ADHD kids are always 1-2 years behind socially/emotionally. i agree, if he's academically on-target, holding him back could just cause more problems in the form of boredom and it's a hit to the self-confidence. sometimes they move ahead by leaps and bounds in social understanding on their own. my daughter made huge gains in 2nd grade. i'm sure the teacher has good intentions, but i dno't think she "gets" adhd.
i also don't understand why a may bday is the youngest in the class. the youngest would have a december bday and the oldest would have a january (or mid-december) bday. your child should be one of the oldest in the classroom. the latest cut off age in certain states is december 2nd, and in other states it's in august, and i think all of the rest are in between. how could be the youngest??
have him spend every summer day in camp, full day. emerse him in social exposure. get those social story books targeted at kids with autism. they have a very pragmatic approach to social issues and work well -- they state the incredibly obvious that a lot of adhd kids just don't get when they are young. like reading facial expressions that indicate someone does not like what you are doing, etc. read them daily. i think you can get a series of books. try a social skills class with an occupational or speech therapist. you usually have to do cold calls to language centers to find these. have 1:1 playdates and pay very close attention, so that when it ends you can re-inact some of the interactions and show him what he could have done that would have worked out better for him. in other words, you should probably spend lots of time (and money) making some social gains this summer.
Use a reward system. no temper tantrums for the day, and he earns a certain number of marbles that he can use to trade for something.
also, you might need a medication adjustment. that's a really low dose. maybe the temper tantrums are related to that.
Jessica N39533.8496527778
I'm sorry, I don't have any experience in this, other then they are suggesting that I keep my son in kindergarten again next year. I don't know what I will do. After seeing the improvements he has made already, I don't know that I will let it be an option. There are so many things that make me not want to. #1 being that she discussed it with me in front of him so at home he asked me about it and I told him it was an option that we might have to consider. He asked me if he would still have the same friends in his class. I told him no. He broke down adn started crying. He begged me the other night, that he would do anything. I feel so bad, I wish he hadn't heard her discussing it. But whats done is done.
Others are telling me it wont hurt him to let him repeat kindergarten, but this year he is already the biggest kindergartener in the school. Shoot when he was in pre-k last year they thought he was a 1st grader late for school. lol And he would be 7 yrs old in kindergarten, and I really don't want that.
But I have to put my wants aside, and think about what is best for him. Not just in the moment but in the future, what would be the best for him academically in the long run to make him the best he can be.
Sorry to ramble, in my opinion I don't know that I would retain him strictly for immaturity. I don't know what extreme it is, but it seems to me that he will eventually catch up to others. Maybe I'm wrong as I'm a newbie when it comes to dealing with adhd etc. My son has had it since 2 but only diagnosed last fall.
You as his mother will do what's best for him though. Just weigh your options, listen to yourself and I believe in the end us mothers always do whats best, even if it doesn't seem like it at the time. Good luck with whatever you decide.
I agree, and I definitely am not closing the door. But I will not make the final decision until he's completed his hours at sylvan and the school retests him, but this time I want to be present when they do. There are some discrepancies that I see that I am questioning a bit.
Certain things lead me to think things, and I just want to see for myself. I will try to explain:
She tells me to tell Sylvan NOT to work on rhyming with him, because they are doing that at school NOW. Then today she tells me thats his biggest struggle, he just doesn't get it.
She gives him a satisfactory the first 2 quarters for prints letters. Then the 3rd quarter, he does it for sylvan but not her so she gives him an unsatisfactory. I understand she has to see it for herself to give him the grade and thats fine. But then why the Satisfactories the first 2 quarters. I don't get.
One day its one thing he's really struggling in, then he catches up or gets it and then the next day its something else. I don't know I am just a paranoid mom, trying to protect her son and I'm getting a weird vibe.
I believe emotional immaturity &n bsp; is common wih adhd.
if a child is doing well acedemically i dont see the point of holding them back.
social frustraion is almost always present with adhd .
I would save the hold back for a later time.
i think children can only be held back twice . also if a complete change of peers is nessasary just move him to another school district rather than repeat a year based on emotion issues.
no disrespect intended towards the teacher
but will holding him back solve his emotional issues . I would pass him on to the class and save the hold back for a year where he's failing.
frustratin can occur acedemically and we adhd we speaking for myself act out emoionally . so im not suggesting this but putting this out as an option.
summer school in the next grade up rather back. I beilieve doing this will expose the student to the lessons easing acedemic frustrations once regular class begins. this also will help by puting the child with older children that are acting mature er and working on those social issues he will come in contact with.
so im not suggesting sending off to sumer school to let the teachers handel it alone but to be available out in the lobby if he has an emotional outburst so that this type of enviromental condiiotning could tolerated with a minimal amount of disturbance to the summer class.
momofLJ, I tend to agree retaining in your situation is probably not the answer. Good social skills classes are a better option. Either through school or an outside place. There are more and more fo these around these days. Some do weekly classes, some do summer camps, It's worth looking around. Does he have friends?
brtsdq3 in your situation not as clear cut. I personally think retaining in earlier grades (K,1) can be extremely beneficial when children are behind across the board. Maturity can skrocket in a year at this age and the basics are all about repetition. I'm not telling you to keep your son back, but I would keep that door open. We kept my my daughter back in Kindergarten, she is STILL below grade level in academics and socially in 7th grade (but has multiple LD's). It was one of my better decisions. It helped her with some of the basics she didnt have and even just stamina without the pressure of first grade. There's no rush to reaching graduation .
IMO holding him back probably won't help, taking out his tonsils won't help either. If anything holding him back a year when he is academically ready to move up is a mistake, and will probably land a huge blow to his self esteem. If he is getting good grades and doing great academically holding him back will only make him bored learning the same things over again. Then when he is bored and knows what the teacher is teaching already his behavior is not going to improve.My son has ADHD and a sensory disorder (sensory seeker). We were told near the end of kindergarten that he was not ready for first grade and a spot was being held for him in next yrs kindergarten. This was at a small private school, with an experienced teacher. Very very hard decision. He has a July birthday. His behavior doctor agreed, which helped tremendously. He did repeat kindergarten at the same school. It was damaging to his self esteem and continues to bother him. Luckily, we moved and he began first grade at a new school where no one knew his background. He simply was not where he could've been and I appreciated having academic professionals on our side. He is now in second grade and I clearly see the benefits of repeating. Glad I did it then, because repeating 1st or 2nd grade would've been very difficult. Recent studies show that a child repeating any grade after 4th grade suffer on many levels. In retrospect, I should've started him in kindergarten a year later and avoided the emotional trauma. He is my first child. At the time, he was behind socially and academically. Good luck with this tough call.
Trixila