I have 2 questions. | ADHD Information

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[QUOTE=BPQW]

< =text/>_popupControl(); I completely disagree with Dr. Levine's "demystification" process, which sounds to me like it really "mystifies" something that should be pretty straightforward.

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I just finished reading Dr. Levine's The Myth of Laziness and I loved it and found it absolutely fascinating, but I must admit that I find the above list a little confusing too. Maybe it really needs to be seen in context.
To me "demystification" just means explaining to a person (or child) what is causing them to have difficulty with learning in a way that lets them understand that they are not "stupid" or "lazy" or "bad."

[QUOTE=BPQW] < =text/>_popupControl(); Also, my son loved the "Percy Jackson and the Olympians" trilogy of books, because Percy (short for Perseus) is a modern day kid who has adhd and he's a hero AND he finds out he's Zeus's son. Pretty neat stuff. [/QUOTE]
My daughter loves those too!!! They might be a little too old for an 8-year-old though.

quixote - I personally can't stand Curious George - even as a kid he made
me anxious. But my daughter loves him - I don't think so much as a hero,
but maybe more like as a kindred spirit.

I thought of another wonderful book - a biography no less! "The Dalai
Lama" by Demi - is such an amazing story anyway, and a gentle introduction
to the real-life struggles of Tibet, but she also makes no bones about how
when he was little the current Dalai Lama was a "holy terror" to his teachers
and describes some of his antics, which I think to any ADHD families will be
very familiar. Now he's someone who is a real hero!Okiemom, great explanation, and I hope I didn't come across as critical before. I think Dr. Levine's approach is wonderful and I'm looking forward to reading more of his. It is confusing to read it out of context, and I'm sorry to post the list without further explanation. My fault.  This list doesn't just apply to a ADHD discussion, it applies more to discussions on learning differences, which many of our ADHD children have. The references Levine makes to "class discussions" are not about telling a classroom about a child's ADHD.....I think that item relates to when a whole classroom is being taught about learning differences and how most people have "breakdown points" (weaknesses).  I think Mel Levine's "Schools Attuned" program, which is used by many districts, does this type of education.

 Demystification relates to a process of explanation of all sorts of learning challenges and wiring differences, not just ADHD.  From the books I have (and loved).... the Myth of Laziness, All Kind of Minds, and Ready Or Not Here Life Comes...... Levine seems to be big on not labeling, and big on testing to uncover the strengths and weaknesses in their processing abilities.  For example......... you wouldn't label the child ADHD in discussions with him, but you would explain (in simple terms of course)  his strengths and weaknesses and where the weaknesses can be strengthened ...example short term memory, language, whatever the issue.  From what I've read....most kids with the dx ADHD, including my own, have an assortment of processing weaknesses........my son has language and auditory processing issues, plus executive function weaknesses in planning and organization.  But he's got some really good strengths too....so when we explained things to him, we pointed those out first, but clearly and in simple terms explained his weak areas and what we were going to do to help him overcome  and/or compensate for them.

Unfortunately........ it's nearly impossible, if you are doing public education, to not "label" a child ADHD.  Its necessary to get the IEP.  But the conversations, in my opinion, with the child should point out that ADHD does not define the child and who he is.  I strongly agree with Levine on this.  Its hard to teach a concept like this to the younger ones....... but the older ones do learn to understand it over time as they mature.



Okiemom

< =text/>_popupControl(); I completely disagree with Dr. Levine's "demystification" process, which sounds to me like it really "mystifies" something that should be pretty straightforward. The idea that the parents shouldn't be the ones to tell a child about adhd is, to me, ludicrous. I specifically disagree with numbers 1,5, and 12.  A child's adhd should NEVER be discussed in a class setting. Why not just paint the child purple and put a target on his back?! Once kids know someone is different, they will either ostracize that child or take on a parent/teacher role which is completely inappropriate for successfully socializing an adhd child.  As for praise, our kids know where they have trouble. Praising them for overcoming those problems, which are typically things other children do with ease, is vital to their motivation.  They need that,"Yes! I did it!" moment. And allowing another person to tell your child what is "wrong" with them, for something other than an ear infection or the like, creates all kinds of problems for me. I don't want my child looking to other people for validation. If there is a problem, we will discuss it as a team in such a way that my child will know that his parents are in control, not some "outside professional." It just seems to strip parental control at a time when a child needs to know that his parents are in control and understand what is going on.

