So frustrated - destructive child | ADHD Information

Boy, do I know how you feel. My 6 year old dd was the same way. She
outgrew it slowly, but sometimes she will still scribble on her walls. She has
taken all the drawer pulls off her dresser (when she was 3) and lost them, of
course. There are lots of things she has destroyed (my older dd locks her
door and takes the key with her when she is out of the house and little sis is
home), but she is getting better, thank goodness. I think because they have
to be so busy all of the time that they just ruin things without thinking.
Frustrating, I know. This should get better as your dd gets older. (If she has
ADHD, remember she is approx 20% behind her peers in maturity level.)

Hang in there! Boy can I relate! My son has put scratches in wood, cut cords to lamps, games, cut holes in clothes, taken apart anything with screws, the list goes on. I know consequences are important, but I think there is something going on inside - like boredom and anxiety, that make kids act out like this. My son in on Concerta and we added Zoloft a few months ago and Tenex more recently. In additon, I got him a ton of things to occupy him - he has an MP3 player, a ton of legos and erector sets, jigsaw puzzles, wood and screws, etc. If he has something to do, he's fine. He too, has done things to car seat, seat belts, etc. and I have to stay two steps ahead and make sure he is occupied. Many kids can sit patiently, but these kids are driven in a way that is hard to understand. You might try new different stuff to stay busy, and I know the Tenex has helped my son relax a little and make better decisions. Good luck - it's scary sometimes when you see the damage they can cause.  What is her diagnosis? She is on alot of meds for a 5yo.

I am so frustrated right now I could scream   My daughter is 5, she is on 70mg Vyvanse (just barely increased 2 days ago from 50mg) 50mg Sertraline (Zoloft, just barely increased this from 25mg 2 days ago as well) and she takes 7.5mg Remeron at night to help her sleep.  She just started seeing a psychiatrist 1 month ago THANK HEAVENS!  She also just started behavioral therapy, although I am not sure how I feel about this quite yet, we'll see.

My frustration is that she is very destructive.  Today I found out that she has started scraping the tinted window where she sits in my "new" 2004 Jeep Liberty I just bought last July.  It is a very small scrape, but it's there.  She has also started digging a hole into the seat where the seat belt latches... you can't see it, but it's there.  She is constantly ruining something of mine, my husband's or my older 17 year old daughter's.  We are all at our wits end   She has destroyed so many things I am not sure if I could remember them all, I need to start making a list of what I can remember.

Does anyone have any children who are destructive?  What do you do about it?  I'm seriously at my wits end.  It's getting to the point where I am going to be taking EVERYTHING out of her bedroom except the necessities.  I have to hide scissors, pens, anything she can get her hands on.

I am hoping that the increase in the meds will help.  The psychiatrist said if her behavior hasn't changed (she's extremely defiant) he wants to put her on Buspirone 2x a day...anyone have experience w/ this?

Thanks for listening.  I'm just so frustrated I could scream.

I would give her a consequence for it a natural one for instance if she has money saved make her pay for things.  Another way is every time she destroys someone's property make her give up something of hers of your choosing not hers to make her feel the loss.  That is a start or make her fix it if possible.  I would also talk to the professional for other advice. Yes, I would, and DO. BUT I see so many people who have never had an eval for their child, only a ped saying "oh he has this", and have them on too many meds that I had to ask. It could be the mix of meds causing her issues.

[QUOTE=edbson]Yes, I would, and DO. BUT I see so many people who have never had an eval for their child, only a ped saying "oh he has this", and have them on too many meds that I had to ask. It could be the mix of meds causing her issues. [/QUOTE]

I mentioned in the beginning she is seeing a psychiatrist, had a full evaluation done by him and the dx by him as well.   He's actually a brilliant dr. and knows his meds and we are trying to get the meds right now w/ her to get them "right".

I did not say you had not, but I see kids everyday who are medicated without a proper eval. I DID NOT say you were one of them.

 

Getting the meds right will help alot, it is usually one of the keys to successful treatment.

Do you think she has sensory integration?

Did you find the med increase help? you should know the first day of the increase. I just wondered if you the meds are correct for her?

It took us 6 months to find the right one and right dose with the help of a psychopharmacologist. Believe me the right med is out there, you just have to be patient and keep trying.

She is young but my son should have been on meds at 5, it would have made things better for him. I understand what you are going through.

Hang in there and keep posting!!

[QUOTE=edbson]What is her diagnosis? She is on alot of meds for a 5yo. [/QUOTE]  Her dx is ADHD (severe) and ODD, with a lot of OCD, Anxiety, Irritability and Insomnia mixed in.  Yes she's on 3 diffferent kinds of meds but you do what you do what you have to do for your children, wouldn't you??[QUOTE=BETHANN]

Do you think she has sensory integration?

Did you find the med increase help? you should know the first day of the increase. I just wondered if you the meds are correct for her?

It took us 6 months to find the right one and right dose with the help of a psychopharmacologist. Believe me the right med is out there, you just have to be patient and keep trying.

She is young but my son should have been on meds at 5, it would have made things better for him. I understand what you are going through.

