18 year old son & really need HELP! | ADHD Information

Oh, Kathy, you have a lot on your plate.  I say that as someone, who sympathizes and can relate, since there are some similarities to your situation and mine with my 16yo DS and his antics.

I can only humbly remark (having already raised one child, who was not challenged with ADHD) about strategies with our second child that I referred to above, ADHD:  In addition to accommodations in school for many years (however, he does not qualify for special classes), he is currently going through counseling, and has used meds without much success to this point (he is going to start another med soon).  My DH and I try sticking together and enforcing house rules and pointing out consequences for son's actions but I feel we still have an uphill battle with him. 

On the bright side, I have seen a wee bit of improvement in DSs attitude and actions, and I think (crossing my fingers as I say this) that he may finally be seeing the light a bit; that is, he has to step up to the plate, do his part, and be accountable for his actions, ADHD or not. 

It takes so much patience and work and jumping back into the ring time after time, doesn't it?

Best of luck to you and your family.  Keep us posted.

Ok, this may sound harsh.  At age 18, you can't make him take his meds or go to school or anything else a parent normally controls.  However, you do have the right to tell him that he cannot live in your home unless he goes to school, follows the rules and takes his meds.

   Teens with bi polar, etc, don't think that they need their meds.  They cannot see themselves spiraling out of control.  So, often the parent has to resort to tough love.[and, tough love is tougher on the parent than on the kid, believe me!]

  May I suggest that if he doesn't obey the rules that you contact family court and apply to have him placed on PINS[persons in need of supervision]  This places the onus on the court and relieves you of a lot of the responsibility of his actions[yeah, a parent is responsible for their chil's actions until age 21]

  Your ocal OMRDD services r disability office can help you with this.

  You are in for a rocky road.  I just want to let you know that there are many of us rooting for you.

A suggestion I may throw your way is our wonderful mental health system.  If he is not taking his meds, doing drugs, and basically a danger to himself you may be able to, with the help of his psych, have him checked into a hospital mental facility.  I can tell you from experiance it can  be an eye opening experiance for anyone.  Especially if you are checked in against your own free will because they will not let you leave tell your doctor feels you are ready.  It may sound harsh but it's much better then continuing to downspiral and possibly hurting your family, including your 12yr old son in the wake.My 18 year old son is ADHD and Bipolar, he's stopped taking his meds, but he's ALWAYS been really difficult. Well now he's hanging with the wrong friends, and is failing all his classes, so I've got himi in the school GED program, but he can't pass the GED test. They have instructions for part of the day, but he won't go. He started driver's ed, that I paid 0 for, but failed to finish that. He's been suspended at his trade school for smoking on school grounds, he's at his 3rd job in 7 months, and then last night he was in the basement with his 12 year old brother and brother's friend I overhead him talking about how great pot is and when he gives them some, they are really going to like it, etc. etc. I told my husband, and he went downstairs and said he was really scrambling, and it smelled like pot, but he said he was burning incense. Anyway, I had the 12 year old come up stairs and sent hom his friend. Oh, on top of all this, he is a compulsive liar, he will not tell us the truth about anything! We told our 12 year old he's not allowed down in the basement in Bryan's room when he is home. I don't know what to do? Do I kick him out of the house? I really need some help?

Thanks,
Kathy