1)The ability to tell someone "no" is key to living with this frustrating affliction. I have a tendancy to overload myself by accpeting projects (personal and professional) that interfere with getting the work that I'm supposed to be doing done. When I was in College I stopped going to class because I couldn't take notes the right way-I'd write down what I thought was important and then realize I had missed the whole point. I ended up buying class notes because mine were worthless, I also recorded lectures so I could go home and listen to them with headphones on to try an absorb the content. I graduated and all that but I still have really big time management issues and don't know how to prioritize tasks so that the right things get done. I think those of us with adhd/add think we can get way more done than we actually can, I know I have issues with thinking I can get a million things done in one day and then looking up at the clock and it's 4 pm and I haven't gotten anything I set out to do done. I guess that's the focus thing.
2.) I'm utilizing an improvement plan that my supervisor has me on and we meet every 2 weeks to update my progress. Being held accountable by someone who doesn't judge you (someone who isn't a family member for example)is really the only way I can stay "on task". Having a written document outlining what we talked about, where I was, where I am, what I'm going to do to get where I need to be really helps with follow-through.
3.) I'm using an egg timer/stop watch to section off chunks of time devoted to a specific project (I tend to get side-tracked on waste a bunch of time on something that's low on my list of priorities). When the time is up I move on to something else, if I didn't finish I plan another time chunk for the next day.
4.) I list 4 things each morning that I need to accomplish, 4 is a good number because it doesn't feel overwhelming and if you get done early you can add the next most important thing. If you don't finish all 4 it doesn't seem as bad as looking at the "to do list" that is 23 items long. There are only so many hours in the day.
5.) Make sure you take care of you, prioritizing youself over others may sound selfish but what good are you to someone else if you're obsessing about the project you didn't finish or angry that people are not appreciating what you do?
Are you taking medication or trying to use alternative methods to help your adhd/add? Other people will understand that you need to focus on school, you are not the only person who thinks they can get it all done and then realizes the whole day has gone by without any progress. I'm still frustrated like you are, I'm not in a place where I feel I'm "working smart, not hard" but that's my goal.
OK, I need about 5 really good ones!