HOMEWORK | ADHD Information
Third grade was horrible for homework- the teacher made a big deal about how they were going on the fourth grade and how prepared they needed to be. Guess what? He has half the homework this year that he did last year.
I have scribed for my son as well- that's how we're getting through his science fair project at the moment. His teacher knows and it's ok with her- he does type what I've written for the science fair.
Last year I spent enormous amounts of time breaking down his reading comp homework into small chunks, then having him tell me what each chunk was about in his own words and writing that down so he had a summary from which to answer question after he'd read it. It was very helpful though as the passages were way to long for his attention span.
I also spend a lot of time walking him through the steps for the math problems. I will use a made up problem though because if he thinks he'll get me to answer it for him he won't even try.
Also have a 3rd grader here......And we had huge amount of homework each night....Sometimes it would take us up to 3 or 4 hours...to get thru it all....
Math,spelling reading ....etc...She had trouble retaining it all.
This is one of the main reasons I had her tested for she wasn't keeping up...in class.....Now with the IEP she brings home much less homework and she is
working at her pace....And all her grades have improved even her Science and
Social Studies and she takes them with the regular class....
Slowing down and working more of the basics has really helped her.....Some
children aren't able to perform like other children...Each one is different.
Hi,
I hope I put this as tactfully as I can and some of you may be teachers who would disagree. Randyjim, that is an absolutely ridiculous amount of homework. I can't stand it when schools try and destroy a child's love of learning by piling on homework. Too much busy work.
My daughter is in third grade (ADHD mild, on stimulant and doing very well) her homework is about 20 minutes a night plus 20 minutes of reading. She and my son attend a private independent non-religious college prep school which is PK through 12 grade. We received her ERB scores (the standardized test given by the top private schools throughout the country) and they were outstanding. So, with that little of homework she was able to perform very well on the test. I purposely chose this school because of the pride they take in teaching children to love learning. The school does not give letter grade until 6th grade because they want children to learn to love school not focus on grades. It may seem a bit touchy feely for some but my children love school. My son who is also ADHD (on stimulants and doing well) LOVES school. Homework can be a battle if his meds have worn off but other than an occasional homework meltdown this school environment is outstanding for him. However, I must add that we had some rough years before we found the correct stimulant. Oh, and our high school (I live in a major city) has the highest SAT scores of any school public or private in the area. So for all the warm and fuzzies they give the kids, these kids perform at a very high level.
I would do exactly what you are doing. What a good mommy.
Does your child have an IEP? If so have reduced homework put in it that is what I did. If my child gets 30 math problems to do she only has to do 15 an example. Our psychologist is the one who recommended this. My husband and I were just discussing this subject this morning. Our 2nd grader with add inattentive has his own problems with homework but the thing is that our first grader with no issues has enormous amounts of homework and we think it's ridiculous! It makes me wonder what gets done in school all day! I get out of work and pick up the kids from the after school sitter, get home by 5:15, make supper while they do as much homework as they can on their own (sitting not far from me), we eat, then it's homework for another hour. 1st GRADE!!!! By this time it's bath time and wind down for bed. They are 6 1/2 and 8. If I let them stay up past 8:00 they can't be up and ready for the bus by 7:15 the next morning. I wish we had the money for me to quit my job and home school. Thank gosh hubby helps. I don't know how anyone does it all alone! Sorry, I am not helping anyone here, just venting.
Jon's school is a private Christian school. The principal said they did not have to accomodate Jon because of this. The behavioral psychol said this is ridiculous- if they have handicapped parking it is an accomodation and the same law: American's with Disabilities and ADHD is considered a disability. So this is why we are having such trouble. They won't give an inch on homework.
The psychologist said if he can not get them to reduce Jon's homework and other things, I should pull Jon out before the year is up but my husband does not want to do this.
Tomorrow we are going to try to do spelling and start the Big Report. Jon forgot his math book- so there is a homework miss right off the bat.
DD is in 5th grade, and could have several hours of homework each night, however she has a 504 plan which has so many homework accoms that it is almost impossible for the teachers to assign.
Her HW accoms are:
MOM must be notified of weekly homework on Mondays, via email and written note. ( they forget to do this, so DD is not required to do it)
Any HW assigned to dd must be work not copleted in class. work assigned as HW is not allowed.
allow extra classs time for dd to turn in HW, allow to complete if not completed.
ANY HW Parents deems " not at child pace" will be marked as such and returned incomplete.
Any HW not completed due to heightened anxiety levels will be excused.