Quite frankly, it sounds to me like Dr. Levine has doubts about adhd as a condition and not just a behavioral issue.

bettybee, my son is 9 and has known about his adhd since 7. I explained it to him in such a way that we have never, ever had a moment of self-pity, self-denigration, or anger about adhd. If you would like to know about this conversation, I'd be more than happy to tell you all about it. Just send me a private message.

< =text/>_popupControl(); Also, my son loved the "Percy Jackson and the Olympians" trilogy of books, because Percy (short for Perseus) is a modern day kid who has adhd and he's a hero AND he finds out he's Zeus's son. Pretty neat stuff.

I'm not really trying to hide it from him. He knows he needs medicine. I am just waiting until he gets a little mature. For example, This past friday, he didnt take his medicine. It showed in his daily progress report. I spoke to my son and asked him what happened. He told me that since he didnt take his medicine today, that he was dumb. OH MY! I explained to him that the pill doesnt make him any smarter, he's already smart. I asked him how he feels when he doenst take the pill. He said all crazy...and when he does take his pill he said he feels cool...like he can do anything. I guess my fear with telling him is that he is gonna use it as an excuse not to be good at something. I want to educate him on the topic first...so I want to start out with a book (or books) that talk about how he feels inside without having any mention of ADHD.

I know how he is...he'll be running around telling everybody he has adhd. Like when he got a nintendo ds. He would meet new people and say "Hi. I have a DS." I can already see him now. "Hi. I take medicine everyday because I have ADHD". I'm not ashamed....i just rather people not know about my personal business. I need a little maturity in him first.

Oh Betty - I love that - my daughter is so much like that, too.  She's still telling everyone how she can't have dairy (this has been going on for months) - waaay too much information!  But I do think it's part of how she defines the world, kind of like in okiemom's chart - it frames a certain aspect of her life and makes everything about being her a little easier to understand and a little more OK.  I think those sorts of things mean so much to them that they can't imagine others not being similarly wowed by the information!

 

Mine doesn't know the term ADHD yet - she's only 6.  But we do talk about some of the ways she's special, like BL said - she calls it "seeing things nobody else does."  And I think helps her a lot to know that she's got special needs - that some things are truly harder for her than other kids - which doesn't mean she can't do them or that she's not expected to - but just we understand that it's hard and that she is working so hard.  Sometimes I need that for me, too - to be reminded "yes parenting an kid with ADHD IS hard work" not an excuse to slack off, but a recognition that you are doing something that truly requires a lot.  So I think in time the term ADHD will come - as she seeks to name why it is that she has to work so hard.

To me - so many books celebrate aspects of the ADHD character without naming it - I almost think that's one of the big double standards in our society.  Our reading material is probably younger than your son but we enjoy: "Olivia" (the pig) and her series,  "Leo the Late Bloomer", "No, David" of course "Curious George" - I'll try to think of some more.

Hi BettyBee,

This will be controversial because everyone has different opinions on this, but here is my 2 cents. I feel pretty strongly about this.

Tell him.....DON'T try to hide it from him.

HOWEVER.......it needs to be done carefully and in a planned manner.  Dr. Mel Levine calls this process DEMYSTIFICATION.... and it can start "in some form" as early as 1st and 2nd grade.  It requires an outside professional. Parents should NOT be the person initiating the demystification.  I've posted below what Dr. Mel Levine (author of All Kinds of Minds, The Myth of Laziness, Ready or Not Here Life Comes...plus many more books) says about Demystification ( read # 11 - 13).  Google the term "demystification Mel Levine" to read more about it.

