getting reassessed soon, but the problem in New Zealand is that for one
there aren't many medication options that we have: Rubifen, Ritalin,
Ritalin SR and Concerta. But even worse is that there is no information
and support here. Understandable in a way, with only 4 million people.
There are about 3000 on medication which I know because to get adhd
medication you have to get registered because of the drug classification.

We're also looking at nutrittion as I mentioned: no artificial colourants,
flavourings, additives or preservatives. And organic whenever possible.

We're also doing a lot in the way of encouraging and focussing on his
strenghts and helping him cope with struggles. But... he's only four.
Tantrums etc are sure to be normal for his age. Still, we do have a lot
more on our plate than other families. Not much support from the
outside (more like stares, frowns and in extreme cases telling us to leave
the playground etc). Said that, most of the time when I can go with his
flow, life is really good and fun.

I forgot to take meds today, as you can probably tell with my post :-)

I'm just hoping for ideas here to do with him. What worked for other
mums at this age. Any suggestions?

I would be really grateful!

well you are right that at 4 a LOT of this is typical behavior. Although with an ADHD child it goes to the extreme. I had a very "spirited" 4 year old. She is now turning 6 and not diagnosed ADHD. Truthfully, if she was "in a mood" I wouldnt even take her places. For tantrums, our BEST trick was not dealing with them. I always brought her to her room. She didnt break things though, so for your son it may have to the time out room. He wont bang hs head hard enough to hurt himself. Any tantrum, in she'd go I'd tell her that is not how we behave OR handle these situations. When she was "done" and calm she could come out and we'd talk about it. Now sometimes I had to drag her there kicking and screaming, other times she'd pull it together then try to come out all full of fire ready to go at it, I'd calmly look at her (as she is flipping it) and say, no you're not ready to join the family and put her back. I spent hours on occasion with this back and forth. Then when she was calm, we always talked about how she reacted, the outcome and what she could've done. It helps using her room as she has toys to play with and can get out of that spinning anger. Any time, she showed self control and handled her frustration I made a HUGE deal out of it and showed her that was the perfect way to do it. My family laugh, she'll get upset now and look at everyone and say "ok, I  have to take a deep breath" and big dramatic breath, it's hysterical, but it works! We read lots of childrens books on emotions and feeling great series "Let's Talk About ___________" and there's about 6 of them and it's saying No, feelign angry, feeling sad.....etc" Number one key, do not engage him during a tantrum. You can calmly say you wont talk about it until he is calm, then walk away.

School is harder. Do they have aids in the class? Sometimes a walk can turn things around. Read the Book Carol Kranowitz, The Out of Sync Child. Not saying he has SPD, but some of her "excercises" are great for calming and may help to spend a half hour before school doing some, like jumping on a trampoline, or spinning, or swlnging really high.

Good luck!

HI

Wow have we similar lives or what

 

I'm in London and have a twin of you son and to be honest exactly the same problems. We had our son assessed and they recommended the book Magic 123 by Dr Whelan, infact 2 places recommended it for adhd children. sorry got to dash but the walking  to school is a good idea.

my sister too - did the "put in the room" thing until calm.  worked EXTREMELY well to my surprise (but again it was a girl not a boy and perhaps girls have more self-preservation qualities re. head-banging?).   and a similar system to ogram's marble system really helped too (was pennies in a jar but same principle, i think) and appealed to her visual sense and competitive nature. 

now she is 6 it is  a whole lot better, so it CAN pass, - also never put on meds and lots of work with being super careful over foods/breathing and semi-hashed/buddhist anger management techniques etc. etc. plus extremely harsh consequences (which probably sound awfully mean if i were to put them down here... but they worked too) also her schoolteacher was FANTASTIC made all the difference, i think.  and nice, settled peers at school probably helped too.

lots of sorta vaguely buddhist discussions about the importance of "happy" thoughts and "positive" brain waves --- have NO idea whether that had the slightest impression or not.  but she is a remarkably different and surprisingly happy child now - could just be time that did it.  she is also extremely intelligent (kinda prodigious, whether it'll last or not i don't know) - so that mighta helped.

but if it helps - i think 4 was absolutely when she was at her WORST.

good luck. 

chjones39498.6286226852I would have himn re evlauted in a few years. A diagnosis made at 2 1/2 is iffy at best, and cannot be entirely accurate. Diet changes help tremendously, no preservatives, no artificial colors or flavors, gluten free etc. It does wonders.