yes they do attribute normal behaviors to adhd. the child is under the microscope constantly. they label. they all talk to each other. there are no secrets. you cannot get confidentiality. even the librarian, the computer teacher and the yard duties know. it's gossip central. some teachers will even discuss it with you in front of other parents (this just happened to me). you'll get more phone calls, more notes, more emails -- simply because they know.
personally, i do not think the school needs to know. if there is an issue or emergency you will be notified promptly, regardless of what they know or do not know. the benefits of telling them seem pretty iffy to me.
I told the school about DD"s meds, and I am happy with my decision. In order to qualify for accomodations the school has to know the diagnosis, and I do not feel DD has been labeled.I am of the mindset of Jessica N. When my son was tested and started to take meds in grade 3... no way was the school knowing about it. We tested him privately and did not reveal to the school or school board that he was diagnosed, or on medication.
He takes one slow release pill in the morning-- he is now in grade 9 and at this point I don't foresee any need to inform the school. The school he attends is academic based and not equipped to offer special ed and I don't want to give them any reason to have him transferred to another school. He is capable of doing the work and is passing his 2nd semester (1st was tough, but it was also his 1st semester of high school) and having a great time socially.
I'm not sure why it would be important for the school to know he takes ADD medication, unless they have to administer the mid-day dose, depending on what he is on.
Why not wait it out and see how he does, if it becomes clear that he is in need of special programs when he hits the higher grades, then pull out the diagnosis so you can get the help, but until then...you know, you are watching and monitoring, you are keeping an eye on his progress, you are figuring out how he learns and helping him at home... my 2 cents...
Vel
Hi there. My 5-year-old son is newly on meds, which have worked WONDERS. Anyway, I understand the importance of letting the school know he's on medication in case there is an issue, etc. That said, does anyone know how far we can make that info confidential? I really would like to limit the knowledge to the school nurse only ... I do not want the teachers to know. Based on my experiences, I feel like teachers sometimes attribute normal behaviors to ADHD and I want my son to have a fair shot and not be labeled. (I embrace who he is, but I know others aren't always so understanding, kind or informed.) I'm sure the policy varies by school district ... just curious of anyone else's experience. Thanks!
Hi,
We chose not to tell because he is already under a microscope (PDD) and I am sure they suspected ADHD. We finally had to share when they were threating to move him to another class because he could not focus. I begged and said we had just started Straterra. The pens went up at that point and they were all writing. The next day I was "in trouble" (so i felt) when they called me in to say they looked up the med and they should have known in case of an reaction etc. I am still iffy if I will share this with his kindergarten teacher in 2010. Now, they say..."oh he did not eat lunch" and of course in my mind I think they are mentioning a side effect.....I would have rather had them see the progress and not known. I am very private about his PDD, ADHD and any delay so I hate for he or I to be judged. My 2 cents....thanks for listening (reading)
I'm with Ava. I don't think that the teacher necessarily needs to know but the school nurse should know. I'm a retired nurse and retired EMT. My dh is the head of our local med team. Not knowing about the meds can cause problems if your child ever gets injured and meds need to be given. I think the hiding of adhd is what continues to make it a volitile subject. If more families came out of the wooodwork, others would see that our children aren't contagious.
Having my child hide his disability would create a doubt in his mind that he is not as good as the next one and that he is different. I have taught him to celebate his differences, as difference is what makes each of us unique. His adhd is as much a part of him as his hair color and his need to wear glasses. Having adhd doesn't make one less. Are we farmers or hunters? The evolution of adhd means that we were once the hunters and neeeded the ability to think a dozen thoughts at once.
I let him know that it is a family characteristic, that it is nothing to be ashamed of. It is who we are.
That said, I also let people know my feelings about the Americans with Disabilities act and discrimination. I don't tolerate discrimination in any form.
Thanks, Yme. The reason I asked this question is become of our experience in a peer-model program preschool. While my son had not been diagnosed with ADHD on entrance to the program, his teacher was convinced he was ADHD. The results were much like Jessica N's comments. We felt because the teacher thought he was ADHD, she would note every little thing he did "wrong" at school. When I went for school parties, I would see the peer model boys often acting in the same fashion but no such notes for them. We became frustrated because we didn't want to hear about every little thing he did wrong; we wanted to know about those behaviors that were above and beyond the "normal boy stuff." Instead it seemed even the normal boy stuff was attributed to her "diagnosis" that he was ADHD. When we started meds, our pediatrician suggested we NOT tell the teacher so we could truly see if there was a difference. All of the suden the notes home were very positive. Now that he's on the meds and being "good," we don't get notes at all. I'm glad he's doing great but isn't it funny how some teachers harp on the negative non-stop but quicly lose interest in praising the positive. All that said, I think the teacher meant well, which is why I hestitate to tell in case he gets a not-so-caring teacher in the future. Thanks again!if you choose to tell, i suggest that you do not provide your email address ... mine has been used to create a documentation trail ... with principal and RSP teacher cc'd only on negative emails. And they made it clear that the emails had been printed out for my child's SE file....
