O.D.D | ADHD Information

My name is Cynthia. I have a 6 year old son, Nicholas, who was diagnosed with ADHD and ODD about 3 years ago.  He's currently taking Concerta and Risperdal.  Academically he's doing beyond what I had hoped for but his behavior is about to get him kicked out of school and into an out of district situation.  I am at a loss for words with his behavior.  I've never seen someone so angry and so ruthless.  He's uncaring and violent when he's having an episode but then afterwards he's that precious lil boy that I gave birth to.  I'm a single mother.  I get no help.  I don't know what to do and I'm just afraid that it's only going to get worse.  Does anyone know anything about ODD (oppositional defiance disorder)? Is there a technique that anyone knows about that I can use to try to calm him down when I see him starting up? I would appreciate as much feedback as possible.  I really need the help and I'm open to new suggestions.  Thank you.

My dd is almost 6 years old and is terribly ODD.  The only thing that is working for us right now, is that I have gotten her into Behavior Therapy.  It's going to be a very long process...but changing any kind of a behavior takes time.

When I see her acting up, I try to get her to talk about what is making her angry/upset.  She hasn't been able to verbalize her frustrations until recently, and is acting better when I validate her feelings.  When I do validate her feelings, it's like diffusing the bomb. 

Good luck, it's very frustrating :(

Hi Cynthia.  I second the advice on getting the book "The Explosive Child:A New Approach to Parenting Easily Frustrated, Chronically Inflexible Children"  by Ross Greene PHD.  The book helped us tremendously bring more calm to our household. It is NOT your standard parenting advice.........but then, we aren't parenting standard children! Keep an open mind reading it.  A huge part of what Greene talks about is learning to identify your child's triggers and preventing them from going into what Greene calls "vapor lock" mode. In that mode, nothing can get through to them Greene uses kind of a "pick you battles" type of technique where you identify how your child's problem behaviors fit into 3 baskets....basket A is the stuff we need to let go of, basket B is the negotiable stuff, and basket C is the NON negotiable stuff (safety, etc).  The vast majority of things we battle with our kids over, according to him, many times fall into Basket A and B..... but we battle with them like they are a Basket C issue and we refuse to negotiate. Then all hell breaks loose and the war begins! .Here's a little more on it:

http://www.amazon.com/Explosive-Child-Understanding-Frustrat ed-Chronically/dp/0060931027

Okiemom
okiemom39520.4444212963 I might add that Ross Greene has quite a following of parents and educators. His website link is

http://www.explosivechild.com/index.html

and, his non-profit org  link is


http://www.thinkkids.org

okiemom
okiemom39520.4523611111Wow...Thank you all so very much.  It is truly a blessing to know that I am soo not alone in this fight.  I sometimes feel like the people I talk to don't truly understand where I am with him.  I appreciate all of your comments.  I'm going to pick up the book tomorrow.Is his aggression worse with his current set of meds than before you started?  Sometimes, if the meds aren't right, it can make things worse.

A couple of good books:

The Explosive Child - Greene
10 Days to a Less Defiant Child

Both are great books regarding this type of stuff.

The best advice I have in terms of dealing with the behavior - is stay calm and don't engage them.  They feed off the stimulation and then the situation can escalate very quickly.

Also, learning how to predict what will set your child off is also very helpful.  It's easier to stop the snowball a the top of the hill than when it is rolling full speed down it.  There are something that I know would just set my daughter off and as we became aware of them, we were better able to defuse situations before they got out of control.

Finding a good therapist is also key.   They will be able to help you both with all of this.  I've read a ton of books, attended tons of presentations and support groups, but the most helpful thing we did was finding a good therapist.   Having someone that can work one on one with you guys make a huge difference.

Hang in there.  Things do get better.
The things I find work best are to ignore as much as you can (obviously not if there is any danger) never feed an argument by argueing back (you wont win anyway) and try to redirect by totally changing the subject to try and get them back on track. Try to make conversation when they are not upset or arguing and address the behaviours you do not like when they are calm enough to talk about it. Hope this helps sometimes I could make it work.

[QUOTE=CapiCent]Wow...Thank you all so very much.  It is truly a blessing to know that I am soo not alone in this fight.  I sometimes feel like the people I talk to don't truly understand where I am with him.  I appreciate all of your comments.  I'm going to pick up the book tomorrow.[/QUOTE]

This is why I don't talk to other people much about my dd's condition... people that don't have an ADD/ADHD/ODD child can not understand.  I have found it's very seldom even worth trying to explain, so I don't talk about it to many people other than people w/ children w/ ADHD.

Wow!! I never realized so many children suffered with so many disorders. I am very familiar with ADHD as I have watched my nephew (who is now 15 and was dx in Kindergarten) grow up with it but I have never heard anything about ODD till I read about it here. I have read about OCD but I never realized it affected so many children. I give you all props for taking care of these childen and getting educated about ther disorders.

Tracie

I hate ODD more than ADHD and now I am hating Sensory Processing Disorder too. My son is 8 - ADHD, bipolar, ODD. I have found positive works great. The problem with ODD is they are willing to be violent and destructive and that's a path you want to avoid. So, find the currency, whatever that is and make him work for it. These kids are usually brighter than average and they know the drill. Also, give lots of positives for when he is cooperative and helpful. That is something that doesn't come naturally to them When things start going downhill, I haven't learned a good way to manage the situation. But you can learn the words, "I really don't care to argue, please follow my instructions". Best of luck - it's tough!

Carol

My son, Nicholas, just turned 7 on St. Patrick's Day.  I have increased the Risperdol to .5 mg.  It seems to be working for him.  Then again, he also has it in his head that should he get into trouble in school again he will be sent to another school (out of district).  He doesn't want that for sure.  I find that the Concerta (54mg) has  really worked for him although the pediatrician thinks that the dose is too high.  It was higher...lol...but he's been leveled off and on this dose for some time.  My biggest concern is the O.D.D and that if I can't find new ways to control his anger now the future looks very dim for me.  It's hard enough as it is to be a single mom but a single mom with a child who has violent tendencies, well that's just exhausting.  Again I thank you all so very much for all your support.  This is truly the best website I have found that allows me to vent and get help at the same time.