Anyone else have a child like this? | ADHD Information
How about a clinic in your are or a behaviour health center that might work with you on a sliding scale because of the insurance? Call the hospital and ask.
Insurances suck! How can they NOT cover ADHD specific therapies or meds!???Crazy I tell you!
Good luck!
Sally,
Have you tried a support group for parents in your area with adhd kids? You might be able to have play dates with their children for your son. They would understand the behavior since they are going through it and you would find comfort from another adult going through the same thing. Just a thought.
My heart goes out to you guys. My son has gotten better with age and meds. He had a hard time making and keeping friends. He is 9 1/2 and has been able to have a best friend for over a year now. It helps that the friend is a year younger and they always play at my house. I am able to keep an ear open and remind my son when he is being unfair or too silly. Hopefully age and your constant coaching will help him learn to do the things that come naturally to all the other kids. Hang in there and I wish you and your family happiness and peace.
Gail
gail196839540.3961689815
I know that everyone writes about this stuff but I had to write about mine.
My son is 7 1/2 years old and needs constant attention. I cannot walk away for more than 5 minutes and he is calling for me. I cannot get even a few minutes peace for myself. He complains about everything all the time and is never happy or satisfied. He has no friends to play with in our new home. Within 2 weeks, he had alienated himself already. When he does have someone to play with, it is his way or the highway or he complains about them right in front of them ( even after I ask him not to) and they don't come back. We are on meds and I try behavior mod when I can. I cannot really watch all his play dates anymore due to his age. He has this high pitched squeal that he does at odd and inappropriate times and he has no inside voice at all, no matter how many times you ask him to lower his voice. The sound level in our home is ridiculous. We have lost friends and we cannot socialize with other families unless we go out without kids. No cookouts or barbecues with other families because my son cannot play nicely. His little brother is now suffering because of his big brothers behavior.
I am afraid that this child will be a loner and outcast as he grows up. I don't know what else I can do for him. I have tried to guide him and give him advice but I told hubby at this stage, he will just have to learn to entertain himself because what else can I do? I cannot fix it for him and he does the same repetative behaviors over and over. Is there anyone else out there who has a child like this
is he in any kind of therapy? A therapist can help with some of this social stuff. Through play he/she can teach him how to respond appropriately, to wait his turn, help build his his self confidence. My daughter is very very needy for attention. I think a lot of it is uncertainty in her own choices and a lack of self confidence. He may boast and brag and complain to overcompensate for unsyrety. He KNOWS the reaction he'll get for the way he acts, but at least he knows whats coming.............................one thing I've learned over the years with my daughter........I cant' do it all........I need help helping her.we were in social skills therapy but after 3 months, insurance stated we had "maxed out" and would not pay for more. I wish he would go to therapy.
I wonder if my son really understands how his behavior affects others. He acts before he thinks. Kids are mean to him and yet, when it happens, he is upset and hurt as if he never thought anyone could be mean to him. I know that I cannot do it all for him and I feel bad for him. I put the ball in his court by telling him that we gave him the rules for friendship and he can either use them or not and if he has no friends at the end, then so be it, there is nothing much else I feel that I can do.
He, of course, states he will try harder and behave but........inevitably, he can't and he is left alone over and over, alone on the playground, on our street, no b-day party invitations, no sleep over offers, nothing.
they don't always take this stuff well from "Mom". Would insurance cover individual therapy? It's not the same as a social skills group, BUT they work on the same stuff.I guess I can try but they stated that if the word ADHD was listed on his paperwork from the therapist, they would not cover it. They consider ADHD to be a mental illness!!!!! Hubby's job is closing in a few months and we will be getting new insurance. I guess I will see what it is and what it will cover.Sounds like my son when he was that age. Medication helped him settle some so he could pick up on social cues. Sometimes I wondered and still do if he cares what others think. In some respect socially he just doesn't get it (he's 17), but does have a few friends who accept him in small doses. I used to have to have his friends come over, and he always asked me to be there with him, because "I behave better". I think it was because he didn't have the ability to internally control himself, but knew I would help him. He used to make high pitched screaming noises all the time - like self stimulation. Thank goodness it stopped. He will get better at socializing with time. We seem to teach, practice and role model social skills but they don't seem to be able to stop and use the skills they know they should use. I have to keep reminding myself that they tend to be 3 years behind. My daughter is 14, and has always wished they could get along better - they only really get along when they are getting into trouble together (usually ganging up together against parents- little buggers). She does get embarrassed about him still, and doesn't understand why he does what he does. I think we will all be a little relieved to see him go to college in Sept., living in residence, near us. It will help him get the reality of adulthood a little more than he has now. Good luck with your son things get better over the longer term, nothing is short term with this kids.
My son exhibits some of the characteristic you have mentioned. I have of large family but thankfully they are very patient with my son. even the kids as much as they can be. So I have no problem with his interaction with them (most of the time)...but I too cringe at the idea of a play date. My son is very hands on, jumpy, loud, etc.
He is also very very clingy. He refuses to go the 2nd level of our house after dark. He has to hold my hand tightly when we go up the stairs because he is scared. When I cook, he's right next to me in the kitchen. When I sit down, he sits right next to me. When I go to sleep he lays down right next to me and gets really close and i have to hold on to him really right. Last night, it was an hour past his bedtime (i was running behind on dinner), and i told him to go upstairs and get ready for bed while i do the dishes. He refused. Started crying (not one of those whiny i want it my way cries) but one of those emotional real cries (moms, u know what i mean). He was terrified. I asked him what does he think will happen if he goes upstairs in the dark. He said he's afraid that he will get executed by aliens! wtf! Aliens executions?!
Wish I can offer advice..but i am going through it too. I need advice as well!
