Anyone Identify With Me? | ADHD Information

How do you find 10 mg of Ritalin LA to work for you?  More importantly, have you told the dr. how the meds. make you feel?  I hope that your dr. is willing to listen to you.  If not, you need a new dr.!  I'm 16 years old and have been exploring ADHD medications for about 8 years now.  haven't found anything that works good for me yet.  everything makes me zombie-like, causes mood swings, makes me constantly depressed or unenthusiastic about life.  I'm currently on Ritalin LA.  It seems good every time I stop taking it for about a month or two, and then start taking it again.  Then I'm good for about 2 weeks and soon after back to normal (normal as in zombie-like).  I find that the main problem is low self esteem.  Ritalin really depresses me for some reason and decreases my confidence.  I'm prescribed 20mg of Ritalin but this is too much for me, so i take about 10mg out.  I find that when I take the whole dose of 20mg I get forgetful and can't seem to manage my normal life style.  For example, I forget about upcoming tests and homework assignments which are ever so important in this part of my life.
So many things are wrong with ritalin, when I think about it.  The huge rebounds at the end of the day, and still not being able to sit down and do homework unless I absolutely force myself.
My neurologist has just recommended I try Concerta and Strattera (I've tried those in the past)

Medications I've tried in the past:
Ritalin SR
Ritalin
Ritalin LA
Concerta
Straterra
Aderall

I find that Ritalin makes me shift between moods very very quickly, but shift between modes of action (quiet studying / socializing) very very  slowly.
Anything anyone says can get to me very quickly when I'm on ritalin and that's just unbearable.  My girlfriend broke up with me because I could not hold a stable relationship.  Kept changing my mind about everything and feeling too insecure in the relationship.  Kept getting my own ideas and obssessing about them all the time.

Off the pill, I just can't stand myself.  I don't have this much experience, but after  a long period of taking ritalin, when I stop taking it i just can't perform any task.  I feel constantly annoyed and can't complete anything scholastic or self-improving.  I'm not motivated to do anything - even not play or watch TV, because I have a weird feeling in my chest, which is all I can think about.  Kind of what a person would call the feeling of irritation, just that it's constant.

Sometimes late at night or early in the morning (at weird times) I'll suddenly feel like what my idea of a normal person is.  I feel like doing something self-improving and I feel confident about myself.  Maybe this is what a normal person with ADD (or ADHD ) would feel like.. I don't know what my case is.. but I'm motivated to do stuff

edit:
at evenings after taking ritalin I can suddenly be very relaxed after the pill has worn off and the rebound is gone.  Probably because my brain might be over-worked with the stimulants it receives during the day.  At this time I can perform tasks like going to the gym and running, and sometimes even doing homework if I'm in a good mood (which doesn't happen a lot lately)
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