Hi! Has she done this before? If not, why not just look at it like any other childhood poor choice? My oldest, who does not have adhd, skipped band for two weeks when he was in the fifth grade and hung out in the bathroom with a friend instead. In all that time the band director and the classroom teacher never spoke, none of the kids told (although all the rest of them knew what was going on), and my son never acted like something was goin on. Eventually the director called the teacher to find out what was wrong with my son and his friend because they were in the same class. When the teacher asked the class if anyone knew where the boys where, all the girls raised their hands and the boys just looked at her! Busted! It never occured to me to look at this as anything other than a little childhood rebelliousness.
What I'm trying to say is, I wouldn't assume that this incident requires a med change or that one could even help this kind of decision-making. It sounds like a teachable moment about making the right choices instead of something that needs chemical intervention. IMHO.
BPQW39545.4685069444on monday my 10 year old dd rushed out the door to make the bus. she has a bladder of steel and must not have gone before school. she wet her pants at school, on the way to the bathroom:( needless to say...i wasn't pleased to have to go get her and take her home for new pants.
tuesday...she must have been doing her own thing and missed the bus in the afternoon:( off i go to get her...not real pleased again:(
friday i get a call from the principal. my first call/issue with school so far. my dd and her best friend decided to take it upon themselves and leave social studies and go and help out the librarian organize their books, etc. this they love to do. they came up with many other ideas...go and visit such and such teacher in the adjoining school, etc. needless to say, it's a safety issue and the principal said that they weren't honest with staff that approached them that asked what they were doing. plus, the prinicipal said my dd did not look remorseful in the least.
tomorrow my dd has to go to school, but spend the day near the principal and do her work there. and write apology notes to all, she missed 2 classes with her friend.
my dd said she didn't talk to the principal when she got lectured/questioned...she said she was scared and she didn't want to start crying. she did cry when she got home.
anyways...tomorrow will be a tough day for both her and i. i asked the principal if she knew my dd was adhd when she called and she said "no". my dd said she just didn't think of the consequences...
i'm questioning whether a med change would help? she's 10 and she's been on ritalin LA 20 mg.
i hope that tomorrow goes well so this is done and over with...i don't think she'll do the roaming in the halls/walking out of class again. i truly believe she was led by her friend...but it takes 2, she didn't stop doing the roaming/lying either.
parenthood...it's definitely not easy at times. this week has to be better:)
any advice from those of you out there? we did "ground" my dd over this weekend...i did have her practice writing apology notes so she does that sucessfully tomorrow. she definitely "gets" the severity of what she did.
shelley
shelleyA39544.7929050926She may need a amed increase, but I'd give it another wee to see how it goes. I think 2 weeks is a good idication that there's an issue and it wasnt just maybe she was getting a cold, or there was something happening at school causing stress, all kinds of stiuations that maybe were happening to cause her meds to not quite compensate.
thanks to all of you for your nice replies. my dd chose to take the bus to school like normal. i already left the principal a message on her voice mail about her weekend here at home, grounded, no tv, etc. i did tell her via vm that my dd just shut down in her office, she said she didn't want to start crying. one of my best friends is the PTO president, who will be meeting with the principal mid day today, so she'll see my dd then. she's aware of the whole situation...and she said that she'd be sure to tell the principal what a wonderful home my dd comes from, etc. i just hope my dd has a good day! as much of a good day that she can have working in view of the principal:) i hope she does well with the apology notes that she's going to have to write today...an example is in her backpack.
my hubby last night said that he truly thinks our dd matured heavily over the weekend. hopefully it will be a good learning experience for her. eecckkkk!
we'll continue to monitor her closely as far as med change. it truly is hard to know what is best. she's who she is...she's "wired" differently than some as my hubby says...we just need to do our best to help her in life:) we just want her childhood to be a happy one!!!!
have a great day everyone!
shelley
Don't let the princial's comment about lack of remorse worry you. If you felt she was remorseful that is all that matters. Outsiders can't read our kids like we can. It could be the meds- or maybe just a bad week- it is so hard to say. If she hasn't had any behavior trouble all year until now, I would say the meds have been working pretty well- to this point at least. She started off the week with a terrible Monday- wetting pants actually may have been somewhat traumatic for her. Perhaps the subsequent negative behavior could have to do with the stress she experienced from that.
Here is to a better week- Chin up.
I hear you on the hard to parent at times. If all of these incidents just recent I wonder if something is going on at school causing some of it and my girl too is influenced by others. So in a quite moment talk to her about what is going on at school and run over scienarios with her and discuss thinking things through before acting and use what happened as her learning experience.