Dear Long Sally,
This sound something like my ds (Age 8) also. His friends are few but we have found a couple with similar activity level that he gets along with. It does make them both crazy but my dh just lets them run wild (I can't bear to watch). When he was younger we would just go to the park and meet up with people or find someone new. We are not near any ADHD specialists so a social group is not available. Tae Kwon Do has helped some since many of the kids are hyper and are being taught to control themselves. For instance, they sit still and meditate for a few minutes and whomever moves too soon has to do push ups. 
Good luck,
Liz
well, the drs office called me today. We had an appt for April and they cancelled it and pushed it back to May. Anyway, they have increased his Foculin to 15mg in the am and 10mg in the afternoon. I think personally that the Foculin, after almost 3 years has stopped working. I have had NUMEROUS people tell me that they have had great success with Adderal and if I don't see a great improvement in my son in the next month, I am going to ask for a med change.longsally ~
I had some pretty difficult issues with my DD's 3rd grade teacher. Anything she could have done wrong, she did. My DD really liked her but it was creating havoc in our home. The therapist said that she gets really mad when schools have teachers that do not understand children. She told me to insist on a meeting with the teacher, school social worker and the principal. Of course this was after months and months of issues.
My point is that you should not hesitate to insist on a meeting with this student teacher a.s.a.p. I have found that new teachers often times think they are much better/smarter than most parents -- and they don't hesitate to try to do the job for you. What they are really doing is making things worse.
well, today I picked up my son from school, he got in the car and IMMEDIATELY started to hysterically cry. I asked what happenned, he told me he pulled a purple card ( the worst one to pull at school) and he was very afraid about what hubby would say and do to him. He was crying so hard, he was unable to relay to me what happened, actually telling me that he felt he was " having a breakdown". I wrote a note to his teacher who wrote back to tell me that he has a student teacher in the room and apparently she is "quick" to have the students pull cards and is VERY hard on my son as she see's him as a "disruptive influence" in the classroom. The teacher told me that she would monitor the situation a little more closely and that the student teachers behavior will be pointed out to her at the end of her teaching term. crazymom24- I come from a military family and I know my older son was sent to Seoul when he needed additional dx. See if you can meet with a liason med officer to find out your options. Best of luck.Angie_78 ~
What type of problems do you have with your son?
The boy across the street actually asked my son to play today. He came over and they played in the backyard for a while. I monitored and tried to direct when I felt it was necessary. Case in point, my son kept asking this boy to leave the yard and go to the "secret club house" even though this child was enjoying our swingset. I intervened and told my son to let him play and go with the flow. He didn't and I reminded him again when he went in to "help me" with the drinks.
Anyway, after a short time, they headed out and were joined by one of the two brothers who live in another home across the street. They ended up in their backyard on the trampoline and them they had a water fight in bathing suits. All was going well. ( I monitored the water fight from my driveway).
The problem? Those two brothers and rude and pushy and I haven't liked them since day one. During the water fight, one of the boys told my son to stop spraying him. My son responded that when he had asked this boy to stop spraying him, he didn't listen. The boy said " so what ". I looked right at my son and said " spray him" and he did.
As my sons meds started to wear off, as he got louder and louder, more bossy and I didn't hear anyone elses voices for over 5 minutes, I ended it by bringing my son inside. Not too bad for a start I thought, atleast they asked him to join in. That was a big difference.
My son is exactly the same. He is 7 also. I don't know what to do with him. I'm kind of new to this ADHD thing, as he's only been diagnosed for 5 months now. But I must say that he has a big problem with friends and i can't take him anywhere. Everything is a battle.. going to bed, going to the store, putting on a shirt, picking up toys, eating dinner, EVERYTHING!! Is it supposed to be this way? I am having such a hard time knowing what is ADHD and what is just him. Or is it him? I don't know. I'm still learning, but my son sounds a lot like yours. I feel your pain. I mean, even kids he likes he can't be around for too long. It starts off ok but any little thing that happens that he doesn't like sends him into a whole nother world and he is totally unmanageable. He cries about everything and argues with me about everything. There's so much attitude. But as a professional, i agree that therapy is needed. I think we all need help (me, dad, and son) to learn how to deal with this and each other. It is so stressful. Good luck to us all!Angie- For discipline try 1-2-3-Magic. it is in bookstyores and online. I use it on all my children and it works for them but you have to be committed. When one of my children (6,8,9) do something wrong I will tell them- That's 1. I then count to 10 or 20 and if they are still doing it I say- That's 2. If they still don't stop I tell them to - Take 5 (that's 5 minutes out in the bathroom). For dangerous or outright disobedience I just say Take 5 or Take 10. If they are having a tantrum or screaming I tell them to Take 10 in their bedroom. If they are still screaming etc after 10 minutes I say Take 10 again. I do it until they are calm. If they ask how many minutes are left, etc I start the timer over.
Crazymom24- Call your doctor and tell him what is happening. No, it shouldn't be like this. I hope you have taken him to a specialist who knows ADHD and meds. Good luck.
randyjim: unfortunately I am a military spouse and we are in Germany!! We are in a closing community that is being shut down in June. There is a rather good doctor here who does know about ADHD but i wonder if there might be someone better? I do like her though as she is very caring and knowledgeable... she is also a Christian, which means a lot to me. I am hoping when we move to the new town, we will find a more experienced doctor. There is a big medical center there so hopefully we can get the help we need. Thank you very much for your comment!
HELLO MY NAME IS ANGIE I HAVE A 6 YR OLD SON THAT HAS A COMBINED TYPE ADHD AND DO NOT KNOW HOW TO HANDLE IT CAN YOU GIVE ME TIPS ON DISPLINE HIM IM OUT OF CLUES ON WHAT TO DO