My adhd ds is 12 and still needs a lot of help staying on task with homework. My dd is 5. But their personalities are the opposite of what you'd expect. ds is the introvert and dd is the extrovert.
When we get home from work, dd is in our face- she wants attention and she wants it now. This is hard for my hubby- he needs a little down time after work. So what we do is I play with dd while my hubby cooks dinner. My neighbors are jealous that my hubby cooks dinner probably 4 times a week! But for him it is more relaxing than dealing with her at that time. ds is supposed to have his math done by the time we get home because that is easier for him. Then after dinner we switch, I am the homework prodder while hubby gets dear daughter. He doesn't have the patience to be the homework police.
My youngest is the one with ADD; she has an older brother and sister. (She's 5; the others are 10 and 13). As you know, The Child takes a lot of attention. How is it possible to give her the attention she needs to keep her focused and well-behaved and not short-change the others? This is such an issue for us too. My child with ADHD is 13 and her sister is 6. It's very difficult as a 6 year old needs usually needs Mom more, but not so in our house........................you really can only do the best you can............try to get some time with the other kids without her. Maybe she is having special time with Dad? If we're ALL together my child with ADHD takes up all my attention, if she's not getting it, she'll do something to get it.Its really tough to juggle everything, I think you already have the answer because you're asking the question and are aware of the problem.