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brtsqd339525.3449537037Keep an open mind during the meeting, but at the same time don't let yourself be bullied into agreeing to something that you are not comfortable.
I can understand your fear and frustration, because you as a parent can see that your child is making progress but no one else seems to agree...or they may feel that the progress is too slow.
I think you should go to the meeting with an open mind and don't assume you will have 7 people against you. I believe most people go into education because they care about kids. I don't think they are getting rich. Just don't sign anything if you are not comfortable and the advice about bringing someone with you is good. As parents, we tend to get emotioinal (normal!) and someone with you may hear things differently. Good luck! < =text/>_popupControl(); Be sure to take an advocate with you, someone who won't be emitionally involved or easily intimidated and who can look at the situation objectively. Some of things you listed that he can't do (like tell time) will over-lap UNTIL THIRD GRADE. These aren't skills that they do one year and then never revisit again. Check with them exactly what they mean by having mastered a skill. It can't hurt to listen to what they have to say. Most times these professional have lots of experience at early-intervention and can see things that we have a gut reaction against. BUT I certainly wouldn't sign anything or indicate in any way that you agree if you don't. Good luck!I think you are very fortunate to have a school that is offering help. The team meeting has to happen before they can give him anything, though.
I'm glad you decided to go to the meeting. Yes, it can be intimidating, but I know several teachers (gen. ed and spec. ed) and their opinion of parents who do not attend the initial meetings are not high- from their perspective if the parent doesn't show then they must not care all that much.
Remember that a team meeting does not mean that they will want to put him in sped. Even if they do think he needs that don't worry about him getting "stuck" there. They do not keep kids in sped programs unless they need the help- they are much more likely to try to push them out of it before they are ready since it is expensive. They may think he would benefit from some accomodations, or just a little time with a reading specialist each week. They can't do anything until they have the meeting though.
It's good you have someone to go with you, because it can be intimidating. Go prepared. Write down your concerns, ask lots of questions, take notes and let them know your thankful for their concern. If your unsure about anything, don't sign.
I agree with the comments that you are lucky that the school is reaching out to you with this.
Most come here and post the problems they are having the school on board with helping their child and getting them educate.
Go in and listen to what they have to say. It sure can't hurt, can it! Your school sounds like they care about their students!
SOunds to me like they are invoking Child Find. Bring your Psych report with you, and a list of accoms you think will help. And record the meeting if you can.Sounds like what my school calls a Student Success Team. They want to evaluate your child for Special Education services. I'm guessing that he's in kindergarten.
In your shoes, I would not do an SE evaluation. He's just too young to agree to that level of compromise from the position of a parent.
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brtsqd339525.3424884259I happen to have a child in K without ADHD. Your child is making progress. He is not at a stand-still. All children progress at a different rate.
What is your child's birth month?
I feel like the school is pressuring you and stressing you out. Don't let them do this. Your child is OK.
In november my child was described as the top academic student in the classroom and she could not do these things:
Needs to count to 100.
Needs to count by 10's to 100.
Needs to recognize the 36 popcorn words.
She's close, but still cannot do these things, so I say hoowey to these. Your team is blowing smoke. A pressure tactic. Chiildren make amazingly fast progress at this age.
You have the rest of the year and summer to get him where he needs to be. sometimes kids rocket ahead in just a couple of months. I'm betting that a one to one tutor at home could do this fairly quickly for on per hour, or you can do it yourself.
You certainly can refuse to attend. Until they have your signature on file for SE service, they can do NOTHING without your consent. You'll have seven school staff in a room telling you that your five year old child needs to be evaluated for SE. How will you do in that scenario? This is your call. If felt that I could look seven so-called experts in the eye and say "NO," if that was my answer, I would go. If not, then I would not go. Don't be influenced only by people who exist in the education bubble. It's like you are talking to one person, not seven people with seven unique opinions. You need a better balance than that.
You give up a lot with an IEP. You give up parental control. The IEP team calls the shots. It's very hard to exit SE. They all have to agree. For any improvement gained with Sylvan or at home, they will take the credit. Just because you have an IEP doesn't mean that you get services. You might get the SE label, and then have to hire an advocate for actual services.
