The relavence to ADHD in this is that I am, its not actually a questions about adhd.

I have been in a relationship about 4 months with a wonderful woman. (for a change) We even waited 2 months to fool around, so as to not complicate things. If you look up true love on google it pretty much defines us. She has just bought a house and last week she told me that she was stressed over moving and thought that we should "Slow things down."

Since then we have had some problems apparently based on what my interpritation of "slow things down" means.

Can you guys tell me how you would take "Slow things down" in that situation?

Thanks

Speaking as a woman....

It means you're hovering (which seems strange telling a guy that... usually it's the other way around), and because you are (southern phrase warning) "ate up with her", you are crowding her.  She's feeling stressed because she just got a new house, has stuff to unpack, rooms to decorate and on top of that she's really starting to feel the pressure of that monthly house payment.

Simply put, she has stuff she needs to do and she can't concentrate on it and get it done with you wanting to be *ahem* up underneath her.  Give her some space, tell her if she needs help packing/unpacking, moving heavy stuff, you're there for her, with a "call me if you need me".  Seriously, she has got a lot of crap on her plate and your bugging her (not that you are, I'm sure you're very sweet and helpful), wanting to/being around her is just creating more work.  Face it, we ADDers can be distracting. 

Leave her alone, offer help if she needs it, check in 2-3 times a week with her and that's it.  And tell her that you DO realize that she has a lot of stuff to deal with right now, and that you're going to leave her alone and not bug her.  When you check in, offer to bring by supper so that is one less thing she has to deal with, share some Chinese and then get the hell out of there.   Your thoughtfulness will speak volumes.  Trust me on this.

have you ever listened to Pink's song, Go Away? If not, listen to it. If she's an independent woman, and it sounds like she is, then she just needs some space, to enjoy her house/nest/independence.  Really. Unless she's giving other signals that she's losing interest, that's all she wants. She's in a love affair with her new house. It's understandable.

If in doubt as to what she means by "Slowing things down", ask her. 

I purposely left the description vague to see how close my idea of "Slow things down" was to other peoples.

Thank for both the insight and advice.  

My suggestion would be to ask her over for coffee or dinner (to your place so you're out of the mess that is her house at the moment) and tell her you're a little confused about what she meant by that, and that you're really into her (avoid using that "L" word) and you don't want to screw thing up, so you need her to tell you what she needs.

Like the others said, she could just be feeling overwhelmed right now, or it could be that she needs more time to figure out how to deal with her feelings for you, or your feelings for her for that matter.  I'd been seeing my husband for only 3 months or so when he told me he was in love with me and that kinda freaked me out and I did need a little time to deal with how I felt about that and how I felt about him.  He totally respected that (and asked me to be specific about what I needed him to do as far as giving me space) and that made all the difference in the world.  I wasn't very successful at "taking things slow" myself- within a year we'd moved in together, gotten married and had a baby, and on top of that he had gotten a new job and I had quit my job, but we've been very happily married for 9 years now.  I don't know that we'd even be together if it weren't for his willingness to give me space to figure out what I needed.

So talk to her- the worst she can say is that she's not sure but she'll let you know when she figures it out.