morning hell | ADHD Information

despite the fact that me 9 year old is given 1 hour to eat breakfast and put on laid out clothes the take his meds he just can't seem to get it done. He has a checklist to remind him, he gets a reward for every item checked off but it like takes 20 minutes to put on 1 sock or his underware. this is driving me crazy. i can't wake him to give him his meds or he won't eat all day and night. AARRGGHH i just needed a rant. thanksI hear you!  I use a count down to get my son moving.  Sometimes it still doesn't work.  He knows that when he just has a few minutes left I'll get him dressed myself.  That's quite the motivator - nothing like being babied to get him to act his age.

I'm laughing with you.   My son takes an inordinate amount of time to get anything done.  Always was like that and as a teen it's not getting better.

I give my kids their meds about 20 minutes before they wake up. Jusi that 20 minutes does the trick. They both get up and get dressed pretty well. Of course I am supervising the whole time but w/ 2 ADHD kids I may be doing that for a long time I think. They do still eat breakfast as well. HTHI give my daughter her meds and she lays back down for 20-30 min she then gets up and does her morning routine.   This is a big change because she was the same way.  I used to just get her ready to save us the argument.    if I gave him the meds early, he would not go back to sleep and he would never eat a thing all day. He has to eat before he takes them he is a skinny little kid.

My son needs a little longer. 1 hr 15 min seems to work. Then I don't have to remind him so often. He can spend 5 minutes making faces in the mirror, or whatever.

Have you tried an alarm clock? Works like a charm for me. Getting him dressed & to the table requires consequences -- stuff like losing friday night dessert if not at the table in 5 minutes. If he comes out of his bedroom without getting dressed the consequence is an immediate shower (I love that one!). When he's eating, I put a timer next to him showing how much time remains. He carries it around the house while getting ready, hooting and hollering to himself "oh no, 8 minutes left! oh no! oh no!" If the timer goes off and he's not ready, I charge .00 per reminder (so he doesn't do that much anymore).

I takes my daughter an hour too. Even with LOTS of reminders, but at least we've graduated to getting it done in the hour wiht the reminders (no yelling....mostly) . The things that help the best have been using the Strattera (24 hour coverage) and doing things in the EXACT same order every day.....no exceptions. If I wasnt there constantly talking and promtping, she'd NEVER get ready.

i just want to thank those who wrote back to me. this mornig was another battle. As mean as this might sound i had to tell him there was ants on him to get a reaction out of him just for him to say no theres not and he rolled over and fell back to sleep. then i told him he would be grounded and he started to yell no and i live in an appartment. the more i said that the louder he got. then he kept saying my legs are stuck. withch they wernt and when i told him i will not play his games he got mad and hit the wall. my neighbore has told me it sounds like iam beating him, i laughted and said hell i don't even spank him, iam afraid that one day she will call cps on me just cause he is soo loud in the mornings, he is fine during the day cause of his pill. but with out it some times he is ok and others he is so giddy and deffient that we have to hold him down to get him to calm down. so it is a battle from hell.

I use to struggle with my son in the a.m. now I have him get up, eat breakfast, take meds while eating, then do his chores.  He is on concerta and it kicks in after 30 minutes so if he gets up at 7:00/7:15, he is ready for chores by 7:45/8:00, then out the door by 8:20.  Before meds, he is still a silly drunk for a lack of better words, but we just started a new behavior program called "the voucher system" and he earns points for not being so silly and loud in the a.m. so it is working much better.  We also added 1/2 mg of tenax in the evenings to help him sleep and that also seems to help with the a.m.  If I had him get dressed and everything else before meds, he would never get to school!  Hope this helps.

mars

The headline for this thread told me ALL that I needed to know.  I am in your shoes as well and have had to literally have him do as much as is humanly possible at night prior to bed:
 
His outfit is ironed, and set out-away from his room and bathroom (as there tends to be an invisible monster that causes clothing to disappear "into the floor" in that end of the apartment) and instead it is placed over one of the kitchen chairs.  Everything he does in the morning is lined up in a row on his bathroom counter top in order of what he does: for example, deodorant, comb and hair gel, toothbrush and paste, etc.

My son is 13.

By now, I would have thought that writing out a list of the morning's "getting ready routine" (which should be ingrained into what one does over and over again, or so I thought), would help.  IT DOESN'T.
He is angry at me for posting it, and won't read it or look at it.

At this point, we do all we can until I have to drop him off at his grandparent's house for them to finish what hasn't been done. I simply won't allow him to make me late and lose my job.  (Oh, I have to be at work prior to his school starting, so they would have to have him to take him to school anyway, just fyi.)

However, his grandparents are not on top of things with him all the time, and the other day he came home REEKING of body odor after school as he forgot to put his deodorant on.

I am close to losing my mind.  It is very close to the end of the school year, so I am "trying to not get so upset." But, next year something just simply will have to give.  I do not have the time in the mornings to micro manage his routine.  He will have to get up and do it himself.  I mean at some point, you have to take care of your own hygiene, or no one will!

I don't expect him to do anything else independently.  NOTHING.  Not his homework, his chores, even going to bed on time, etc.  Eating, etc.  Nothing else is fully expected of him-he even is given a large leeway with regards to his grades and turning in/finishing homework. (NOT society or his teachers, but my attitude, meaning, I don't get as upset as I normally would.) 

HOWEVER, if this kid doesn't learn how to take care of his own personal hygiene in a timely manner and on his own in the mornings by this time next year-I fear that I am going to lose it.
Iam new to this, but my son had adhd, and my mornings are a nighmare.I have tried different bedtimes, and no change. he can have 9 hours of sleep and still wont even move. he screms and yells. my neghbors have even complained that he is so loud that it sound like he is being beat. he has his ups and downs, some days he cries over little things. feels that every one blames him for everything. and asks why he alway get hurt. then some days he is angry and aggressive. he is defient. some days he is hyper, and when he is on his meds he is more angry.he rips his cloths, bites his nails till they bleed. and we are all equel. to him. he is the boss. somethimes he will dress him self and most of the time i have to do it because it takes forever. there was two times where he had smeard poo on the walls. and two times he has peed on the floor. iam so whiped out. i have read about early onset bypolor. sorry this is so long. i can't spell nethier. lolMy son is the exact same way in the mornings.  I posted a couple of weeks ago about how bad our mornings are.  I can not give my son his meds before he eats or we'll never get him to eat.  Breakfast is about the only meal that he really sits down and eats.  He is almost 9 years old and only weighs 58lbs.  He has gained 1 lb in 9 months.  As for consequences with my son he does not care what I make take away at a later time.  I have learned the calmer I stay the better our morning are.  I can't wait for school to be out and then we won't have to worry about rushing around.

fedupmom, please have him seen by the doctor. He may not have a co existing condition, but he should not be struggling this much, nor should you. If he gets worse on meds, that's a concern. A good neuropsychologist will tease out whatever is going on and a good psychiatrist will juggle meds and keep trying until you find the right med or mix of meds that work for him.

I think mornings are just tough in general for all of us as until the meds kick in..............it can be un manageable.................