Any math HW will be returned incomplete.
So, yeah, I made it impossible for them to assign homework.
The only way to get him covered under ADA is to have a 504 plan.wow i never knew all of this. and my 9 yr old struggles he sits down at 4pm for homework and hes still sitting there at 10pm.
and of course after 2 hours of sitting he's lost any and all interest so he doesnt' retain a single thing.
Two things. First, I would agree with your psychologist. If the school won't make accommodations, I'd pull him. It's very damaging to his self esteem and it's not worth it. It's crazy that they won't be more understanding. My girls attend a Catholic K-8 school and they are very willing to make accommodations for kids - though can't provide all the services one would get in the public school system.Secondly, I scribe for my daughter as well. Handwriting can be an issue for her. Her printing is ok when she isn't rushed and has the right pen or pencil. There are certain ones she littles better than others. It depends on how smoothly the ink flows. Cursive is painful. It's almost impossible to read. During 4th grade, her teacher and I decided that she had given it her best effort and let print for everything. Her 5th grade teacher is also very flexible in this regard.
My daughter struggled with homework in 3rd grade as well. It was a constant battle to get her homework done and the work she didn't get done in class. Major tantrum ensued and our home life was incredibly stressful. We hired a tutor just to avoid the fighting. If I were to do it over again, I would have totally backed off on all of this. I knew she knew the material and wouldn't have pushed her to get all the work done and/or made up. It wasn't worth the stress it put on our family.
The only good things that came out of all this struggling was her ADHD diagnosis. By gaining a better understanding of what makes my daughter tick and appropriately treating her ADHD, things have changed for the better. She's now a happy and successful 5th grader. She one of the top students in the class. She still forgets to bring her homework home from time to time and has the occasional melt down over homework and some nights where she is too mentally fried to get any work done. I have had to learn to not worry about this stuff as a much and to put things in perspective. In the long run, will it really matter if my daughter didn't finish her noun packet or 5th grade math problems? In our situation, probably not.
HorseMom39529.0105787037
My son Jon is in 3rd grade and he has homework in several subjects each night. He is ADHD and ODD and there is NO WAY he can sit and write out 28 spelling words 2X's each twice a week and do math problems, write poems, write to his penpal, do history, reading, health, bible and book reports.
PLUS- when he does do his homework, half the time it doesn't get to the teacher even if I put it in his backpack.
Each time he doesn't complete his homework he gets a homework miss (one for each assignment so he can get two or three a day). 3 homework misses and he gets a merit loss. 10 merit losses in a quarter and he gets out of school suspension and misses the merit special activity that quarter.
Talking to the teacher and principal doesn't help. Writing notes does not help. Jon feels so hurt and his classmates taunt him for the merit losses because they are done in front of the class.
He now has a HUGE book report of Abe Lincoln due on Tuesday plus an activity in front of the class or diorama to bring in. There is NO way he can do it so I made a decision. For the rest of the year I am going to do his homework for him. I will involve him as much as he can be involved but I will write the report (in his words), read the stuff out loud to him, do his math, and read the health and history. JUST to get him through to the end of the year and then I am homeschooling.
I will have him sit with me when I do the math or spelling and he will spell the word for me to write, help ME with the adding and subracting, multiplying and division. I will write his report in his words.
Jon has fine motor problems and his handwriting is illegible pretty much. I will let him play with clay, move cheerios or pennies to help with his fine motor skills and hope for the best.
Has anyone else thought of doing their child's homework? Has anyone done it? What do you think about it?
T
I have scribed for my daughter. I dont do her homework for her, but used to scribe for her for language and spelling, I've read books with her for cook reports, and modifed if I felt it should be modified and sent it in with a note.I have helped my son with his homework, but never done it. I have corrected wrong answers I've caught when checking his homework the next morning, just because we don't have time for him to argue about changing the answer he thinks is right.
we are going through something very similar with my son who is also in 3rd grade. he has 20 words a night on monday night he has to write them in cursive 5 x's each on tuesday 3 x's each and wed 2 x's each. Plus he has science, reading, language, vocabulary, and 3 math homework sheets. This is every single night. And at his school 3rd grade is their transition year to prepare them for 4th grade, when they have homeowke in every single subject every single night including weekends. I made a post about this because he's having a really hard time with remember his homework, and not doing homework, and he has a teacher who just doesnt care cause hes always on his cellphone during school.