Demystification

This can be done with the whole class or individually. Together you examine where breakdowns can occur. Don’t give false praise. Provide specific examples for that praise (e.g. You got 9 out of 10 right on that quiz). Students love to be compared favorably with their peers. (e.g. No one else did as well). Don’t praise a student for doing something well that others do easily. Students should not see their teachers are paragons of perfection. Share some of your breakdown points with them. When talking with an individual student about his or her breakdown points begin and end with a number – show an end to it. Never discuss more than 4 points at a time (There are 3 things that you are having problems with). Then name them (graphomotor functions, short-term memory, and expressive language). This puts a border around the difficulties and shows that their whole life isn’t wrong. Kids can’t work on something if they can’t give it a name. Induce optimism into these discussions. Make a list of the student’s most notable strengths and make a list of possible careers arising from that list. Establish an alliance, work together. It’s you and us (parents, teachers, and clinicians) against the glitch. Don’t moralize. You can start demystification as early as the 1st or 2nd grade. It’s hardest to demystify an 8th grader because they are so sure they know it all already. Invite the parents to the demystification session so that all of you will be using the same vocabulary. However, parents can not do the demystification. Repeat demystification more than once.Okiemom

First ?: Does your child know that they have ADHD? My son will be 8 in May. I told him the medicine he takes in the morning is to help him in school, that was a good enough answer for him.

Yes, my DD knows she has ADHD, and knows she takes meds for it.

 

2nd ?: If your child doesnt know he has ADHD, are they any books that you recommend that will benefit my son without it saying that it's a adhd help book?

Phoebe Flowers series is about a little girl with ADHD, and the scrapes she gets into, available at Amazon, and frankly some of the most well written childrens books I have ever read.


There is a book about a car who goes too fast.  Otto learns about his medicine... Really child like but maybe helpful.  Another is Shelly the Hyperactive Turtle.  I think kids need to hear about it in a positive manner.  Read some books about how to turn your ADHD into a positive and then you can talk with your son. 
One exercise we did was to choose his hardest spelling word.  We wrote it out with each syllable in different color.  He looked at it spelled it out loud closed his eye and spelled it backwards.  He can spell forward and backward.  but... writing it down is hard for him.  He learns his multiplication tables because he can count by 3's and see them in his mind.  There are so many great things about an ADHD mind that the schools don't even tap into!!!

When my child first got diagnosed, I told him he had ADHD and read some books together.  He was relieved that there's a medical reason to explain the difficulties he was having.

I don't know any books that talk about ADHD issues w/o also talking about ADHD.  Sorry.

First ?: Does your child know that they have ADHD? My son will be 8 in May. I told him the medicine he takes in the morning is to help him in school, that was a good enough answer for him.

 

2nd ?: If your child doesnt know he has ADHD, are they any books that you recommend that will benefit my son without it saying that it's a adhd help book?

My son is 7 and has been taking medicine since he was 4 1/2. He never
really wondered why at first. He asked once, and I told him it was to help
him make good choices. When we are having a particularly rough
evening, I make sure to NOT ask him if he got his meds at lunch, because
I don't want him to think of it as an excuse for bad behavior. I hope
someday he notices that he gets fewer consequences and life in general
goes better when he makes good choices, but that day has yet to come. I
also mention to his teacher each year to not ever mention his medication
in association with his behavior or abilities (this year a sub said, "you
missed your meds today. You might have a hard time with this
assignment." Noooo!) I have never used the term ADHD, but I found out
this weekend that he has heard it somewhere. He found this on Dav
Pilkey's site:

   http://www.pilkey.com/pilkey_speech1.php

(author of the Captain Underpants books) and he called me to come see,
all excited because "He has ADHD!" After we watched it, I couldn't get him
to elaborate on it. But no, you definitely can't hide it from them for long.

P.S. Does anyone else hate how Curious George makes all sorts of bad
choices, but always comes out of it as a big hero?

       

Speaking of ADHD and the term Demystification, I came across this article that may be of interest to some parents who are trying to explain ADHD to their young child. I think this is geared towards ages 7 to 12.

http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/579337/demystificat ion_workshops_beneficial.html

Okiemom
My son is 8 and has been on meds for exactly 3 years.  We tell him that they help him focus/think clearly/react calmly, and he is fine with that.  The nice thing is that when he is having trouble focusing, he actually recognizes the problem and tells his teacher.  She was amazed by this and told us that she's never had a child who could recognize and label his lack of focus on a given day.

We've never actually used the term "ADHD" because he is also one who would announce it to the world.  Some people just aren't ... ready ... to hear about ADHD, so I'd rather not have him sharing this information with everyone.  Also, I find it a meaningless term for most 8-year-olds.