All going wrong again, help!! | ADHD Information

sorry this is so long but i really do need advice, the first bit of this in red is my previous post:

Hi, Please can someone give me some advice, my son is 8 and has ADHD/TOURETTES/AUTISM

He was taking RITALIN up until a month ago, he lost too much weight on this and his behaviour was getting increasingly worse.He is now on 10mg of Equasym in the mornings to help him in the school day and then 25mg of STRATTERA in the evenings.My problem is the school, last year he was getting on really great he had 22 hours one to one LSA support, reward stickers for anytime he was trying hard with reading, writing, sitting still at carpet time, listening to instructions etc.Now that he is in his fourth year they have decided to take away his one to one support as they feel 'he needs to live in the real world' he is now getting behind with his work, disrupting the class and slowly losing his confidence. He has not had any reward stickers and all that he is getting in his contact book that he brings home for me to sign is bad reports, e.g:

"Liam you must not talk during tests!""Don't forget to listen to the whole of the instructions from the teacher before you start work"!"Do not blame other people for things that you have done!""stop talking its not your ADHD"!"stop pulling those silly faces its not your TOURETTES"!"that writing is disgusting do it again"!

Is it me or are they just being so negative towards him, when told to stop pulling silly faces it just makes his tics ten times worse!ADHD children have such low self esteem as it is, he cries everyday saying he hates school.If he cries for me at school they say to him "if you cry again i will send you to the headteacher!!

I am at a loss at what to do, i even sent in some information i printed off the net about ADHD this week and this is the reply i got from the class teacher:

I ACKNOWLEDGE RECEIPT OF SHEETS-THANKYOU. I FELT THEY WERE A TAD REDUNDANT AS WE HAVE ALL BEEN TRAINED- I HAVE AN MA IN SEN. BUT THANKYOU-ALL KNOWLEDGE IS USEFUL.

If this is the case then why the hell are they treating my son like this!!!!!!!!!Please someone give me advise asap before i really lose the plot!

This was my previous post and I recieved some great replies. I took my DS psychiatrist in for a meeting with the school and to put it mildly she went mad at them! 

Things were going good for a few weeks, they were more patient with him, (still no stickers tho) more understanding with his prolems etc and he settled down more.

His behaviour at home was becoming increasingly worse, more aggressive, decreased appetite, poor concentration etc, so we took him off of the equasym, (RITALIN did this before)has made a lot of difference so was a good move to make.

The problem now is the school again!!!

They are still shouting at him to get on with his work, threatening to send him to the head, shouting at him for fiddling with pencils on his desk, not sitting still, talking (even though all the other children are aswell!)

Ds has told me that the LSA (who has been fine with him up until yr 4) has now started to address the other children in the class by saying "everybody how many times have i asked liam to do this" surely this is humilliation, he is so upset!!

He has had a fight at school this week, him and another child were pusing each other around in the playground and he was sent to the head. who told him she didn't care what was wrong with him if this behaviour carried on he would be expelled!

I have been so upset by all this I sent in a note in his contact book:

Liam is not like a normal child due to his ADHD/TOURETTES and therefore is not able to function the same and cannot be expected to concentrate all the time and not fidget for the whole school day. No amount of shouting and negativity will change this.

His Lsa read this in front of DS and then huffed and said "I am sick to death of this"!! and then stomped off to the senco

I have now been summonsed to the heads office next week and do not really know what to say. I am not happy with all the shouting and I do not want this LSA working with him anymore but am not sure if I am able to make this choice?

I have contacted a local special needs school and they are over the limit in their year four classes and cannot accomodate him.

I understand that he has to follow rules and get his work done and 'live in the real world' but we all know with ADHD that this is harder for them to deal with and I just feel that they are not supporting him in the correct way, and shouting at him will not get them anywhere, he just gets frustrated or switches off ( I think a lot of adults would feel like this!!)

It doesn't help that the LSA's in mainstream schools are just mums at the school that have no training or experience with ADHD/TOURETTES or have read any information about it, this includes the head, so how are they supposed to support him if they do not understand the problems he has to face!

Please help me with any advice

Boy, what a horrible situation he (and you) is in. This LSA is a terrible person to be working with your son and I would make sure that gets changed. Fight that as high up the cahian as you have to go. no one should ever belittle a child, especially the one to one being paid to assist him .

As far as his meds, have you thought about using Strattera alone? My daughter doesnt have Tourettes, but does get tics from stimulants. She is now taking Strattera and is getting by fairly well on this alone, for now. No tics and anxiety is WAY down. They are able to keep her on task more, it's curnign her symtpoms enough without all the side effects (for us).

Does your son have an IEP?  To me they are stepping on his rights and blaming him for things he cannot control.  I would take this issue higher and address it with the Superintendent of the schools maybe get some legal advisement.

