Spitting nails... | ADHD Information

I agree with Janie. 

What a horrible thing to happen. You would not expect friends to act that way.

Maybe when your pool is installed you can have a pool party and invite the kids and parents?

 

Quite frankly, unless you have a child with this, you only THINK you know what they "ought" to be doing/acting.  All medications are out of control with regards to price these days and no doubt this guy thinks that your daughter is just being "bad" rather than being "unable" to control herself.  If you have a talk with him approaching the subject in this manner, maybe he will take back what he said.  If everyone, and I do mean everyone, thought to themselves "I do not see everything that is going on here, nor do I know what this person deals with inside their mind/body so I will give them empathy rather than grief" EVERYONE MIGHT BE BETTER OFF.

[QUOTE=Yme!] If everyone, and I do mean everyone, thought to themselves "I do not see everything that is going on here, nor do I know what this person deals with inside their mind/body so I will give them empathy rather than grief" EVERYONE MIGHT BE BETTER OFF. [/QUOTE]

 

 So true. People are so stuck on themselves that they can't step back and see that their actions and words may hurt another person.  It's always best to think before you speak.

My niece - brilliant - adorable - 6 year old - no ADHD - is a Pain in the you know where.  She is stubborn, wants to only play what she wants to play, is bossy and throws tantrums.  Her best friend doesn't want to play with her anymore.

Well, this is behavior from a kid that does not have any Attention deficit or other issues - she's just a tad spoiled and 6.  So, people who don't have children with issues have no idea how everything is magnified.

 

What i woudl do, is later on in the day, after you have calmed down, is walk over to the guys house and say "look... if i am taking this the wrong way i apologize but.. this is how I feel..." and then tell him what you told us. Maybe he will understand more after you explain to him how u felt, maybe he just acted out in frustration and didnt even realize how he was hurting your feelings. If you guys are all friends then you shoudl be able to talk openly about how you feel. Also maybe you can come up w/ a silent signal that as parents you give to one another when your kids are becoming to much of a handful, then you can divert brittney away w/o her feelings ever being hurt.  Fact is kids fight all the time, as you said best friends one second, frenemies the next... THey will make up and have a million more fights espcecially groups of kids.  I would just remind yoru kids over and over to treat others the way they want to be treated and to forgive. I hope today is a much better day for you!!!

Is it possible he was just having a really bad day and came across more harshly than he intended?  Perhaps he only meant that the girls should play at their own houses for the afternoon because he couldn't deal with being referee to the snippiness?  Give it a little time and then just talk to him.

I know how it is- we have a lot of girls between 7 and 10 on our block too.  Some are very laid back but a couple are very bossy and can get downright nasty (my daughter included).  I have moments when I wish they just go home so I didn't have to listen to it. 

 

Wow, kids can be cruel sometimes. And while I believe that their behavior was totally unacceptable and make no excuses for the dad, it is quite possible that the dad did not appreciate what he might view as a threat being made to his child. If my child was the one being a bully or a jerk I would want the parent to come and talk to me not my child. I would make sure that I took care of the situation immediately. Maybe I am to protective of my children because of my boys situation. lol. It is also very cool of you to consider that the dad may of had a bad day, and while this is no excuse, we have all been there. And said something we wish we had not. Hopefully after a goodnights rest he will second guess his reactions and reprimand his child. I wish you were my neighbors because my kids would love to play with yours. Good luck and try to remember kids can be cruel sometimes that is why it so important that we teach our children to love one and another, and that we give our children so much love and understanding in their safe haven, home. God Bless your family.

OMG I can't believe what just happened.  A little background info - I live in a rural neighborhood, lots of kids (mainly girls) very close in age...  Most of the time all the girls get along decently well, but sometimes my stepdaughter is excluded because she's immature, annoying, etc - she is severe ADHD, and I totally understand that she gets on the other girls nerves, but until tonight I THOUGHT that the adults were on the same page regarding encouraging tolerance and getting along with each other...

 

Tonight, 3 of the girls were playing at my next door neighbor's house.  We were gone all day, but they had all played together the other day and gotten along just fine.  They hadn't even laid eyes on my stepdaughter all day long.  We got home, and Brittany noticed that the girls were all over there playing and started walking over to them.  I heard "Aaaack!  It's Brittany!  Run!  Don't let her in!" and the girls (one of whom is the daughter of my best friend) all ran inside.  Brittany came back home trying to act like her feelings weren't hurt, but I could tell.

