I TRUST YALL, AND NEED YALLS ADVICE AGAIN | ADHD Information
My son is 10 and had one of "those" teachers for homeroom this year. Lost recess everyday for MONTHS to complete or REDO "busy" work that didn't suit her. Instead of trying to figure out why he wasn't able to get his work done "right" so that she could help him (which would have required some effort on her part..and she accused him of lack of effort) she just punished him relentlessly! ANd what really made me mad was..she didn't even have him for a class...this was HOMEROOOM morning "busywork!"
I had him moved to another homeroom class and he has been doing much better 
. I didn't leave room for the school administration to even question me. I simply demanded that he be moved or I would file a formal grievance. He still has all the same teachers for his classes and is doing fine!
Hi- Everything is different!!! JD got so sick, cj is feeling the emotions that are running through everyone. Perhaps that is what changed him. Yesterday and today I took my 9 and 6 y/o's to the behavioral psychologist because they both were acting out awfully! My 6 y/o who is on green just about every day in school has been on red (bad) three times in the last week and a half. And she always has an excuse. But I know that they have to have been pretty frightened by what was going on with Jon. They have also been pretty mean to him. They even called him 'nuts' once- just once and after they were given a good talking to they haven't done it again.
But, they are whiney, cry, scream, carry on, tease each other, complain about all their chores and basic responsibilities. I know this will pass, they need to work out their grief and fears.
Plus- if he is having asthma, the meds can make him very irritable and excitable and angry. We had to switch Jon's meds from albuteral to Z...... something or other.
Hope it gets better. You need a break!!! If I can make a suggestion- have cj draw a picture of his family. You can tell so much from their drawings. Also have him draw one of himself, one of his brother. Make it fun and make a fuss over him.
Randyjim, thanks for such a prompt response, But the only problem is that Cj started misbehaving about a month before we even knew something was wrong with Jd. I am at a loss. I know that we can handle it, that is not the problem. I just dont understand it. He was fine just two months ago. Everybody wanted to be around my chunky (45 lbs and 5yrs 10 months, but now everybody is like what happened to him. Today my sister even remarked, (innocently but it still stung)that I am such a good mom what did I do when I was pregnant for both of my boys to have these problems, ouch. I try not to let that feed my spirit but honestly I ask my self similiar questions. Is it possible for adhd to lie dormant like that for 5 years? If he has only been having problems for a 2 months then an ADHD diagnosis cannot be accurate, symptoms MUST be present fpr 6 months or longer. I would wait on a diagnosis until thngs calm down, and he gets older. Thank you, see that is what I thought, when I told the doctor this, he said that he has it in his chart documented on several occassions that cj was very on the go, and overly active. He likes to climb the table and and pulls down the items out of the cupboards. He told me that he has always felt that cj was adhd but since I never brought it up that he figured that I just didnt want to medicate him. You would have to know jd's whole story to truly understand. Their pedi is really great but he also knows the struggle that we have with Jd. He said that as long as cj was doing okay in school that everything should have been fine without meds. I assume that not everyone medicates their adhd child. But that now that it was interfering with his school work that I should consider meds. May be it is just that the road has been so long and rough for jd, that i chose to be blind. Is it also possible that since jd is so severely adhd I just let cj slide with his activeness.lethyroudmom, I would get a referral to a neuropsych. Why not get as solid a diagnosis as you can. I'm not too keen on that med trial thing (just my opinion). Especially at age 5 and SO much happening in you guys life right now. Take a step back, get the specialist referral and take your time figuring out exactly what's going on. You have time, he's only a little boy.
Good luck, you must be exhausted!
[QUOTE=lethy proud mom] Well that was then this is now. It is like his teacher can't stop complaining about him. He gets a sad mark everyday. He is constantly getting in trouble. His behavior has also started to affect our home life. He is getting more and more defiant, he is very active. He has full blown tantrums. He does not want to do things that he used to do before without throughing a fight. initially [/QUOTE]ya know if i was getting a sad mark every day without realising what the h*ll it was for - i might start acting up and getting confused and angry and doing whatever cos apparently whatever i do is WRONG anyway..... even when i am not trying to be deliberately disobedient - so might as well be DELIBERATELY disobedient cos then at least there is a reason for the bad marks.
children are sensitive. if there is some b*tch of a teacher getting at him every day - basically telling him every single day that he is NOT OK as he is. he is all wrong. he is flawed. that his natural behaviour - his natural instinctive personality is all phyucked up. where do you go??? as a child. what do you do??? being you is apparently all WRONG. so what do you be? what do you have to rely on? how are you supposed to be? when apparently all your natural personality is not acceptable. what do you develop?
i am just coming right out the blue here --- but i would just change his teacher.
get someone sweet - sympathetic, kind, disciplined but in a fair and reasonable way that makes sense... someone who gives a lot toward the children. there are plenty of teachers out there like that. if possible.