I wish you the best of luck. I Make sure he is understanding the work when you are doing it, because it will serve no purpose if he's not learning anything. It will just allow him to get behind.
We struggled with the 10 min. per grade of homework for a couple of years. When ity got to 2-3 hours to complete 20-30minutes of homework we new something wasn't right. We had our daughter diagnosed privately last summer and she's been on med. this whole school year and it bet a world of difference for us all. We have our lives at home back, stress from homework is way dowm but completely gone. We also sign off on nights when it's just not going to happen, which I can tell in a heartbeat by my dd demeaner as we poen the school folder. In her case the math comes harder for her than spelling and others. We asked teacher to break things into smaller "chunks" and this has helped. I wish the school had warned parents to seek help if a child spends 2-3 hours doing 10-20 minutes of homework.Schooling is very imprtant but so is having quality family time after school and on weekends. It's a tough balancing act we all try to do.
I don't have time to read through all the responses but I have to add a few coments from my experiences.
My dd is in 6th grade now. She is gifted/ADD. Homework robbed her of her childhood for many years and negatively affected her relationship with her family. She always ended up with the teachers who gave a lot of homework. We just sucked it up and did it until I got fed up in 5th grade and I started to let the teacher know about our hardship. To my great surprise, the teacher was VERY supportive. She told us to limit the homework to 50 minutes and to write a note each time dd could not complete the homework. My dd gave herself a 1 hour and 30 minute limit rather than the 50 minutes that the teacher advised. Wow, what a difference. All the stress of possibly not finishing the homework melted away. She had an "out." I really regreted not having talked with the teachers sooner. I assumed that they were aware that the homework load was excessive but in reality, they probably had no clue what they were asking of the students.
Dd is now on medication and can get through all her homeword fairly timely but we were still having trouble with math frustration and emotional outbursts. Dd is gifted in language arts but average in math ability. Forever, dd was very fresh to me during math homework when I would try to help her. It was very hard for me not to get sucked into the conflict because I was stressed trying to get dinner and help my other dd with homework. We tried refusing to help her when she got this way but the pattern kept repeating itself. She couldn't control herself. What we finally did was get a tutor for 3 nights per week. Dd does very well with the tutor. She is in control of her emotions. For some reason she is better with us on the other 2 nights each week. She may be learning to stay more calm by getting out of the habit of being emotional. I wish we had hired the tutor years ago. I kept thinking that dd should not be getting so frustrated. She's average in math so why can't she just believe in herself? Well, ADHD is the cause obviously. The tutor is expensive but it is well-worth the money to take some of the negativity out of our relationship.
So, my advice is to communicate with teacher about the homework length and don't hesitate to get a third party to her your child with his/her homework.
mamark39532.2036805556Well we just finished my sons homework 8 pages and 20 spelling words 3 x's each. Took him 5 hours and actually he still has of those left. They are 1 min timed math sheets. He has to do each one two times each.
DD is in first grade and has homework Monday-Friday and its a lot. Reading every night, along with 2 math pages and some sort of writing. She's ADHD more on the hyperactive/inatentive part, she is on ritalin in the morning and mid afternoon, but I can't bare to give it to her when she gets home from school because she doesn't eat that well on it. So we generally just "tough" out homework every night, and its gotten to a point where I dread it. I will help her out most of the time, but when the stories that she is suppose to read are 20+ pages long, then she has to write out answers on them, I end up reading the story for her. Most nights homework takes 1.5 hrs to do, and I have 2 children in the 1st grade . Now since I pretty much made the decision to retain DD next year, I honestly haven't been pushing that much on the homework side, b/c she just gets very frustrated and doesn't get it and ends up getting upset with me. I was going to say that I have never done my daughter's homework for her, but when you mentioned word searches, I realized I have done that too!! I think my daughter brought home the same wordsearch as yours.
That
thing was impossible!! It took her, me, and a friend hours and hours
and hours, and it was completely pointless. Half the words on it
weren't even vocabulary words. And for the words that are vocabulary
words, what do you really learn by hunting for them and circling them?We've had several other word searches that weren't much better, too.
I've never liked word searches
and I would be very happy if I never saw another one in my life!janyben, that is awful that your first grader is spending that much time on homework. I hope you are able to get it reduced!
inspiredbymusic39531.3820023148
After telling me all day that he was not going to do his homework (as well as telling me the same thing on Fri and Sat), Jon decided he would do his homework himself when I told him it was time for bed!!! I didn't argue- just said great and he finished his homework and with prompting put it in his backpack.
