Puberty and ADD | ADHD Information
not yet, but not looking forward to it. Mother's & doctors have confirmed that meds may need to be changed. What used to work seems to have stopped for them.
we are weathering the storm, but with a girl.
I'm not sure how much worse it is than a non ADHD'er. Hormones are just unpleasant . We changed meds so much pre puberty I cant comment there. Right now our meds are doing what they're gonna do. Life's not perfect, but it's fine.
Okay, my DS (13) is, as we speak, in the kitchen playing with a penicil and he should be putting the dishes away ~ It takes him at least 45 min to unload the dishwasher! He plays with every utencil he takes out. I wish he would write down the "movies" that are in his head, he would make millions! Anyways, (as you can tell, I think I know where he got his add, I should be cleaning my house right now!
) my question is about puberty, we have been doing pretty good so far, but what can I expect as far as teenage boys and ADD? I know everyone is different and everyone is on different meds, but if there is anyone who has weathered the stormy waters of puberty and ADD, I would love to hear from you! Thanks! He is on Concerta and takes it around 7am -
I wonder about this too. My son has these mood swings that if I didn't know better I would swear he was a PMSing woman. And just like a woman he get this way once a month or so. Do men PMS?CristyK1 ~
Yes, as a matter of fact, men do PMS - sort of.
Science showed that men experience the same hormonal shift that women do - BUT they do this in a 24 HOUR CYCLE, whereas women do it in a 24 DAY CYCLE. So men actually PMS once a day!
Seriously.
HAHAHAHA! Amen sista!Mom o'4
I didn't answer your original question--I have noticed that the hyperness is changed, he tends to internalize it much more. (I am also ADHD and we appear calm on the outside, inside I am boucing all around.) He isn't boncing off the walls when misses his meds, he is just pure annoying. He like to poke you and that drives me crazy. We also have a problem with cussing. He is too big for me to wash out his mouth.
We are going through the anti-bathing stage. I started buying him Axe soap and manly deodorants to encourage it more. When he does get in there, he stays for quite a while.
Oh yes!!! the feet. My son was into 10 and halfs this spring. His feet are long and narrow, which is good because the rest of us have wide feet and all sorts of problems getting shoes.
reruho, that is so funny because I remember being so shy about everything and not showing or telling my mom anything! My 13 year old on the other hand is the same as your son, not modest at all! Too funny, I guess boys don't care as much! He is now 5'6 and his feet are as big as my husbands! It's going pretty good so far, I have noticed a little anger but not too bad, I was just wondering if the ADD symptoms get worse or better with age. Thanks for all the imput! As far as puberty and ADHD goes... other than trying to help him handle his anger, when his bedroom door is closed, don't open it without knocking first, and even after knocking, don't open it right away.My son is 13. He is involved in puberty as we speak. Our issues are varied: lack of confidence, lack of planning skills to be able to get together with friends, negative self talk, outbursts of anger, at times bordering on rage, defiance, laziness, messiness, hurting himself - intentionally and not (he is clumsy), mustache, being as tall as mom, bigger feet than dad, etc. Oh, and being very handsome. Girls are starting to take notice. He is starting to not tell mom everything like he used to, and won't tell me who he thinks is cute, etc. He is starting to separate himself more and more. He doesn't always need a hug like he used to. He is embarrassed to be around mom at times. Etc. This is just one kid and all are different. Also, he is only 13, so we shall see what else is around the corner.Good luck.
My 12 year old started puberty over a year ago. Aside from the physical changes, our main issue has been had been anger. I switched doctors from pediatrician to a psychiatrist that specializes in ADHD. We had an argument and he grabbed my arm. I discovered he was extremely strong. The new doctor diagnosed he as being depressed, which I can see now but not back then. He is now on Lamictal to stabilize his moods. It took 2 months but it has helped and we are all much happier.