What I'm saying is, don't take this road without careful contemplation. At five, it is very hard to determine the level of help needed. The AMA recommended not evaluating for ADHD until age six for a reason.
Jessica N39516.6525578704I would go to the meeting and if you are feel like you are being pressured to sign something tell them you want to have a couple days to think about it. Take someone with you. I took my mother to first meetings with me. It shows there is a united front to help your son. Make a list of what you want to see done. Alot of services are done in the classroom or only for a short period of time in a weeks time. They usually have everybody at the first meeting and it is intimidating to walk into a roomfull of people. I had to tell myself they are there to help my son, not punish him. This is your chance to have everyone in the same room listening to you on what you think your son needs. And like Diane V says they may be only way they are able to offer the things you want. Aaron'smom39516.3528703704.
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brtsqd339525.3428935185I would give ds a chance to mature over the summer. A few months can go a long way towards a child maturing. You can work w/ him over the summer. My ds is in kindergarten too. We found some Reader Rabbit computer games and got him a V smile learning system (its wonderful). I really think he learned his alphabet from it.
Also, our school system offfers a six week summer school program. That helps kids who are behind to catch up for next year.....
There are alot of educational websites w/ online learning games for kindergarteners. Ask your childs teacher or just google it. I went on our schools website and found some.
Anyway, I guess I am saying to work w/ds over the summer before trying anything drastic. You do not have to make any big decisions right now. Just take a big breath and re center yourself.
We were under so much stress w/ds behavior at school that I felt like I couldn't think straight. My thoughts are w/you. We finally decided to medicate and things are going better.
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brtsqd339525.3438888889I don't know, I'm not an expert at this type of situation at all. But to me it seems like you have been wanting to get additional help for your son (which is why you went to Sylvan), and now the school is willing to evaluate your child and potentially offer him accommodations or additional services. To me it would make sense to go to the meeting, see what they have to say, and ask your questions and express your concerns. Just don't sign off on anything until you are sure you are in agreement with the plan. You can always say you'd like to take it home and discuss it with your husband (or whoever) before you sign..
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I think you should figure out exactly what you DO want for help for him and bring those ideas to the meeting.I think if you continually ask for them to help him then reject their idea they will get frustrated. I know, believe me I know, how difficult it can be to work with the school, but if your child needs help he needs help. Try to forget about labels and the word special ed. If you are dead set against this for now, that is fine, but please be open minded enough to know he may struggle a bit more (which isnt necessarily bad). It is totally reasonable to say you'd like to give him another year with home support and maybe an aide or more one to one help in class, but the only way to get one to one help in class may be by involving the SPED department. Request they do re convene the end of the year and make a decision at that how to proceed for next year.
Oh and as far as Sylvan for sure try to get your money back and spend it on a private tutor at home. You are not the first person I've heard that Sylvan is a waste of BIG money. Some have had wonderful success, but I've heard more bad than good.
Diane V39516.3187962963You can get remedial reading help without SE. Also, you can ask for summer school, without SE.
Your son's delay could be due to everything he's been through. I think you need to give him time before diving into something as serious and draining (for the parent) as SE. It can be very unpleasant. And it never seems to end.
I would be thrilled if my school wanted to intervene with kids this young. This sort of thing costs money so many kids don't get early intervention in our district..
brtsqd339525.3445949074 If I were you, I would not refuse to attend this meeting. The district is extending a hand to you.......don't swat it away because it is not in the "form of help" you were wanting or expecting. I agree with Diane........you need to figure out just what it is you want from them before attending. I agree your child is been through way more than the average K child, which is undoubtedly affecting his education in some way, however, I'd think hard before you close the door on services. I agree you need to be educated with your rights before attending that meeting. Parents are often overwhelmed when facing "the team" and they get emotional because it is "their baby" being discussed. They automatically go on the defensive. Just getting this letter thrust you into that mode already IMO. I completely disagree that once you get an IEP or services under SE....you hand over everything to "them". If you know your rights and are educated on the process.....YOU STILL CALL THE SHOTS.