I did scribe for his book report. He had a few neat things to say about Abe Lincoln that I didn't even know.
I did make a deal with my children- no homework misses for the week and you earn . Staying on green for the week . Doing your chores for the week: 1$ and the last is: for each day you don't hit or taunt or scream at a sibling (or get a time out). So far they haven't earned the 'no taunting etc $). But, I also told them that I was not going to be buying them little toys etc when we went anywhere and they have plenty of opportunity to earn the money themselves. Earning money may not be the best way to do it but Jon can't eat candy so that's out.
randyjim, If earning money works for you then I say that earning money IS the best way. I wonder what the teachers giving all of this homework do in the evenings. I am fairly educated and believe in it's value but they need to let kids be kids once in awhile. If I left work every day with 2-3 hours more of work to do at home (besides housework etc) I think I would have a major tantrum too!I sue money. I think it's wonderful tool. You then can teach toehr lessons, like you're doing as far as asaving and only buying what you can afford. I think it's a great plan. If it's too many things at once, work on one or two behaviors then add more as they are succeeding.
inspiredbymusic, thanks! I also hope I can get that homework reduced!
I think using money is a great idea because not only are they learning good behaivors, but they are learning about money, saving up, and buying things that they want! I do this with my son. Not a regular set of rules, but if he does something extra well, I'll give him a dollar!
I'm such a bad saver, money burns a hole in my pocket, that I'm determined to make Tyler a good saver! So far he is! He saves up his money to buy his own video games! And, that can take months of saving!
I also think giving money/allowance is better than food rewards because then that promotes poor eating habits and the children can get overweight.
I think other types of good rewards are getting to stay up later on weekends, or geting to pick out a movie of thier choice at the video rental store, or playing a game of thier choice with parent/s on the weekend, or cooking a meal of thier choice with parent. Or screen time that is dependant on good behavior (such as video games or tv time).
My son's in 1st grade and he gets homework on Monday-Thursday. He receives 1 math paper, 1 spelling word paper, and a small book to read. My husband helps him with his math paper, which he's good at and can finish pretty quickly. The spelling/reading is where the trouble lies and we can spend 2 hrs doing a paper! This would be a paper with the words at the top, and some sentences at the bottom with blanks and he has to read the sentence and pick the word at the top that fits in.
I sit next to him and help him, but I'd never do it for him.
And, just as some of you have said, oftentimes the paper doesnt make it back to the teacher for an extra day or two. He got marked down for it and I told the teacher that I make sure he does his homework every night, but he has trouble remembering to pass it in, so please remind him, check is backpack, or dont mark him down if he forgets to turn it in! I told her a few times, and now she's not marking him down when it's late.
I'm in the begining stages of getting him evaluated for a reading disorder and when the time comes to meet with the teachers to go over his results, I'll be asking for some accomidations!! I want it in writing that he will get full credit for all homework turned in, even if it's late .. and that if it takes more than an hr, we will not complete and I will sign off on the paper. He's 7 and there are some nights he's up until 8:30 doing homework and that is just too much!
I would not do the work for him... but I'll sit right next to him through the entire time and help him. My DS has bad handwriting too, but my thoughts are that it will never get better unless he keeps on writing. I would type for him if he was required, but I cant see that being asked of him in 1st grade! And, its rediculous to ask an 8 year old to type up a paper!
I would also take him out of school now. Why wait and continue the stress causing enviornment/situation? It will only continue to get worse and worse and it's not worth it for you or him.
I hope something good happens soon, because I can tell how stressed you are! My thoughts are with you!
Hi Randyjim,
My son is in 4th grade and gets two to three homework assignments a night, plus one pretty good size project a month, sometimes every other month. He , too has issues with writing. He can write pretty legible now but the idea of putting ideas from head to paper are hard for him. This year he has made the most leaps in that dept due to a great teacher and a great paraprofessional.BUT i still am allowed to scribe for him or type for him and I often do when its getting late and he is not done. ALWAYS his own words, but sometimes my writing. I am also allowed to ask for extra time on projects as his teacher knows i work 40 hours per week and dont pick Ryan up from afterschool care till 6. Weekends are homework free.
My partner, bless her, does math with him as I am NOT good in math. I do the writing, spelling, etc with him. I am starting to make him go in his room and work on his home work to get him use to working more independently. I tell him to do what ever he can ALONE and then I will help him. Since he started vyvanse and it lasts till almost 8 this is actually a reality. Before vyvanse, we couldnt do much homework past 6 or so.