About the physical changes, it can be kind of embarrassing for everyone involved. My son has become very well developed and it seems to popping out a lot. Also, it tends to be erect quite a bit. I have gotten rid of the boxers and switched to long legged briefs. My son informed me he was going to sleep in the nude, thinking it would get a rise out of me. I told him I didn't care as long as he had a pair of pants besides the bed for him to put on. Waking him up in the mornings can be an adventure because I am not sure what I will find. My son isn't modest at all, so that adds to the adventure. Dad needs to get ready for a discussion about masturbation. Dad also needs to talk about keeping yur clothes on, my son likes to run around in his underwear.
I think the first 6 to 9 months were the worst, I think the hormones were raging wildest. Now that we are more than a year into it, the hormones seem to have leveled off.
Oh yes, we switched to vyvanse (30 mg) a year ago and we have increased (now 50 mg) about 6 months ago.
We are also having issues with taking his meds. He doesn't think he needs them and I know his does. I don't give his a choice, I wake him up with the meds and a glass of water in my hands.
I also make him take fish oil, magnesium, a multi-vitamin vitamin C and calcium. He complained and I suggested if he ate healthier (more vegetables and dairy) I woud eliminate them. He chose the supplements.
reruho39556.7660300926Mom o'4
Sounds like your son is my son's long lost twin. Ha Ha Ha!!!! That is really a scary thought at the same time. I thought they destroyed the mold after my son was born.
He spent all day Friday at home in his underwear because he waited until he was out of pants before he put them in the dirty clothes basket. He really didn't mind too much. For him it was a great excuse to not go anywhere. I refuse to go get his dirty clothes out of his room.
I am teaching him how to fold his clothes and operate the washing machine. At 13, he starts doing his own laundry. I will wash his white clothes because he has so few, mainly socks. He will only have two loads--jeans and t-shirts.
reruho39557.8693981481That is great news Diane. I hope it continues.
I have found that enlisting the help of my son's friends help to get him to do certain things. They will listen to their peers when they won't listen their parents.
The hair is a big deal because he has long hair.
He has done all kinds of things with toothpaste other brushing his teeth. Once he complained that his skin was burning. I found out that he had washed his body with toothpaste, the whole tube. He only did it once.
reruho - Sounds like we have the same son! He does the same thing to us, poking, tickling, even annoying sounds in our ears
He also has trouble in the hygeine area, I have to check his hair to make sure he actually washes it, and don't get me started on teeth brushing
He goes in and plays with his toothbrush! -too funny.
He still forgets everything, leaves clothes on the ground, looses everything - His doc wants him on 72mg of Concerta, but he gets really mellow, almost depressed when he is on that dose, it would probably be good for him during the week, but it's hard to see him like that. 36mg seems just enough to take the edge off and help him calm down a bit. Thanks again! :)
I have to pipe in a bit . My daughter is also 13 and I LOVE hearing others bad self grooming stories, mean of me huh? Sorry 
. I, a few months ago, started AGAIN washing my daughters hair for her (it's harder for girls to have greasy hair), well, the past month or so, she has really started to care about her hair being done, and blow drying it, never forgets her deodorant (we had MAJOR issues with that earlier in the year ). Today I left her alone to shower and get ready for the day while tkaing my youngest to a bday party. She actually showered washed, blew dry, AND FLAT IRONED her hair 
. Made herself lunch................ok ready for the kicker, CLEANED IT ALL UP!!! Turning 14 in August.
Soooooooooo hopefully we're seeing a mcuh awaited light, but more likely is I just jinxed myself.....................
the teeth issue..........well still trying..................
Ha,ha,ha,ha! Too funny! I shaved his head because it got so bad! Diane V, you give me so much hope! I would faint if my ds did all that and cleaned it up!!!! That is great! Thanks! I thought I came in the wrong house...............Nicely done. Good for you. I have told my mother countless times that I am not a child, but she still treats me like one. Oh well, you can't change anyone but yourself. This thread is heaven to me! My son could be the triplet to the two boys here mom o' and reruho! I actually had a TOTAL meltdown last week not realizing that by 13 these kids are a hygiene mess - still I JUST found this website, and it has been a blessing. If you have a chance, read my postings under the heading of (I think it was) ADHD/Anger/EDF. I was really having a bad week.Here is my latest problem: my son doesn't seem to want to come to my home lately. His grandparents spoil him rotten, and want him all the time. [My feelings are starting to get hurt.]
