As most of you know Jon is 8 1/2 and adhd. My 9 y/o son puts up with a lot of garbage from Jon although he can give as good as he gets sometimes- regular sibling rivalry. Well, my 9 y/o made a friend in school and we invited him on an all day playdate. The mom dropped her son off and we had a great day. I immediately was aware that her son was either ADD or ADHD but I didn't have any problems as I am used to defusing Jon.
When the dad picked up his son (mom was at home) he could not believe that we had a great day with no problems. It seemed to me that this little boy has few or no friends. He and my 9 y/o are fast friends now. My 9 y/o knows how to make allowances for adhd behavior and I am so happy for the both of them.
BTW- when I say I had no problems I am discounting the rocks they threw on the roof and other mischief. Somehow, those things just don't bother me as long as the boys are safe and enjoying themselves. They were easily distracted by other activities.
That is great that your 9 yo can be a friend to him because of skills he's learned as the sibling of an ADHD child. I'm really happy for the ADHD child - to finally have a friend who accepts him and to be able to go to a house and play where the parent understands him. I wish my ADHD son could find such a friend!Diddo on that wish for a freind. Our daughter is still in the let's play mode while many of her school mates are maturing beyond the "playdate mode". When on the bench during soccer or softball she doesn't socialize like the rest of the girls do. I'll keep looking for that freind for her. I've found the same to be true of my daughter- she knows that some kids just can't help it and you have to be a little more tolerant. She has a boy in her class this year who's had problems in school from the start and she came home one day and told me he needed to start taking adhd medication like her big brother, just based on how he behaved in the classroom. She didn't even bat an eye when he'd fly into a frustration-induced rage and start throwing stuff- the teacher said some of the other kids were scared, but DD just rolled her eyes and kept working. Then my daughter came home a couple months ago and told me that this boy said that he has adhd and that he takes medicine to help him now. She wanted to know why he was just finding that out when she's known that since first grade started. I was just glad that she understood and was not one of the kids trying to blame him for everything that happened and constantly tattling on him. Even if she won't officially be his friend (because he's a boy) she's at least kind to him.