Ryan only has to write the spelling words he getss WRONG on the pretest so sometimes that is only 1, maybe 3 , the next day is ABC order. NO sentences this year..YEAH!!!!...Math is a work sheet, twice a week or so , social studies questions(never more than 3) and sometimes paragraph writing on a subject of their choice.
Ryan is also allowed an extra set of books at home...a HUGE help. You should ask for this. Even if the school wont make accomadations(which i think is horrible..DO they only have perfect children there????) maybe they will do this.
The standard for homework should be not more than 10 minutes per grade. So a 3rd grader should MAX have 30 minutes!
Ryan doesnt mind doing projects...he likes the creative part..not the writing though. Tonite we have to do a time line and 1 paragraph on JK Rowlings. We will be typing it and he will type half and I will type half.
I wish you luck, I read your posts often and am amazed at how well you work thru all these issues with your little man!
I have done DD's homework for her once , and I have also marked homework with a great big black X and returned it unfinished. For example, DD brought home a word search that was given by a sub, it was unnacceptable,( I made a copy of it and it took me 4 hours to do it), so I returned it undone.I'm right there with most of you on the fact that homework in large quanities is ridiculous. You can generally see what the child knows with 2 problems in math vs. 25 problems. I'm a teacher and feel that homework needs to be practical and real life.
Honestly, the only reason most teachers bother with homework is because believe it or not the parents in some schools expect homework and expect it to be drill and kill. I've been in the teaching business for 20+ years and have had parents beg for quanities vs. quality assinments. Sad but true.
My son's teacher in kinder gives a very reasonable amount of homework. I can only hope this will continue on into 1st grade and up. I guess it is a wait and see.
In most cases if your child's teacher is over doing it...you can sit down with them and discuss what is occurring at home. If they are any good at what they do...they will see for themself if a child is taking 4 hours to do a homework assignment that should only take 30 minutes or less then something isn't quite right.
Hi Randijim, my daughter is in 2nd grade, and until recently, had the teacher from h%^^ll. The assignments were absolutely insane. She did a very long paper on Ben Franklin, and then the teacher demanded it be typed on the computer. Well, my daughter hunted and pecked and it took an hour to get two sentences typed - so yep, I typed it for her. She would have been up all night trying to type that much, she's only 8!!! And her teacher expected the kids to be able to type at this age?????? And there were plenty of other times I did her homework - we do what we have to I guess. Fortunately, her teacher was fired and we now have such a wonderful teacher. I sent in a note telling her that my daughter has ADHD, and she actually thanked me for the information and its been a stress free remainder of the year. If the school isnt willing to accomodate you, and you plan to homeschool next year anyway, why wait? I would pull him out now and try to calm the situation down. Its not worth the stress for both you and your son. Wish I could be more helpful but you're in my thoughts. Good luck and keep us posted.I can't believe you all have teachers sending this much homework home! My 6th grader doesn't even have that kind of homework for crying out loud!
And the ONLY time my Kindergartner has homework is when he is being TOTALLY stubborn at school and refusing to do something just becasue he doesn't want to do it. Then it gets sent home to be done. Otherwise he doesn't have any homework. His teacher and I both know when he is having an ADHD moment and when he is just being stubborn =).
It is INSANE to have 3 hours worth of homework in elementary school - and even MORE ridiculous to have that much in the early grades.
I have read lots of stuff about 504 plans and IEP's and such and wondered what the necessity was. Well, now I can see! If I had that kind of homework coming home I would be parking myself in the office until something changed - SHEESH!
HUGS to all of you who have to deal with this kind of stuff! I am soooo glad we don't!
I would contact an advocate in your area to see what rights your son has in a private school and fight them. As for transfering it is late in the year for it but is a thought for next year. I wish you the best Jill I have a Kindergartner who brought home 3 papers for homework the other day, 2 of them both sides. She was able to do it all fairly independantly with a little redirecting, but come on! She just turned 6 and it's Kindergarten...........I cant imagine next year. I always had to be right there for my oldest because of her issues, I was hoping this one would be easier, but I can't forsee that just with the amount of work that gets sent home...............What a morning! Jon really tried to do his spelling words but he got so frustrated that he was running up and down in his room while I pulled out my hair. I finally told him NOT to do the homework-
First- he told me his paper had to be set up the correct way or it wouldn't count. Then- he told me everything had to be in cursive or it wouldn't count. Like HorseMom's daughter, my son cannot write in cursive because it is unrecognizable also.