Parents have different relationships with their kids than the grandparents do and ours is no exception. He has less to do at their house and they follow him around with a broom in one hand, new games, clothes and toys in the other! [He is their only grandchild - and they waited a long time for him.]
They are retired and have all the time and love and patience in the world. Meanwhile mom and dad are working full time, tired, overwhelmed with bills and everything else in life, poor, and have and enforce rules.
I have even had a meeting of all of us that lasted 2 hours (me doing much of the talking) about how important it is to have equal expectation levels at all homes, and schedules, etc. (We were all in agreement - yet nothing has changed so far.)
It is weird to have been waiting for "freedom" and to have it come in this sort of way. I don't want this kind.
Anyway, back to hygiene: I have started using cues all morning long to help him realize how "quickly" time flies. It is helping a bit.
The mess and losing things - that is another matter entirely.
Hope you all have a good day. Yme!39562.7265972222
You don't have to be a young mom to get this attitude. I was 28 when my daughter was born. My dad was treating me like alittle kid and making comments about my parenting skills at 30.
My dad has pretty much been a bully all my life. During one of their last visits I stood up to him and life has changed. They live in the country and I live in a big city. During the visit we were going somewhere in the car and he made a comment about my driving. I asked him he wanted to drive, otherwise be quiet. That was all it took.
He,he,he - It could take years of therapy for me to learn how to deal with my parents!:) Right now she wants me to take the straight approach and just lay down the law. I try but its very touchy dealing with parents, I walk on eggshells. I just wish they would try out therapy! :) Since I started going, I swear I want to hand out cards to people on the street! Man, so many issues could be avoided if people would go talk to a third party!
The thing that really bothers me, is that my son is old enough now to know what is going on, and see them going over my head. That will be tragic during these teen years if I can't get a handle on it Thanks for the support!!
You need to find the back-door. I call it "back-dooring" someone when I manipulate them into doing what I want, without them having a clue what I've done ... So, for example, I wanted my husband to limit the time my step-son spent on the computer playing games. He would alternate between watching t.v. and playing games - drove me nuts. But I knew if I said to my husband I thought he spent too much time in front of the computer and t.v., my husband would just poo-poo the whole thing and act like it wasn't a big deal. So instead I found the "back-door" by telling him that I thought the girls (his daughter and my daughter) had a fight brewing over taking turns on the computer games. I said I thought we needed some rules to avoid any problems, and what did he think of limiting all 3 kids to 30 minutes a day? Making an exception for the boy wouldn't be right, would it? It's got to be fair, right? Hehehe. THAT is how I was able to limit my step-son.
Perhaps this can work on your parents? Or, if all else fails, give me their phone number and I'll yell at them for you.
Mom o' 4 ~
Oh my gosh! I am so mad for you
Hehehe.
I know what it feels like to have people sticking their nose into your parenting. I was a single parent for a long time and lived with my sister. My brothers wandered in and out too. ALL of them thought they knew better than me and judged the way I parented. Drives me bonkers!
Your parents needs to be made to understand that this situation is not what's best. Your therapist is right - they need boundaries - but I cannot imagine it is easy to do. How did the therapist suggest you go about this? I mean, I know what I would do if it were me - I'd have completely freaked out by now and exploded on everyone
But that's probably not productive
I also was a young mother (these are his father's parents) and am about 10 yrs younger than most of the moms I meet at school functions. My son's dad is 11 yrs. older than me and their other son never had kids. So, my son is like a pot of gold to them!
I am happy about this. Without their support and help, I would be screwed. Well, in all honesty, I would have had to move to the other coast and moved in with my father as I simply can't do this solo. My mother and one sister live here and they are absent essentially. My sister and I don't speak. My mother is "too tired" to do anything with my son.
So, I am grateful. When my health issues flare, they are a call away. They have helped me over and over and over. How can I be anything other than grateful?
I have explained to them in terms of my son's ADHD how he needs things to be. Things aren't changing.