a friend of mine who has a daughter in school in Canada - went so far as to tell her daughter that this year they were just going to ignore her grades - that she should just try her best and wait it out until she got into the next year where she would have a nicer form teacher (admittedly this child was already nine so quite capable of understanding the situation - not the same for a five-year-old at all) and that it was a life-lesson to learn that there were (and always will be) unreasonable people in the world but to try not to let them affect your own behaviour and try to learn how best to deal with them and retain one owns standards/ethics. i think in this case - the teacher still is slyly biased against the girl but the child has so much support from her mom that she is dealing with it very well.....
but i would say that if it is the teacher that is constantly undermining your child's self-esteem - then change the teacher, he is waaay too small to be able to deal with the constant negativity. it must be really taking its toll on him - poor thing.
anyway it might be nothing at all to do with the teacher (still what kinda teacher would give out a bad mark every single day without stopping to consider the effect it might have on a little one??? at FIVE for crying out loud!) - it was just a thought - good luck with it... perhaps in the end you could trust your own instincts, deep down you may well know what the issue is - so just give yourself some time to really think about it without any preconceptions and see what you come up with.
chjones39577.166087963
Hi - you might see about any different foods, allergy medications, ashthma meds he is taking.
I feel so badly for you about your sister. She may have said this jokingly. Perhaps you could mention how much it hurt you and that you need her support right now. Sometimes people say things without thinking.
You have gotten some really great ideas from the people above. Take care and take a long hot bath....
Randy
[QUOTE=Diane V]lethyroudmom, I would get a referral to a neuropsych. Why not get as solid a diagnosis as you can. I'm not too keen on that med trial thing (just my opinion). Especially at age 5 and SO much happening in you guys life right now. Take a step back, get the specialist referral and take your time figuring out exactly what's going on. You have time, he's only a little boy.
Good luck, you must be exhausted!
[/QUOTE]Thanks for your response, but let me ask your opionion he is going to see a neurologist, is that as good or the same as a neuropsych? Why are you not to fond of the medicine trial. I am not disputing your response I am just trying to get as much info as i can. and i have always thought that the advice that you give along with others has been very helpful. School has less than a month left to go so what do you guys think if I dont give him his medicine and then watch him in the summer time and go from there. Unless something major happens. Because I dont want to be neglecting of a medical condition, however, I am just not sure he has one. Also what if the neuro says the same thing then what do I do. I use to talk cj with me to Jd's play therapy and also to Jd's skills training, but I got tired of them telling me that I need to put Cj in there program for his behavior. I would make me mad because 4 and 5 year olds are suppose to be a handful, right. I dont know, I am just so use to Jd that cj seems fine to me, just a little rough around the edges, lol.
A neuropsych will do a full neuropsych, academic, emotional, social, IQ testing the whole bit. A neurologist is not psych, but a medical doctor. Another option would be to see the neurologist, see what he says. Hold off on the neuropsych, the testing they can do on a child over 6 is more comprehensive anyway.
The med "trial" thing to me seems like it should wait until you KNOW they have ADHD not to diagnose it. If you are unsure it's ADHD, then wait it out. Like edbson says the criteria for diagnosis is symptoms for over 6 months. I see what you're saying about not wanting to ignore a medical condition, BUT you're not doing that at all, you're following through, you're having him evaluated, you ARE doing all the right things. I (and this is just my opinion) really think that at 5 years old it's worth waiting and seeing. Unless you're child is out of control, hurting him/herself, hurting others, being so disruptive in school they cannot keep in class....etc., etc.....but it doesnt sound like that is your situation.
My younger daughter at 4 and 5 was.................well..........we didnt really know, pretty hyper, very fresh LOTS of tantrums, she is in Kindergarten this year and turned 6 in February. She is like a different child. Listens most of the time, is able to complete tasks, rarely tantrums, eats well, sleeps well, can read and wrtier (although writings a struggle) is above grade level in math. All we did was continue with a strong behavior plan and we did add Omega 3's. It was the combination of all of it and maturity that has helped. She still may end up having "something", but for now we're doing the right thing for her. I am MUCH less worried.
chjones you know what makes me really mad is that his teacher is taking away his recess everyday. She also makes him do his work over if she feels that he is being lazy and it is messy to her. If he really has these issues, the ot says that his fine motor skills are that of a 4 year old not an almost six year old. diane thinks for that information, i am going to wait on medicine and atleast watch him over the summer. The teacher that he is going to have next year is wonderful. She is the same teacher who helped Jd through all his struggles after he was hospitilized in first grade. You are right he is not a terror, to me he is just a active happy little boy. The ot says that he has so many new behavioral issues mostly because of sensory problems. She said that explains why he gets mad when he doesnt understand directions. He has a problems understanding wh questions, and he doesnt sribe well, he also sucks on his shirt, bottom lip, and is always putting stuff in his mouth. He wants to wear the same clothes over and over again, washed of course, he will only eat creamy foods, he always is touching everybody, he will rub your ears, arm, elbows, he tries to rub my stomach lol. I thought he was just cuddley. Can he have sensory issues and not Adhd? Just a hope.Randyjim, as always thank you for your help it is always appreciated. He takes singular, xopenex, and aadvair for his asthma, he has been on this combo for atleast 2-3 years. Do you think that his problems could be related to these meds, even though he has been on them for a few years.lethy proud mom39577.2403819444