What finally made me say forget it- Jon was trembling! Yes, his hands were shaking! I asked what was wrong, was he feeling well- then I felt his hands and they were like ICE (we live in south Florida). This is crazy!! My son was trying so hard and was PHYSICALLY ill from this. I am not putting him through this anymore. I didn't realize before that he gets so stressed out from this. Poor child!
Report cards got sent home over the weekend and he got an F in math and a D in spelling. The rest were A's and B's. But do you know what? My 9 y/o got straight A's and a B+ in spelling and his teacher wrote: "If you studied harder you could do better" Can you believe it? Do you know how he felt when he had tried so hard? This is nuts.
You know, when we go to work, we work and then come home and can do other things (most people, anyway). But when our precious children who are only 5, 6, or even 14 come home they are expected to still work for hours more. In the days of Abe Lincoln (Jon's report) most kids didn't even go to school for 3 days a week. Even in the early 1900's kids went to school and then came home with no homework and they learned MORE than our children do now. Sorry, I'm venting now, also.
You know Diane, I was thinking the same thing not to long ago. Trent has missed because of the 2 surgeries. Well he was out 3 days after his hernia/testicle surgery and then he was out 8 days with his foot surgery and he had a minimum of 20 pages to do with the first surgery and the second surgery, well we still haven't caught him up on those. He had 3 huge stacks stapled together. I mean come on he was in the hospital for 3 days, when we got home he was on valium and oxycodone for the pain for 3 days then valium for the remainder of the week. So he only had sat & sun before he returned to school, there was absolutely no way he was going to finish it all. And of course if he has any school work he doesn't finish in school they send it home so we are constantly fighting a never ending battle. He just turned 6 as well. I think all in all he had like 50 something sheets. give or take. I understand alot of that was cause he wasn't at school so he had to do the school work and the homework but good grief. isn't that a bit of overkill on a child who has adhd not to mention hello he just had major surgery on his foot. lol
but his teacher was very understanding and has been about the homework thing. she says if he's to burnt to color where it says color, just let him circle. so i'm thankful for that. cause there are times you just will not get a crayon in his hand.
[QUOTE=HorseMom] Two things. First, I would agree with your psychologist. If the school won't make accommodations, I'd pull him. It's very damaging to his self esteem and it's not worth it. It's crazy that they won't be more understanding. [/QUOTE]I agree.
Homework overload has been THE major issue for my daughter. (I have posted about this in the ADHD and Schools forum.) It started to become a problem around third grade. However the third grade teacher was very willing to accommodate.
In 5th grade we hit a brick wall. The teacher thought it was perfectly fine to spend 3 hours on homework each night.
It is TERRIBLY stressful, damaging to self-esteem, counterproductive, and as someone else pointed out, destroys the child's love of learning.
Finally we were able to get a 504 plan which saved us from the overload. Let me tell you that the school's Principal had an entirely different point of view on homework!
She said "You can't just keep cramming learning into kids." However this year, at a new school, we have been struggling again. This school is not willing to reduce homework, but will allow it to be turned in late, which works to a point... We love the school and the teachers otherwise, so when it is too much I will just keep talking (complaining
) to the teachers and keep working at it.The national PTA recommends 10 minutes per grade level per night as a guideline. So in other words a first grader should have about 10 minutes per night and a 5th grader should have about 50 minutes.
I hope all of you who are struggling with this will keep complaining and working at this, because obviously you are not the only ones with this problem!
jon came home with two homework misses. And his teacher sent home his book report which is in Jon's words and I scribed and wrote that the principal wants Jon to write it himself. there is no way short of torture (and maybe not even then) that Jon can do this tonight. I thought that this was taken care of but find it is not and they are not giving an inch for jon to accomodate him.
Jon is so upset that he put on his robe as pants and won't take them off. He says they make them feel better.
randyjim you need a new school. Absolutely crazy.
Tinadoherty, how wonderful for your son on his essay, I would also look at schools for him, there are schools that fuction differently. If not, agree to sign off on his homework that the time is 1 hour 10 minutes of working time. That is the "rule of thumb" 10 minutes per grade WORKING TIME. So if like y daughter every 2 minutes, they get up for a drink , than get up to go to the bathroom, then find a new pencil, it'll still tkae 2-3 hours. Last year I started using a timer so it was say 15 minutes each subject, so you have to spend 15 minutes working on language, THEN you can get up and use the bathroom or get a drink, or whatever excuse she had, then go on to the next thing, she eventually stopped the getting up and down and we've had a good homeweork year. Her somework is heavily modified though due to other learning disabilities, in the past they didn't modify well.