In my opinion, it is perhaps 3 generations of men with this in his family. So, when his grandpa is watching him after school-neither he nor his grandpa remembers to look on the computer to DOUBLE CHECK what homework has been assigned, rather than my son's "I did my homework" that he gives us everyday, all the while forgetting at least one thing.
Quite frankly, I don't know how this is going to work out.
Oh, and to Mom o' 4: I was also a young mom and my mom and all of my family think I am totally a large failure and incompetent in every way. I totally get it. My mother still talks to me like I am 15 yrs. old. Like, uh duh! I have lived alone for years now, like hello?? Jeez.
Here is my latest problem: my son doesn't seem to want to come to my home lately. His grandparents spoil him rotten, and want him all the time. [My feelings are starting to get hurt.]
Wow! I actually have been dealing with this for SOOO long! I was very young when I had my son, so my parents helped me out So much, plus my step dad never had children of his own and I think that they think of my son as theirs sometimes! Or at least that they have rights to him. Now I have been married 9 years and have three other children, so I am a proven "Big Girl" now, but when it comes to my oldest, my parents still think of me as an 18 year old. Now he is 13 and totally manipulates all of us so he can go over there and stay almost every weekend! I now use my parents house as a reward system. But I totally feel like I am overrided by all three. My therapist says I need to set boundries with them and stick to them, but with the guilt trips I get from them it can be so hard. My step dad will say, "You know, he needs his own space, and he gets it here" like I am a bad mom because I want him home to be with his family on the weekends. On Fridays its just a given that my step dad will pick him up from school, and they get movies and he plays on the computer, stays up late, ect. All great things, and great memories for him, but I feel railroaded. Oh, and it's not the same way with the other grandchildren at all. Not to mention they don't like giving him his meds, and don't understand how sleep is SO important for him even on the weekends! - Sorry, your post got me all fired up! :) he,he -
YUP we used a timer for a long time. It really does work. So you get them in the shower set the timer for 10 minutes and leave. You get 10 whole minutes, that can be heaven .
Yme, I used to feel the same about grandparents houses. It was really hard for me as my first husband passed away when I was pregnant with my daughter. So needless to say his mother (and mine) DOTED on her. Very understandable, but difficult for me on the other side. PLUS hse has all these issues so it really is worse, than a typical kid as you all know. BUT on the other side of the coin, I've just decided she deserves the break with them, I am the nag and harp on her (because I have to) so I try to just enjoy the break I get form her when she sees her and the break she gets form me. Not much else we can do..................
My son cut off his shoulder length blonde hair on Thursday to a short boy haircut. I think I am the feeling the loss, not him. It almost summer in Florida and it will be hot soon. He likes the short hair because it easy to take care of it.Has anyone used a timer to help remind them? I am thinking about using one with my son. He has no concept of time when gets in the shower. (But, who does when the water is hot and feels so good?)
Mine has problems with time, too. I found that if I put on his favorite cd and tell him that he has until X song is over that it works better than the timer. He likes the music and will sing [if you can call that caterwauling singing! lol!] in the shower. The timer frustrated him. Just a thought.
YMe,
It is hard when the kids want to do more with the grandparents. But ,it does not reflect on your parenting abilities. Every child will reach out to another adult[other than his parents , who of course, don't understand him]
Encourage his relationships with his gps. At the same time, keep reminding the gps to follow your rules,you are the MOM. As agp I know how hard it is to think of my kids as the adults and to try to things my way.
So when my grands come to stay, the parents and I have an agreement. They have to follow my rules at my house[mine are actually stricter, though the kids don't think so] However, I refuse to agree to anything that the ks want to buy or go to, without their discussing it with their parents first. There have been many times the kids have wanted to do something and I was game but mom said no. Even if I think that she's unreasonable, I have to bite my lip and remind myself that she's the mom. Kids need to see that even grandma has to abide by mommy's rules
I have a wall clock in the bathroom that is visible from the shower or the sink.
Has anyone used a timer to help remind them? I am thinking about using one with my son. He has no concept of time when gets in the shower. (But, who does when the water is hot and feels so good?)