i have spent a good amount of time with a close friend this past month and one evening she said to me in a nice way "you know it's okay that she's adhd, don't you". this comment hit home with me...we have so much to be grateful for, things could be so much worse. sure we have our daily struggles with her...and she's not miss popular by any means...but she's here, alive and healthy:) my hubby is on business this whole week and i've been single parenting, which doesn't happen often...so tonight i pulled both kids into my dd's bed and pulled out her first year scrapbook. they both enjoyed that:) my dd was a premie...a stressful pregnancy with pre-elampsia...which i attibute to her adhd by everything that i've read...brain development, etc wasn't the "norm" and my ob/gyn warned us in the hospital about LD's etc.
anyways...having a child with a disability/adhd or otherwise, surely changes a household. more challenging...more difficult...more everything...sometimes i feel i should be doing more, sometimes i feel like she needs to learn more things without mom's help:)
sure...i often wonder what life would be without adhd in our family...more calm i suppose...but tonight after looking through her baby book, it was another moment when i again realize how lucky i/we are. we're doing our best...she's not the mature 11 year old...she doesn't always fit in, but she does have some friends and she has us:)
anyways...i am so type A and it was good to hear that adhd in a child is okay from a close friend after a glass of wine:) this friends knows that i/we are doing everything possible in the parenting department, reading books, contact with teachers, etc...we can't change who she is fully, just work with what we were given.
i hope that this makes sense...i believe that i as a parent need to lower my expectations a bit...and focus more on loving her for who she is, without caring what the neighbors might be saying, etc. as i've aged i think i've become more "worried" about what others might be thinking...but i've also become more "accepting" as a parent of kid's quirks as well:)
i was the most difficult of my family to raise i'm told....and i turned out just fine-no adhd diagnosis for me though:)
anyways...we have a family birthday party here tomorrow night, my hubby comes back from business...and a kid party on sunday and i'm just going to do my best to accept my daughter for who she is and do all that i can to boost her up in life:) she's come a long way...but socially has a ways to go-which is the toughest to watch as a parent.
end of my novel...i just thought i'd chime in and say that i realize how lucky and blessed i am tonight. having her in my life has made me grow as a person more than i'm probably even aware of.
it could be much worse...bottom line!
hugs,
shelley
Just wanted to say - what a beautiful post! I agree with you totally, but I do have to remind myself of this often. Last week I had a few distraught moments as my ds (4) was having a horrible week at school. In our local paper I saw a death notice and article about a 4 year old boy. I went to the family's website and was completely heartbroken for them to have lost their 4 year old after a 2 year fight with brain cancer. Their son was an active, engergetic 2 year old & then things changed suddenly.
Stories like these make me realize how much I have to be grateful for. Happy birthday to your dd & congrats to you for finding acceptance!
Thank you. This really hits home.
So many times I find myself concetrating on the bad that I forget just how blessed I am.
your welcome...we survived the family party, my hubby got home safely from out of state...and i am hoping that the kid party at an indoor waterpark goes without any "girl issues".
today my dd was doing many of her "typical irritating behaviors" and it truly is so hard to be positive and understanding at times...but in the end, she is such a happy girl...happy and healthy-we are so lucky:)
6 girls at a waterpark tomorrow...with myself with two books to read *hopefully*! it would be great to see my dd interact with all of the girls nicely, appropriately and maturely...eeecckkkk! again, i need to remind myself to lower my expectations a bit and accept her for who she is:) she has so many good qualities that i sometimes fail to see:)
shelley
6 girls at a waterpark tomorrow...with myself with two books to read *hopefully*! it would be great to see my dd interact with all of the girls nicely, appropriately and maturely...eeecckkkk! again, i need to remind myself to lower my expectations a bit and accept her for who she is:) she has so many good qualities that i sometimes fail to see:)
shelley
Shelley, thank you for reminding all of us(through your own words about your daughter) that our children do have wonderful qualities that we mustn't ever forget, even through the roughest of times.
wow you are so right. Thanks for reminding me to see the glass as half full.