Randyjim,
Has your doctor written a note saying that your son needs reduced homework? Won't they respect the doctor's opinion?
randyjim,
It makes me angry to read that your son's school does not accommodate him. My son (12, ADHD/inattentive) has a 504 plan that covers accommodations from granting him more time on tests to only having to do 50% of the homework the other kids get.
This has worked for a while, although there are nights where Sawyer just can't focus on anything. No matter how much he has completed, once it's 9:30pm I tell him to go to bed. Homework can NEVER be more important than my child's health and wellbeing! I read in one of the posts on this board that the recommended amount of homework for a child is 10 minutes per class level. For Sawyer that would be 1 hour and 10 minutes. I like this idea MUCH better than the 50%, because it ensures that he always has some time to relax or play during the week, no matter how bad his concentration is, while still doing homework.
I am going to contact the school and ask for a modification of his 504 plan from the 50% of homework to 1h and 10 minutes of homework. I know the school will only do it if they have my committment that I will see to it that Sawyer does the best he can in that time frame.
Luckily, I have some leverage, because he is very bright and aces all his tests. In spite of him barely doing any class- or homework he grasps new material incredibly fast - his Math teacher said that he is the brightest student she ever had, and that the "old hippie" in her wants to give him the A he really deserves instead of the C or D he gets because of missing homework. His vocabulary is also astounding, and he can write college-level essays (complete with perfect grammar and spelling) if he's interested in the subject. A recent example - the assignment was a persuasive essay about a rule at school. He chose to argue that recess should be granted to higher grade levels as well as the primary ones, and he just blew me away. There were sentences that could have been lifted from an Op-Ed piece in the NYT!
The ideal thing would be for me to homeschool him, but I can't afford to be a stay-home mom. We need my income. My thinking is, the most important thing is to provide a nurturing environment at home. If that means mediocre grades in school, well, so what? He and I know what he's capable of. Frankly, 100 years from now people will look back with HORROR at our 21st century educational system, which applies the cookie-cutter approach to ALL kids, instead of discovering, nurturing and CELEBRATING the kids with an extraordinary perspective of the world. OUR kids are the ones who can "think outside the box" and will come up with the next ground-breaking invention or technological breakthrough! If you look at the true pioneers of mankind you will find an inordinately high percentage to have suffered from ADHD!
In light of this, what's a few missing homework assignments? As long as I know that my son is learning I'm not going to sacrifice his self-esteem or well-being for a stupid A or B.
Sorry for the rant. It just makes me SO ANGRY sometimes!! 
Tina, I really like what you had to say. Have you read the books by Doctor Levine that Horse Mom suggested? I think you would appreciate them. Is your son in 7th grade then? I wonder, like Diane suggested, if there are any other school choices available for him. Or if not, maybe when he gets into high school, he could take classes online and kind of half homeschool. I'm sure it would be great for him to be able to be in a less restrictive school situation.
randyjim is the public school not an option for you guys? I think you may have better luck with services. Especially where he has a Mom like you who is right on top of things. Our school is doing everything they can for my daughter (with my pushing via and educational advocate). They really dont have anyway out of it if you know the right way to ask.
Oh randyjim, how horrible!
Your son is doing 100% of the thinking, you are just doing the writing. I would get him out of that school if I could. They seem like idiots. If you stay there, I would get an advocate. Could your doctor or the school write a letter to the school explaining what he needs?
My son's school hesitates on the reduced homework load, but they do let me scribe. I would stress again- he is doing 100% of the thinking, you are doing the writing. Maybe it is time for one of those voice to text software programs.
The funny thing about the spelling words is that for kids with that big of writing difficulty, writing them down is not even helping him remember them like it does most people. They are having to focus all their attention on the mechanical aspect of writing. My son is a good speller and would usually have them all down by just going over them verbally with me once or twice. Took us about 10 minutes. Then he would spend three times as long writing those dang words out.
A child with handwriting problems is not going to improve by spending hours writing a report. They improve by doing short sessions of writing often. It is better to write three sentences well every day then to spend 3 hours one day writing a report that would only take most kids a half hour to write.
My heart goes out to you. Please know we are thinking of you and let us know how things turn out!
inspiredbymusic,
When I first heard about the online HS option I was immediately excited. I think it would be perfect for my son. He'd be able to learn at his own pace, and not get frustrated with the "constant repetition". I believe I'll be able to spend a couple of hours a day to support him in this approach.