I guess it would depend on the relationship you have with the school and teachers at the school. I've been very fortunate that my DS (now 10) has had great teachers at a wonderful school. I rarely get e-mails unless it's to clarify a homework assignment, but I do get feedback from the teachers. From "it was a tough day" and what happened to "it was a great day" and why. All of the teachers have been nothing but supportive and helpful (including helping us get him the best teachers for HIM, getting us through the 504 and now IEP processes). Since the teachers spend much more time with my DS during the day, they have been able to let me know when the meds seem to stop working, if the new ones seem to work better, etc. Not once in 2.5 years have I ever had a "you won't believe what your child did" type of moment. If anything, they go out of their way to help him - and not just accomodations. Just last week DS's teacher helped him practice for the 4th grade school play tryout so that he would get the lead singing part he wanted (he loves to sing and is really good, but fear of rejection was giving him stage fright). Her help and letting me know what was going on helped us to help him. And yes, he got the lead.
So again, it really depends on your school and the teachers. I just wanted to post the other side of things since it seems like so many have had bad experiences with their schools.
Good luck with whatever decision you make!
[QUOTE=Jessica N]if you choose to tell, i suggest that you do not provide your email address ... mine has been used to create a documentation trail ... with principal and RSP teacher cc'd only on negative emails. And they made it clear that the emails had been printed out for my child's SE file....
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The document trail can work to your benefit also.............you can print and save (or forward) any correspondence.
Mom in KC
I have been going through the EXACT same problem as you. Even the problems w/ the preschool teacher going overboard in nitpicking on my son. We were exhausted from being met at the door every evening to hear every negative thing our ds did that day. Even when the other kids did the same or worse!!!! He was not diagnosed at that time but the teacher had decided he had ocd or aspergers (sp) syndrome......
We went to a behavior health facility and doctors and they ruled out aspergers but it could poss. be adhd or ocd.
We chose not to medicate at that time.
After a horrible 1st semester in kindergarten we chose to medicate and not tell the teacher for the same reasons you stated....and it was funny how all of the notes, calls , punishments and negative comments stopped but there was no feed back on the positive behavior for a very long time.
When the teacher finally commented on the change it was such a great day!! The teacher said he had finally "turned a corner" and matured....(ha ha) I wish I could tell the school, and I will if it becomes neccessary. But right now I just want ds to have a chance to see what it feels like to have his teacher think positively of him.
I know our small town dynamics . I know that there is no confidentiality. I know that children who have adhd are discriminated against and they and their families are judged harshly.
I want to protect ds from that so he can have all of the opportunites that everyone else gets.
But if and when the time comes that I need to tell the school to help ds, then I will.
I agree with Avamomof4, because my dh is also a paramedic and i'm going into Nursing school so she has very valid points...
BUT, Jessica has some valid points as well. I did tell my dd's K teacher she was on meds for the reasons Avamomof4 listed above...and I kind of regret telling her because my daughter has been labeled. I get sick of the petty comments I hear that "Oh Ellie did this, oh Ellie did that.." blah blah blah barf.
I think teachers need to be more educated on ADHD!!!
My child is five and is on meds. I told his teacher at the beginning of the year, and the school nurse that he is on meds. My nine year old started meds a couple ofmonths ago. He is inattentive. I don't feel that either of my children have been labeled. I haven't had any problems with either knowing. Personally, I don't care who knows. We chose to medicate for our children. They both do better on meds. I have not once received a phone call or note, unless it was warranted. Well, we haven't gotten any so far this year, haha. Now, we will probably get a dozen.
I am a nurse, and my husband is a paramedic, and I have the mindset that if there is an emergency, medics would need to know what your child is taking right then. I think that it would be in your child's best interest to at least let the school nurse have the information. My husband has ran calls where there wasn't even time to get information. They just grabbed the child and ran.
Good luck.
The emails and notes never end (oh, wait, if he's *perfect* for two weeks, they do). 70% of the communications are pure knee-jerk reactions; a complete waste of my time. Many of the comments are petty, it is really unbelievable. I guess it depends on your school. I don't know what the odds are of paramedics picking a child up from an elementary school.
[QUOTE=MominKC]Hi there. My 5-year-old son is newly on meds, which have worked WONDERS. Anyway, I understand the importance of letting the school know he's on medication in case there is an issue, etc. That said, does anyone know how far we can make that info confidential? I really would like to limit the knowledge to the school nurse only ... I do not want the teachers to know. Based on my experiences, I feel like teachers sometimes attribute normal behaviors to ADHD and I want my son to have a fair shot and not be labeled. (I embrace who he is, but I know others aren't always so understanding, kind or informed.) I'm sure the policy varies by school district ... just curious of anyone else's experience. Thanks!
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