In denial......ADHD and Pregnancy.

Hi,

I am an expectant mother to be. My partner has ADHD but refuses to admit it. I am finding it increasingly harder to stay calm with his behaviour. Since finding out that we were expecting, he has opened up a litle more but in general does not want to talk about it. I am all ready to support him and help in what ever way i can (having suffered with depression myself i feel i can be very helpful, knowing when to back off etc....). Anyway, i suppose what i am looking for really is advise from any partners who have been in my position. My doctors are not happy with how stressed i am all the time and fear it will effect the baby after its birth.

If anyone can she dsome lght as to how i can get him to help himself without annoying him i would be truely appreciative. We are both very excited about our new arrival but i know i am not in for an easy ride. His moods are the worst and coping with a new born to me is going to be full time enough.

Eims

Tough one Eims. If he doesn't admit the problem it's unlikely he'll get help for it. Same as anything - it starts from within.

Perhaps get him to take an ADHD test. There are several online - the best ones I can think of are at www.oneaddplace.com. Print one out and get him to take it - ask him to be honest with his answers.

Sometimes just seeing it on paper helps. If he admits he may have ADHD the next step would be a referral from his GP to see a psychologist who can diagnose and maybe prescribe meds and therapy to guide him further.

The only other thing I can think of is to give him an ultimatum - either he goes and gets help of he'll have limited accessibility to you and the child from now on. Tough love is sometimes required for your (and your child's) protection.

Hi Glen,

Thank you so much for your reply. I will try the web test and see how we go. I feel, i have hit a brick wall and i need to resolve as much as possible before the new arrival!!

Once again, thank you. It is comforting to know this board is here.

Eims

Do get him to answer the questions. As a life-long ADHDer (I've been described as being so bad that I'm sometimes just a signature away from being sent for life-long vacation lol) I can see what's going on and it hurts to see someone else's spouse having to go through what I've put mine through.

For your own sake stick to any decisions you make and make them about your well being.

I do wish you both well in this.

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