Another thought I had - he may want to just get his GED instead of wasting more time in HS. I work at a college, and by chance, when he was 11, he took the online admission test we administer to applicants. It was mainly to keep him from being bored while I finished up my work that day. When the results came through email I couldn't believe it... he scored a 20! The passing score for admittance to the college is 13, and most HS Graduates (as well as returning adults) score no higher than 15!
He is in 7th grade right now, and unfortunately we cannot afford to send him to a private school. I looked into a Montessori Middle School that I thought would be a great fit for him, but they charge almost 0 a month for tuition! A couple of other private schools I checked offered scholarships, but they require a certain GPA, which of course he doesn't have... because he's in the wrong school! Sound a little like Alice in Wonderland, doesn't it. Which fits, actually, because I seem to alternate between feeling like the Mad Hatter and the Queen of Hearts sometimes... lol
Tina- what a good idea for your son to do the online highschool. When children are allowed to pace themselves I think they learn more with less pressure.
As far as Jon- I called his psychiatrist and had them lower his meds to 40mg strattera. I also told them what the school said about Jon and his homework. Jon came home with two more homework misses today and I am not worrying about it. He also has his report to recopy. On Monday my husband and I go to the behavioral psychologist to find out how he scored on the testing that was done. I am going to bring the rejport to the psych and see what he says and see if he called the school. It may be time to pull Jon from there or have a lawyer speak to them.
I agree that Jon can't concentrate on writing and lerarning at the same time. that is not how he learns and the school does not acknowledge that different children learn in different ways.
You all have given me ammo in case there is a final meeting with the school. Thank you.
Let me know if you need any resources. I have walked the gamut and I'mhappy to help in any way I can. There is a lot of research on your side... all
you have to do is tell the school you are gathering documentation for an IEP,
and they WILL offer you a 504 plan - it's easier for the school than the IEP,
and you still get what you need for Jon. In any case, do not let them
intimidate you! This sounds corny, but Jon just may be the person
distributing to some cruicial problem in the future; it is only too well
documented that the "powers that be" have failed to support the true
innovators of their time in any age! I believe in your son; so you do, and it's
time for Jon's school to do likewise! Do not accept anything less! :)Hi Diane V. We took our children out of public school because of the lack of cooperation and the absolutely horrible education. Our school district has been cited by the government for not complying with the laws. It really hasn't improved much. But- I think the anxiety and stress is starting to change Jon and not for the better. He is developing a hard shell I have not seen before and it is deeper than the medications could have changed. I need my sweet smoosh back and I think homeschooling without the pressures will do it for him. Thanks for the suggestion- where we lived before, the public schools were terrific and they were so wonderful and understanding. Jon did so well and was a popular boy.
you really are kind of stuck. I am sorry for you, the system should be there. He is lucky homeschooling is an option. Even if temporarily. A family member of ours had a son who was having a HORRIBLE time at school. She homeschooled him for two years until he matured and until she could place him out of district (she ended up at a catholic middle school) and he has done wonderfully since.
We are in a different boat here. School has been accomodating, but with recent testing we've requested the're not educating her and have agreed to place out, so we are now on a mission to find the right placement. It never ends huh? Good luck.
Tina- the school is a private christian school and they say they don't have the money or personnel to cater to Jon. Monday we are going to the behavioral psychologist to get the results of Jon's testing and I know that Dr.Pete will act as advocate or just tell us to remove him. He is really angry at the school (the dr.) and he contacted a lawyer to ask about the legality of what they are doing. The funny thing is that our children go on a scholarship called Florida Pride which is for people with earnings of less than a certain amount. My husband is a trooper and they do not earn a lot. But if I take the children out of the school they lose their benefits for good.Randyjim, wow that really stinks about losing the benefits if you pull your kids out. What a tough situation! Is the school working well for your other kids though? If it is, then maybe you wouldn't need to pull them all out. Just a thought.I hope everything goes well with the doctor and that he's able to get some helpful information from the lawyer. I hope you are able to find a wonderful solution for your son.
Diane, I also hope that you are able to find a great situation for your daughter. Good luck.
Tina, we can't afford private school either
, but are fortunate to live in a state that promotes charter schools (publicly-funded, privately operated). It is great to have at least some choices and options as far as your child's education is concerned, because one size does NOT fit all! I also wondered if your son is able to be in a gifted program at his current school? Seems like he should definitely qualify!