I am asking this question in a loving way: "Would it be so bad if he is expelled from this school?" If he is, wouldn't the school system have to find other accommodations for your son? Do you work? If not, could you have the school system find a tutor? His behavior at home may be a result of medication or it may be a result of his frustration from school.

What are his symptoms of tourettes without meds? Is it just tics or is it uncontrollable and repetitive speech? My son, also 8, was using repetitive speech and his behavior was horrible, so we took him off his meds. I am not saying to do this; always talk to his doctors; but at this time would your son's behavior be much worse? Perhaps he could be re-evaluated while the meds are out of his system. Turns out my son was taking major meds for over 4 years and he was misdiagnosed. You can look at the thread: Took 8 y/o off meds.

You also need some support. Is there family that you can talk to or who can give you a break for a few hours or even go to the doctor and/or school with you?

Write letters: even copy and paste your posts here and send them to ALL your lawmakers and ask for help.

Also, your son is normal- he reacts to stimuli differently than other children. Keep telling yourself and your son this until you both believe it. It can make a world of difference.

God bless.

That's awful!!
I know you tried giving the teacher information on ADHD before (and it didn't do any good), but what about arranging a brief meeting and giving her information on how to work with kids with ADHD and autism? And if she tries to say she knows all about it, you can then ask why the techniques aren't being used.
When the psychiatrist went to the meeting with you, did she make specific recommendations? Are they written down somewhere? That way you could refer to the recommendations and "remind" the teacher and LSA of them.
Could the psychiatrist contact the school again?
Is there any higher authority you can go to?
Is there any way you can change your son to a different class or different school??
Good luck.
Wow - what an utter mess. I'm so sorry sammi, that's really ugly all
around. I'm glad you have a good psychiatrist in your corner, at least
that's going right and you have support there, confirming that the school
is screwing this up.

This really sounds like a squeaky wheel kind of situation - very stressful
for you - but if he's to stay in this school, you have to be his advocate,
daily if need be. You say you were summoned to the head's office - but
maybe you can flip that around a bit - HE (or she) is working for you.
They are your employees for the moment, you entrust your son to them -
and they are messing up big time.    You are going in to tell them in no
uncertain terms how unacceptable their behavior has been. Do not let
them make you feel bad or intimidated here - you are in the right, they
are mistreating your child and failing in their duties.

I'm not a confrontative person, but this is your child - summon that fierce
mama bear inside (that's how I always feel about that part in me that
while I'd normally let someone walk all over me, I won't tolerate that for
my child). I'd strive to be calm and exceedingly correct with them - not
angry, but have that strength inside you, so that you stay firm.

I wonder too if things do go towards being expelled if you might be able
to write a letter to the newspaper, school board (if you have such a body
- you're in the UK I take it?), etc - making as public as possible the ways
in which your child was failed by this school. The school can not behave
like that in this day and age without consequences.

Hi Diane V, thank for your reply, his tics did start when he was first on the Ritalin it is unclear whether he truly has TOURETTES although the psychiatrist has diagnosed this, it is calling out noises and eye twitching, throat clearing, I have noticed that since we have taken him off of the equasym his eye twitching has stopped. We have been refferred to a proffessor in ADHD who specialises in the meds so hopefully he can help out more.

Randyjim: thanks for your reply, no it probably wouldn't be a bad thing if he was to be expelled, the school clearly cannot cope with a child with ADHD, there have been only two other children in the last two years and both of them have been expelled also. The school would never admit to not being able to support these children for fear of it reflecting badly on them, it's a joke!

As for family, my mum passed away a couple of years ago and my dad who seperated from her years ago doesnt believe there is a problem just that I am bringing my children up wrong (my DD is 11 and has ADHD also, and My other DS is two) at the moment he will not allow them over to see him until they start behaving a school, but thats a whole different story!! My sister has two babies of her own and my brother who has the same views as my dad has just had a baby also, so no I haven't, dont get me wrong my husband is a great support but he works and is also studying the london knowledge (black cabs) so he is under a lot of pressure anyway.

I do believe my DS is normal, I just hate the way he is being treated and was really angry when I sent the note into school.

inspiredbymusic, thanks for your reply, I am going to send information in again to them until they get the message!!

The psychiatrist's recommendations were to get more LSA hours, the head actually sat there and laughed at her saying he was lucky to get the hours he did have!

I have not had any feedback from this meeting either and even she said that it was like hitting a brick wall talking to them!

I can go to higher people yes, I think this will be the only way to go, if he didn't have so many friends I would have taken him out ages ago

Jillette, thanks for your reply: he does have an IEP and I couldn't agree with you more, time to for action!

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