 

Then a few minutes later, the 3 girls came back outside.  I told Brittany to go on over there and play, just MAKE SURE to be nice.  She walks over, says hi, and the 3 girls decide to go back inside.  Brittany follows them up the steps, and the girls shut the door in her face.  By this time, I'm getting close to livid.  The final straw was when my 5 year old son was trying to ride his new bike in the neighbor's driveway and the girls made HIM cry and come home because they were being mean.  I finally went over there and told all 3 girls that I didn't appreciate the way they were acting, that they'd hurt both my childrens' feelings and that if it happened again that it wasn't going to be pretty.

 

All this time I had every reason to believe that the parents would back me up.  We're a pretty close-knit group, and everyone knows that Brittany is a challenge and that we just do the best we can.  Well, my best friend totally backed me up and made her daughter come home.  She loves Brittany like one of her own, and she knows very well how much we struggle with raising her and is really trying to teach her daughter how to accept people and get along with them.  I LOVE her for that. 

 

However, the father of the other little girls got downright pissy with me, pretty much saying how Brittany is mean sometimes (which she can be, but he also knows full well that his younger daughter can be evil too).  Instead of saying that he was sorry about what happened and that he would remind the children about how we all need to try to get along, he told me that he would just keep his girls at his house and I can keep Brittany at mine.  So I suppose now all the neighborhood kids can come play at his house except mine, because I sure as heck can't let my son go over there when his sister can't!  And how is Brittany supposed to feel when she sees all the kids over there when she can't go?

 

Who the hell is this guy, and what did he do with my nice neighbor???  He actually LOANED US THE MONEY (over 0 which we have paid back) this past weekend because we couldn't afford to buy her medicine...  wouldn't common sense plus a close friendship make someone have a little freaking compassion for their friend's child who requires over 0 worth of medicine a month???  It's not like Brittany had been over there all day bugging them - she wasn't even given a CHANCE today.

 

I was NOT EXPECTING this reaction from him at ALL.  I wasn't ugly with him - I just told him what had happened and why I'd gotten onto the girls like I did.  I really thought he'd back me up.  I know he's got some stressful stuff going on, but to me this is inexcusable.  After all we've all been through together, after all the dinners he's eaten at our house, after all our kids have played together, he has the nerve to get pissy with me for standing up for my child?  He and my husband are supposedly very close friends.  Needless to say, my husband (who is out of town) feels quite betrayed tonight.

 

We're getting a new pool installed next week, and I'm quite confident that the girls will all want to be Brittany's best friend THEN.

 

This all just sucks.

I had walked over there with the intention of talking to the dad, but literally right when I was standing in the driveway was when they made my son cry about being "too slow" on his bike, and I'd had enough.

 

The dynamics of this neighborhood are such that we all feel comfortable/responsible reprimanding other parents' kids if we see fit.  An "it takes a village" type of thing.  My best friend THANKED me both for talking to her daughter and for telling her about it.  If Brittany is misbehaving with a neighbor, I WANT them to get on to her.  I thought we all had this understanding.

 

The fact that Brittany and my neighbor's younger daughter butt heads sometimes is well-known.  They're at each other's throats one minute and best buddies the next.  We've talked and laughed about silly girl dynamics with this neighbor.  I just thought we were on the same page regarding having them learn to get along.

 

Brittany is accustomed to exclusion (which really sucks), but her little brother (my 5-year-old) has no clue.  I hate to have to explain to him why he can't ride his brand-new, first ever "real" bike with training wheels in the neighbor's driveway now (his driveway is paved, we have gravel, the road is unsafe).  He's going to be heartbroken.

 

I hate stupid drama.  And I'm downright offended at the way he talked to me and then called my best friend in an apparent attempt to slam me and get her to choose sides.

 

Grrrrrrrrrrrrr

Maybe your neighbor doesn't understand what your daughters disability is I am saying this from experience I have a 19 year old normal son and a 4 year old son with adhd.  My best friend has a son with ADD and I use to think he was the most annoying kid ever. Till I was in the same situation and had the time to research and sit and talk to my best friend, who totally understood my frustrations and actually was the one who encouraged me to take my son to the dr.

Your neighbors behavior was terrible however maybe he truly and honestly doesn't understand your daughters situation and perhaps if your friendship is worth it enough try to explain it to him to make him understand I could be truly off base however I  do now know both sides and secretly I use to think my best friends son was the worse kid ever because honestly I didn't take the time to understand because my son wasn't like that.. Its some thing to think about perhaps maybe you could handle the situation in a different angle.

I hope everything works out for you I have a lot of really good friends in my neighbor hood and summer with out BBQs and drinks and fun  just wouldn't be right .