My six year old son has recently been diagnosed with severe adhd, which to be honest has come as a shock to me.
neither of my children live with me i only get to see them once every 4 weeks and speak to them on the phone every few nights.
To be honest im compltly shocked my ex wife is talking about medication and residentail schooling im just shocked.
Any advice on where to get support or find out information greatly recieved
Thanks
Martin
There are many websites you can Google for information and books you can check out at the Libraries. You can also Google medications as well. The shock will wear off once you do the research and yes there is help and support out there welcome to the board. You are not alone.
Martin, I'm so impressed that you are such a caring parent. Stay in their lives. Kids that have two parents that love them do so much better in life.
Thank you guys for your welcome and your comments,
Looking at the whole picture at home and at school i do believe the diagnosis as correct,
i remember the first week he was at school he was nearly expelled for being too rough with someone and grabbing there coat from the hood from behind that person fell over and banged head on the ground, every few weeks there is a letter home from fronm the school about his behaviour.
My ex wife is fortunate in one way as her brother was also adhd so she has the support of her mother close by.
I still feel a bit helpless im in poole and they are in Leicester i have both kids coming to stay in a few weeks so hopefully can get some quality time together.
Once again thanks
Martin
I don't think that you are alone. Many divorced Dads are not there for the responsibility issues and that is when the symptoms really come out. Since you don't get to see him very much you probably give him a lot of attention and try to do things that you both enjoy. The trouble comes when someone tries to get these kids to do the things they don't want to do or have no interest in. School is the perfect place for trouble. You have to sit still and often have to learn things that you don't have any interest in yet. At home, chores, homework, bedtime and trying to get somewhere on time are a problem.
Your x-wife couldn't get a diagnosis without the symptoms also happening in another environment, usually school. You might want to get more involved with the teacher. Give her a call and ask her what is going on at school. I think dads are to timid about getting involved in their kid's educaton.
It was really hard for my husband and I to get a diagnosis for our ADD daughter. She sank into anxiety and depression before we could get a diagnosis and medication. I'm quite sure she'd be in a mental hospital if this wasn't figured out. It's really hard to spend your entire day trying to compensate for ADD. If you have the hyperactivity also it must be very demortalizing. Medication and organizational tools have turned her life around. Your natural instincts might be to reject the whole idea. I think it is great that you are taking the time to educate yourself so that you get involved with the matter. You are doing to find websites that are not research-based and will scare the stuffing out of you. Stick with research-based sites like Chadd or sites like this where you have people posting that actually have kids that are going through the challenges of ADHD.
Just another thought. I was recently reading about how we need to concentrate on strengths as well as weaknesses with out kids with ADHD. You are in the perfect position to do that particularily if it is a "manly" kind of thing. Right now my husband and dd are designing a website. This is something that I can not do. They have totally forgotten about piano lessons and delivering those Girl Scout Cookies but dd is getting her creative side taken care of. This is an area of strength and probably her future. There is no ADD stress right now. She's smiling. There are many positives to ADD. There are many famous people in history who had ADD. Ben Franklin for example. While he was in school they thought he was retarded. People with ADD often are often moral authorities and say what needs to be said, do what needs to be done.
If your son expresses an interest in something, he usually will be good at it. Find that strength and encourage him.