Ungrateful | ADHD Information

You know, this is a vent.  I took my children out of school today and took them, along with hubby, to carowinds amusement park in Charlotte, NC. We ate breakfast out, rode rides, everyone had a great day.  It them became time to go and when I asked my son if he had a great time, instead of talking about the fantastic weather ( 75 with a breeze) or the 35 rides he went on, he stated that he didn't get to go on the loop d' loop coaster and how it was his brothers fault and he started to complain all the way to the car. 

 I could not believe it!!!!  I asked him if he planned on thanking us for the day and he mumbled a thank you and then launched right back into how his brother had prevented his coaster ride ( I am still not sure how).  I told him that he was a very ungrateful and negative child and I could no longer tolerate his attitude!!!  We were all hot, tired, had spent an enormous amount of money and all he could do was complain.  Hubby even said that if he had rode the coaster, he just would have complained about something else. His attitude just KILLS me and makes me not want to do things with him.

That sounds sooooo!!!!!! familiar. You are not alone.Will and his brother are both the same way.  It's so hard.  I want to give them things that I didn't have but they take it all for granted.  I wish I knew how to teach them to be thankful.

He was probably disappointed that the day was over and after an uber-stimulating day just having a bad moment.  I have seen that before with my kids too.  It makes me so mad when it happens. I bet if you ask him 2 days later if he had fun he will say it was awesome.

I guess that is the whole point. He is ungrateful.  My other son always thanks me for everything he gets to do and everything he recieves.  He is only 4.  Older brother, however, has this sense of entitlement that really makes me mad.I can SO relate to this too. We just spent a few days on Cape Cod. Great kid hotel with water slides, wave pool, went to the beach, ate out, did EVERYTHING they wanted to do, but my oldest still constantly complained about not playing a video game..........................she puts a damper on everything fun we do too. I asked her outright if she even had fun and she sad yes, but she really dd complain a LOT. I do think it's the overstimulation, but knowing the cause doesnt make us feel any better. Thye still make us feel bad, but they will ALWAYS complain so you have to try to not take it so to heart, but I do understnad. Sorry mine is going to be 14 and is still like this...........................I think she's worse than when younger actually I can relate to this as well - it seems like my son has a huge sense of
entitlement and just complains about everything he has.

What we started to do is just ignore it (if it is everyday conversation) and if
he becomes very negative we politely say "If you don't have anything nice
to say or something that you can tell me that you like or makes you
happy, I don't want to hear and I won't talk to you about it". Usually they
do it for attention, so don't feed the fire!!

We had an incident where our neighbors lost their job and were in a bind
financially with 2 kids - we went to the store and decided to buy them a
week's worth of groceries to help them out. The entire time we were at
the store my son whined and whined about "That's for me?! right?! That's
MINE!" and when we politely told him "no" he had a meltdown in the
store. So not only do our children sometimes seem like they are
ungrateful, but unsympathetic as well.

If it is in regards to an event - like with your son and taking him
someplace special - I would simply let him know that if he is set on
talking negative and complaining well he can just stay at home next time
if he had such a bad time! Or you could try to turn it around on him
and make it seem like a reward, like it was something he has to earn to
go on a special trip to the amusement park next time - and then talk
about how proud you are of him and his behavior on the way home -
motivating and supporting him and giving him a sense of pride and
ownership of the experience.

I know that without medication this has helped a lot with our son.

And you have to remember kids like ours are in the moment thinkers - if
you saw him at any point during that day with a smile on his face - then
your kind gesture of indulging him in something special was noticed!! (if
even for a moment with a big smile or laugh!)

You're such a great Mom for planning such a fun outing for your family!!

Welcome to my world.  My kid is so negative but when he does thank me, it's a wonder I don't fall over from a heart attack.

When I do something for him and he doesn't say, Thank you, I say "your welcome" and he mumbles Thank you.

I try to point out all the positives of the day - he usually doesn't buy it, but I keep trying.

 My son is so like that- just has to focus on the negative part of everything. He's a glass half empty kid -not half full. The other day I bought him a new battery recharg. toothbrush (which he requested) - its too big, makes too much noise - I'm not going to use it, why didn't you buy me one like I had before. He has always been this way. It is frustrating and I've learned to not take it personally because thats who he has always been. I just listen and agree to whatever he says, hopefully without adding it sucks to be you.  Whenever my child pulls this crap (not realizing what he has, rather than what he hasn't) I remind him how he isn't out in the fields pulling cotton.  I also mention that he isn't in the factory making our clothes, or a sex slave in a brothel in Asia either. It pisses him off to no end; makes me smile. Yme!39567.6958449074

My son is the same way( and I guess I am also to an extent, but I have conditioned myself to respond more positively)....

 I have learned not to ask him when something is "over" how he felt about it...or if he enjoyed it. When you have ADHD, you live in the moment and you react according to that moment. You really are grateful for eveything you get, but when the excitement has ended..you feel kind-of bummed and you react accordingly.

Instead I'll ask him before and DURING if he is having fun and I am normally met with great enthusiasm and gratitude then. Its like...when its all over...he is bummed out and just wants to complain about anything when he is really just upset that the excitement is all over with....kind of like the "let-down" feeling after all the Christmas packages have been unwrapped and you realize nothing else is coming... you really are grateful for all that you have but still feel a twinge of disappointment that all the excitement and anticipation have ended.

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