Will behaviour therapy help? | ADHD Information
My son ( who is 9 ) is in behavior therapy and for him it is starting to work.It's new for us, just going on four weeks. His issues are different from your
son's but from what you're describing I don't think a behavior therapist
would hurt. Our therapist is wonderful and I follow his advice/plans to the
letter. As long as I do that I can see a difference in how my son behaves.
If it makes you feel better... ... count your blessings that you can take
him out to dinner without having to deal with anger issues, cursing, PLUS
the complaints regarding boredom. Geesh, my son was a piece of work at
the doctor's office yesterday. Just wanted the floor to open up and swallow
me.
MelG39525.5258796296
I think it would help. We have many of the same issue with my daughter. She doesn't like big groups and situations where she doesn't know the kids. Even groups of kids she knows but put them in a different situation, it can stress her out. Even getting her to goto her best friends house can be a struggle. 9 times out of 10, once you get her there, she has a great time.The other night, we went to a basketball training night put on by the select program she played with this fall and winter. She walked into the gym, saw no one she knew and instantly wanted to go home. It was one of those light bulb moments for me. I could see it in her face and her body language how hard it was for her. I finally got it. It's taken me a while to come to the understanding that she's not being necessarily defiant, she's anxious and stressed out. You'd think after 11 years, I would have figured it out sooner!
I don't have any great suggestions for you as we are still working through these issues ourselves. Our therapist/counselor has been very helpful with the specific situations we are working through. It's really a delicate balance between pushing them, them trusting you and also knowing when to back off.
HorseMom39525.9961574074I DO think a therapist could help here. The point is to relieve anxiety and helpw ith self esteem and self confidence.I'm a firm believer in using a therapist. I've had my son involved with a play therapist since he was almost 4 and he is now 6. I've seen it make a huge impact. We don't go but about once a month now, but when he needs more we make arrangements for that to happen. Things don't happen over night. It takes time and consistency. The longer you wait in my opinion the harder it will be for your child to adjust to the therapy.
Ryan is 10 years old, takes 30 mg of vyvanse daily and is doing well in school. Much better since the vyvanse. He is ADHD, emphasis on the HYPER without meds. Ryan has a few special friends at school, most whom he has had since kindergarten. He also gets along well with the other children. No bullying issues, etc at school that I am aware of. One of Ryans problems though is he is very non aggressive with other children. He also does not stand up for himself. he will let the other kids take his snacks, talk him into things he KNOWS he shouldnt do because he *wants them to be my friend*. I worry about this as he gets older. He is most definetely a follower.
Ryan does well in small groups where he feels safe. People and places he is very familiar with. He does not do well in other enviroments such as parties,family gatherings where there are people he hasnt seen in a long time.
EXAMPLE. we went out to dinner last weekend(not one of Ryans fav activitys to bgine with since he doesnt eat much..food is not high on his list of FUN activities)with my partners family. There were about 12 of us. Ryan knows all these people but we see them maybe 5 times a year. NOT all the time. Well he took his drawing things because Ryan always has to be *busy* or else he whines he is bored, etc. We use to let him play the gameboy but that caused more problems as he wouldnt socialize AT ALL wiht anyone. When its just my partner and I and Ryan we engage him in converstaion and he responds favorably. But in a larger group we felt the drawing things would make him feel more comforable. Well he did draw but he didnt socialize AT ALL. Sometimes I can barely get him to say *hello*. He gets very anxious and just wont even look up from what he is doing. He wont acknowledge the wait staff or anything. THen on the way home he told me *no one talkes to me and I get bored*.
I hate to see him this way as when he moves on in life he will encounter many different situations where he will need to socialize and meet new people. Ryan had play therapy when he was 4 til 6 but no therapy since. Do you think behavioural therapy will help my little man learn to feel more comforable in these kinds of situations?
Also was there anything I could have done to help out in the out to dinner thing? I did try to encourage him to talk to the other little boy there(he was 5) but it wasnt working out. He just kept telling him he was in his light!
Thanks so much for any advice.
[QUOTE=MelG]My son ( who is 9 ) is in behavior therapy and for him it is starting to work.
It's new for us, just going on four weeks. His issues are different from your
son's but from what you're describing I don't think a behavior therapist
would hurt. Our therapist is wonderful and I follow his advice/plans to the
letter. As long as I do that I can see a difference in how my son behaves.
If it makes you feel better... 
... count your blessings that you can take
him out to dinner without having to deal with anger issues, cursing, PLUS
the complaints regarding boredom. Geesh, my son was a piece of work at
the doctor's office yesterday. Just wanted the floor to open up and swallow
me. [/QUOTE]
omg Ryan ALWAYs complains about being BORED. He has to be doing something ALL THE TIME, EVERY MINUTE! And I soooooooooo understand wanting the floor to swallow you up! Thanks for the advice and
((HUGS)))
[QUOTE=HorseMom] I think it would help. We have many of the same issue with my daughter. She doesn't like big groups and situations where she doesn't know the kids. Even groups of kids she knows but put them in a different situation, it can stress her out. Even getting her to goto her best friends house can be a struggle. 9 times out of 10, once you get her there, she has a great time.
The other night, we went to a basketball training night put on by the select program she played with this fall and winter. She walked into the gym, saw no one she knew and instantly wanted to go home. It was one of those light bulb moments for me. I could see it in her face and her body language how hard it was for her. I finally got it. It's taken me a while to come to the understanding that she's not being necessarily defiant, she's anxious and stressed out. You'd think after 11 years, I would have figured it out sooner!
I don't have any great suggestions for you as we are still working through these issues ourselves. Our therapist/counselor has been very helpful with the specific situations we are working through. It's really a delicate balance between pushing them, them trusting you and also knowing when to back off.
[/QUOTE]
I see the stress and anxiety in my son too and I feel horrible sometimes. I always just think *how hard can it be!??* And you know what???FOR him its very hard! He doenst want to be this way. The other day he told me , "my friends dont always care about my needs"! I tried to get him to explain what he meant but he really couldnt verablize it. I think he meant they just dont *understand* him sometimes or how hard things can be for him. It broke my heart.
A few weeks ago he got invited to a pool party at a motel. He is not really great friends with this boy but the boy invited the whole class. Ryan insisted he wanted to go. While not a great swimmer, he can tread water and knows to stay on the shallow end. Well when he got there he didnt see ONE kid from his class! Seems most of the kids were the boys cousins and the boy who had the party was not interested in Ryan in the least(His mother is the class mother and insisted on inviting all the kids!!). I saw Ryans face when he walked in and how he immediately started to *get itchy*. His reaction to stress and anxiety. He wouldnt even take off his jeans and shirt (his bathing suit was underneath). The class Mom was sooo nice and wonderful though. I offered to Ryan to either stay with him or he could leave but he toughed it out. he insisted on staying. 3 hours later, i picked him up and the class mom said he wouldnt go in the pool, but pulled a chair up to the edge of the pool and talked to the boys. I guess for Ryan that is progress..I FELT LIKE THE WORST MOM IN THE WORLD. I also realized that Ryan did the best he could in a tough situation and I was proud of him.
I am calling a few therapists this week. I figure it cant hurt right?