I can't imagine how difficult it must be to deal with this in another country, without the suport of family and friends. I want to urge you to really educate your husband about adhd and help him understand that it is not something your son has control over. My mother took a very similar stance toward both my brother's and my own behavior, telling us many times as we got older that if we would just pray more God would "fix" us- we have both been dx'ed with adhd in adulthood. I can't tell you how painful it is to live with someone who has that attitude (even if they aren't verbalizing it), but I'm sure you already know that.
Do you think it's possible for you and your son to come back to the States, at least temporarily, until you can get a firm diagnosis and effective treatment? Since he has such trouble transitioning I'm sure that all the moving and adjusting to new cultures is exacerbating his symptoms to a large extent. I know you must really value your work as a missionary, but it sounds like you won't be able to focus on that until your son is getting effective treatment.
Something that's helped a lot of the people around me understand better is actual accounts. I searched through many diffrent forums and found thigs that related to me and my symptoms and helped explain what I was going through and felt and printed them out and asked them to please take the time to read them. I also did this at work. People all understand a lot better now and don't think ADHD just means I can't control my energy.
This has been alot of help: http://www.adhdnews.com/testforum/test873.htm
thank you for all the replies.
I thought the Neurontin was for biopolar disorder. At least that is what the doctor told me. Can you explain to me why Ritilin would make Biopolar worse? Honestly the doctor I took him to did not even want to give him Ritilin. I have found it does help me to settle down. There is not any BD diagnosis as of yet. It is a possiblity. I've read a bit about the combination of the two and some things fit while others do not. He seems to fall into the "ODD/ADHD/depression category. But sometimes he seems quite high and I can't even get through to him. at bed time especially but maybe that is because he has no ritilin in him at all being his last dose was at 12noon. They don't have any long acting drugs here. Maybe we will have better resources in China. We will be close to Shanghai which is the biggest city in all of China, and has the most resources I think.
My husband will read what I have given him, he said. I just want what is best for Sean. We can't go back to the US right now. Ben and I only married a year ago. He is still waiting on his VISA to the USA. HE is not American, but rather from Ghana. So we are using the time waiting for his Visa to do missionary work, for me to get teaching experience, and we can live quite comfortably financially here. But Sean is not doing well, which puts a strain on me quite frankly. I thank God for giving me all the stength needed thus far.
I honestly hope my husband is right in some ways. I hate to play the medication game for the rest of Sean's life. I faught using meds for 5 years and now the poor guy is 9 and can bearly read and hardly pass 1st grade.
It seems he is doing better now with Ritilin. I noticed when he missed Neurontin that his rage got much worse. So I think it is helping.
Dawn
oh and I plan to take him to Singapore to have him assessed again. I just hope we can find the right plan of action to help Sean.prayingmom
welcome. You MUST be exhausted! It's hard enough dealing with these kids, but doing it alone and in a different country makes me tired thinking about it!
When you say BD, are you saying possibly bipolar disorder? If so it's very likely the Ritalin is not helping. You may want to talk to his docootr about stopping his meds ofr now and start fresh once you move. Has his moods gotten worse since you started meds? Stimulants can be tricky if used with a co-exisiting mood disorder.
Dear PrayingMom1065- A lot of times children need their medications changed. I have been through quite a lot with my son Jon who is 8 1/2. We went to several healing ministries in cities far away to have prayer for Jon. We tried every adhd medicine there is and his behavior, although helped for a while, deteriorated. Now he is on a mood stabilizer, depakote, and an antidepressant. Don't give up!! This is not a behavioral issue!! It is a disorder of the chemicals in the brain!
Since you are the one dealing with the fallout from Sean's behavior on a day-to-day basis it is probably up to you to take him to the doctor and have him diagnosed. If it is BP, ritalin and other stimulants will make it worse. The BP needs to be treated first.
You can help educate your husband on these disorders by purchasing books on them and suggesting that he read them. Or have him go on the forum or speak to your doctor.
We are all here for you! God bless you and know everyone here has been through pretty much what you are going through and is willing to help.
Hello,
I"m new to this forum and this is my first time opening a topic. I hope to get some good advice and support.
My son is diagnosed with ADHD and the doctors suspect BD but say he is too young to diagnos. I plan to have him further assessed in another year.
My husband and I are missionaries and our son is now 9 years old. He has struggled with adjusting to living abroad understandably. I have been very much against medication until I brought him here to Indonesia and attempted to home school him. It was a disaster. After much prayer and consultation from his psychologist in the US, I took him to the best doctor in the city and he prescribed him Ritaline Short acting and Neurontin. He has now been on meds since November and started attending a school here in January. For the first month, he did very well in school both academically and behaviourly. He went from not being able to read at all to being able to read at first grade level. Behavoir seemed to be ok.
Then a month into attending his behaviour went very bad. He would not sit during lessons, was climbing the window bars in the classroom, and climbing up on top of the bookshelf. He was impulsive, throwing things, and eventually he hit another student. He was suspended for two days. I had his Ritilin increased a little, and he went back to school. At home, things have also been stormy. Daddy is away working in Africa so I'm alone trying to deal with his fits of rage, constant disobedience, and blantant disrespect.
I had a meeting with the school and they said they were willing to work with us and would not give up. They said that they want to help Sean and as long as we keep the communication lines open and I support them it will all be ok.
Sean went back to school after the Easter break. I called the teacher warning her that Sean tends to have a difficult time transitioning from a break, and to alert me at the first sign of trouble, so I can deal with it right away.
Every day, they said no problems had occured. This went on for two weeks, until two days ago, I was informed Sean had thrown a ball in the face of the principal in anger when he could not get his way. And they decided to suspend him for two weeks. I pleaded with them to reduce it to one week which they agreed to finally. They also informed me Sean was very naughty since coming back from break. He has been calling teachers "stupid" and refusing to work. But I was upset because this was the first I had heard of this.
I only have another month here and then we will be moving to China. I plan to take him to another Psychologist/Dr. prior to settling down in China.
My husband does not think Sean has ADHD or BD. He believes he has a serious Character issue of self centeredness. He does not believe medication is a lifelong answer and only supports him being on medication until we can deal with him behaviourly. Meanwhile he can't be here, leaving me with all this stress while trying to work full time as an ESL teacher and also continue church duties. I'm exhausted.
Any support or suggestions would be very welcoming.
they might need to change his meds.