Hang in there and keep posting!!

[/QUOTE]

Hi Bethann, thanks for replying.  I definitely feel like she has sensory integration issues.  She is very sensitive to loud noises, she cannot stand it if her socks are not on just perfect, the tags in her shirts drive her crazy (thank heavens for the tagless clothing now), her shoes have to fit just right (I finally got rid of her shoes that had laces, she couldn't get them tight enough) she has a very high pain tolerance.

I have not found that the increase has helped.  In fact, she has woken up the past 2 nights around 2am.  She's gone back to sleep but has woken up nonetheless.

I am wondering if the Vyvanse isn't for her.  She tried Concerta at first but it didn't seem like it did a thing.  She will be 6 in June.

The psychiatrist gave me an rx for Buspirone (an anti-anxiety med) to give to her if I didn't see a change w/in a week of the increase.  She's extremely irritable and rotten all the time (well there are moments throughout the day that she seems to be ok but can change in an instant.)

 

My son has sensory integration. he felt NO pain as a toddler. He got kicked in the face by a teenager on a swing. Left him with a foot mark on his face and he never cried. he eventually outrgrew that.

All the sensory stuff changes. They learn to tolerate and deal with and then a new one comes around!

My son has been successful with concerta AND tenex (guanfacine) which helps with anxiety, it relaxes him. It is the frosting on the cake of his meds. Just thought I would mention it since it has worked wonders for my adhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhd son!

You should know after the first day or two of the vyvanese if it is helping her. If not, then there is another one to try for her!! hang in there. It is very stressful fro all involved! We only want the best for our childre.

BETHANN39497.1068518519

mondih831,

in comment to your  comment about her irritablilty and  sometimes rotten ways...Just a thought here but recently I attended a parent seminar at my son's school and the speaker was affiliated with a group called Smart Discipline.  They have a program that they claim will work with both ad/hd children and children without this disability.  It looked to be pretty easy to use.  They have a website.  I just googled "Smart Discipline" and came across it. 

I also wonder about the Vyvanse for your daughter.  I think I agree with Bethanne that there is something that is out there for your daughter it is just a matter of working with the doctors and finding the right thing.

Also as far as the sensory issues go...my son was the same way early on...he still has some of the issues but has grown out of most...we considered an occupational therapist.  I understand they have ways to work with children with severe sensory disorders.  Not sure if this is what  your daughter needs or not but it is just another thought.

Take care

4myson39496.7724652778I'm not sure why all the questions to you, it sounds to me like you are doing all the right things and you are in that awful "waiting" place to see if the therapy helps and if the Psych can tweak the meds for the whole trial and error thing. I commend you for doing this at age 5 - so many kids suffer because they don't get the help and the meds until later. My son has had a slew of diagnoses and now I just tell people it's a mixed bag - the key is the write combo of meds. For my son it's mostly ADHD, anxiety, and some depression. It's amazing how how the meds to help with the depression and the anti-anxiety meds help with the anger. He now seems happy and enjoying life. The symptms of ODD are still there, but much, much less. Good luck to you on this jouney. All phases come to an end and the good ones are worth working for!

I just logged on here to see if I could find anyone else having this same issue of their child being so destructive. I am at witts end. My son has ADHD, anxiety, sensory processing disorder, a sleep disorder and an eating disorder,, WHEW<,,,,

Without going into his whole story, I will just say that he has cut a huge hole in his window scree, put many many fist sized holes in the drywall of his room (Our home is less than 5 years old),, cut up or bit holes in many shirts,, bit holes in his PS2 controller cords until they no longer work, PEED all over his room even tho his restroom is right next to his bedroom,,, Broken and dismanteled every toy and everything in sight. He seems to do this without really thinking. Sometimes it is in rages,, usually that is between meds. But he is on Zoloft and the Daytrona patch right now,, and he is still being destructive. We have tried so many meds.

We are seeing a Physical Therapist for his Sensory Integration Disfunction,, but so far it has not helped.

I wish I could help you. All I can say is,, when you feel like you want to give up,,, and are in tears (Which is why I logged on here tonight),,, remember that your daughter depends on you. Whatever you do,, don't give up trying to find what works for her. I have to remind myself,, that my parents never even tried to get me the help I needed,, and it had a huge impact on my life. I will never give up trying.

I find it hard to know how to disipline for such things,,, I don't have a clue what to do !

PM me if you want to chat,, I really understand what you are going through. So so frustrating.

Hang in there

Christy

trai-seeker,

Hi there!!

How old is your son? Mine too as adhhhhd, anxiety, sensory integration. He also has a speech delay, which is probably just as bad as his adhd when he is not medicated.

We are successful on concerta and guanfacine. My son is 12.

have you had your son evaluated for bipolar? The thing with bipolar is the adhd meds won't work until you address the bipolar first. Then you go back and address the adhd. And all is smooth. Do you think that there is any depression involved?

Just wanting to help!!

trail-seeker, another quick question - is his eating disorder due to no appetite with the meds OR is he not eating or over eating as a control thing?

Again, how old is he?