Need help DESPERATELY for 18 year old son | ADHD Information

Hi I say move his room upstairs and lock the downstairs room if necessary.  He needs to be under a closer watch by the sounds of it.  My older brother had two boys he adopted one acted as you describe about your son and the other one became a police officer.  My brother finally did do the tough love thing and kicked the troubled one out.  He had a few years on his own barely getting by with her guys, stole a car for a joy ride and ended up in a juvenile detention center almost like teenager prison.  He came out of there and got his act together and is now married with a baby and is the best dad and husband you would ever want to meet.  He has had many jobs over the years but he tries hard and is a very very nice man now.  He was not ADHD but he was diognosed with fetal alcohol sydrome in his teens.  Sometimes you have to get tough but my heart does go out to you.  I remember how hard it was for all of our family to watch him derail.  Take the first step get him upstairs, into counseling and back on his meds and off the pot for sure.  Good luck.Dear lord do you have it bad here!!  I would suggest the following: one, if he is to remain in the house you have to set up ground rules.  If he breaks them, there needs to be consequences.

Rule #1: meds aren't optional.  You MUST be present when he takes them, watch him swallow them, check in his mouth, etc.  Bipolar and ADHD and drugs=a prison terms around the corner if he doesn't get IMMEDIATE interventions.

Rule #2: Illegal drugs are illegal in your home, and out of it too.  He MUST participate in regular drug testing while in your home.  If he fails, or refuses, you contact the police. PERIOD.  Why?  Believe it or not, but there are worse things than going to jail for drugs. (Even if that is what they would do-which most likely is not the case.)  I know someone who even though his parents ended up having to take out a retraining order, they didn't turn him in for drug abuse.  He ended up shooting and killing 2 of his friends instead and will now either be killed or spend the rest of his life in jail.

Rule #3: He needs to either have a job or do VERY well in school.  He isn't allowed to quit or get fired.

Rule #4: Even though he is your child, he is 18.  Your younger child is a baby compared to him, and deserves better than having drugs blown on him.

You are enabling him to do whatever he wants if these rules at minimum aren't established and enforced immediately.

Sometimes kicking the birds out of the nest is the only way to see if they can fly or not.  Sometimes they fall on their heads.  But, when they come back to the nest, they will not take it for granted.

Contact his dr.  Contact the police.  Contact whomever you can and see if they have ideas for help.  I pray I am not in your shoes one day.  I may very well be.

May only good things happen to you and your children.
My 18 year old son is ADHD and Bipolar, he's stopped taking his meds, but he's ALWAYS been really difficult. Well now he's hanging with the wrong friends, and is failing all his classes, so I've got him in the school GED program, but he can't pass the GED test. They have instructions for part of the day, but he won't go. He started driver's ed, that I paid 0 for, but failed to finish that. He's been suspended at his trade school for smoking on school grounds, he's at his 3rd job in 7 months, and then last night he was in the basement with his 12 year old brother and brother's friend I overhead him talking about how great pot is and when he gives them some, they are really going to like it, etc. etc. I told my husband, and he went downstairs and said he was really scrambling, and it smelled like pot, but he said he was burning incense. Anyway, I had the 12 year old come up stairs and sent home his friend. Oh, on top of all this, he is a compulsive liar, he will not tell us the truth about anything! We told our 12 year old he's not allowed down in the basement in Bryan's room when he is home. I don't know what to do? Do I kick him out of the house? I really need some help?

Thanks,
Kathy