Got the report today. | ADHD Information

Well, I got the report in the mail today from his psycologist and come to find out, one of the dx that he put in the report was ODD. I know he is very stubborn and likes to argue but I had no idea that the doctor would have said this as well.

Now I have to figure out how to deal with my step-dad about this because he(my step-dad) upset me the other night....let me explain.

It was bedtime and I told Tomas to turn off the DVD player so we could go to bed. Of course he tried to argue with me and I told him again that it was bed-time and he could finish his movie the next day. He got angry but he turned it off and gave it to me while telling me how mean I am.  In the meantime my step-dad was in the kitchen getting a drink and when I walked around the corner with the DVD player in my hand, he was looking at me like I was crazy with a smirk on his face and when I looked at him and said "What?" he then said "I was wondering who the adult was in there" and I was like WTH. I did not allow my son to have his way and it actually was no big deal. It makes me wonder what exactly he would have done differently.

Now... knowing that my son has been diagnosed with ODD sheds a whole new light on things like that. How do I try to make people like my step-dad understand that? I have learned I have to pick my battles with my son and I do not argue with him. He is only 7 and is not the adult. It just seems like some people expect me to punish him because he says I am mean. I am the mom, it is my job to be mean sometimes.

Today my 8 y/o said I was mean and tore up his picture of me that I had given him. Don't take it personally and don't worry about it. We are not mean, we are firm. Punishing your son is great for him because he has pushed your button and is controlling YOU. You did EXACTLY the right thing. Next time (and there will be) don't say a word.

Maybe you could treat your step-dad like your son- if he knows you can't push your butoons maybe he will stop after awhile.

YOU DID GREAT! YOU WERE AWESOME!!!

I think it's a generational thing.  I don't know about you, but if I had argued with my parents at that age I would have gotten spanked.  My parents are the same way- after all the years they spent butting heads with my brother you would think they would understand why I choose to ignore DS and pick my battles.

My experience has been that some people are just not willing to try to understand- as a result I have very limited contact with much of my family.  I would think getting them to understand ODD is even harder than getting them to understand ADHD.  With ADHD they can at least observe the innattention and hyperactivity, but if they are inclined to think that the child's problems are caused by poor parenting I can't imagine it being easy to explain that it's a disorder that's causing him to be obstinant.  Man, do I sound negative.   Sorry if that's not very helpful. 

Whenever my dad told me no about something when I was a kid he would always tell me that he got paid extra for being mean.  That's become one of my favorite lines with my kids whenever they tell me I'm mean.  It will often diffuse the anger a little too, when they go, hey wait a mintue- you don't get paid to be a mom! 

[QUOTE=jaderock54]

IWhenever my dad told me no about something when I was a kid he would always tell me that he got paid extra for being mean.  That's become one of my favorite lines with my kids whenever they tell me I'm mean.  It will often diffuse the anger a little too, when they go, hey wait a mintue- you don't get paid to be a mom! 

[/QUOTE]

I love this line...I might try it with my son.  My son can be difficult at times when he doesn't get his way...he's doing great at school and at other functions...it is just the home situation.  I know my son knows how to push my buttons.  I'm working on the ignoring certain situations.  I love my son but wow he can truely get the engine roaring. LOL!