actually he is in speech for some time now, i really started early with services because i want the best for my child. They say they changed his goals cause he is doing well and asking for things in 2-3 word phrases. When we are home he looks at me like a deer in headlights when i ask him to say simple "i want eat" he knows how to say that yet he acts like he doesnt know or starts to whisper,i ask him to use his words like the therapists says that he does for and he turns around and back to not looking at me even if it means giving up the most favorite thing "food". If i have any witness in front of me he would say "i want eat" Or "eat" but when we are by ourselves i have problems with him requesting things. But he does echo me constantly also crying and repeating what i am asking to do when i know hes done it 500 times. No matter if its speech or whatever and hes done it before it's always a tantrum to do things. He can label things tell us the color just by one word when we ask him. If he is distracted though he wont answer and cannot have back and forth coversation. It's all about him his conversations to me are one-sided i guess you can saythough he doesnt speak in many words. But lots of times dont make sense his speech. Speech therapists tell me he is doing well though.
As far as food obsession who do i see for this? His regular pedi will probably tell me hes a boy and a big eater and his weight is fine. Reason his weight is fine is cause i dont give him 5 pieces of cake that he wantsthats where the problem is. I think all his anger is at me about the food maybe?
I can't ask him why he does these behaviors cause he doesnt know how to answer anyone about anything. Only thing he can label is certain things by name and food that he wants to eat or drink. if i even tell him how cute he looks he wont look at me and puts his head down as if he just lost his puppy or i said something mean to him. Sometimes he goes where he knows i wont see him and if i look for him he moves more away where i cant see him one time cause i had to change battery in a toy so he was angry at me rest of the night. He doesnt have normal back and forth conversations. He talks about eating all day saying "eat"! over and over and getting more cocky as he says it like i am his slave. Everything is about him and his wants nothing about anyone else, he doesnt understand back and forth conversation. He is labeled on the spectrum.
Also just to let you know when he is closer to 4 they are putting him on meds for ADHD the dev pedi told me that they will label him then.
My child wasn't offically diagnosed ADHD yet he is going back in 3 months to the dev pedi . He is diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder which i think he fits "some" of the criteria but not all. In fact his OT tells me he doesnt need private therapy anymore, he doesn't get PT anymore which is great news. He is in a special needs school and get's speech and OT there.
The problem is he is two different people, in therapy he acts fine and is the sweetest child even hugging me in front of everyone. At home, defiant,whines everytime i ask him to do something or has a complete tantrum. Obsessed with food to no end he eats and drinks until he has diarhea then when i am eating he gets mad and wont look at me cause i have food after he ate so much giving himself diarhea. He won't look at me a lot even when i come in his room in the morning when he wakes up he wont look at me until i come up and kiss him but he acts like hes mad at me or unless i have food then i am his best friend. He picks crumbs off the floor to eat them, he is that desperate. Not only his behaviors but stims at home playing with strings and thinks everything needs to be done for him at home, and he does what they want at school. Dont get me wrong he had problems with school too but much more trouble at home. I ask him to do certain things with me making it as much fun i can and he flat out tells me "no"!!! He even acts like he can't do things that he can to get on my nerves, i don't show him i am upset but he still tries to annoy me or someone. Even at school he tries to test me in front of everyone. He is always two different people. He eats at the table in the morning for breakfast and if we have a therapist in the house he sits at the table for a long time staring into space or scraping up crumbs off his plate licking those crumbs off his fingers, wont look at me, then the therapist comes downstairs from working with my other child and he hugs them left and right and looks back at me acting like a different child. If igo in another room he runs in there and looks at me the runs out. He keeps hugging them until i look in their direction. He doesnt just do this to me he actually tried turning around not looking at my hubby when he was mad at him. He rarely does this to hubby but i take care of him most of the time. I tried calling for behavioral doctors i didnt see any psychiatrists listed. He manipulates everyone and we dont have any therapists for him cause stupid agency we are with has no one at the moment. Even when he gets a therapist he manipulates them and acts cute and gets out of everything. Or we get someone who has no idea about anything. Please someone give me some advice, or something i feel like talking to someone cause i cant take the stress.
First, I don't think you mentioned his age. Please add that as it will help in knowing what is age appropriate behavior vs. not.
hi well he is 3 and 1/2.
and well now as that is said i know it is always gonna be his age that is to blame. The constant need for food has been since he was very small he would eat 2, 8 oz bottles and spit up then hes was angry cause he spit up,we got him tested for reflux too and came up negative. I have posted another post that explains some of the things he does. I do believe he is on spectrum but think there is something else there. I ask him to stay in the room with me at doctors he gives me an evil look turns around and stands in same spot and wont look at me i ignore that and he stands there if it is 20 minutes in same spot. The nurse comes in he moves from that spot all hyper and happy hugs me and her he will hug anyone he sees. Then nurse walks out he gives me mean look again and wont look at me and turns around standing still in same spot. Doctor comes in and he is back to acting overly excited and hugging everyone. That switch a million times doesnt seem normal to me.
He also cant sit ever he is always hyperactive and squealing its like he sounds like he is on a rollercoaster going down a steep hill 24/7. That along with the frequent mood swings. He didnt just start this, this has been going on since he was 1 year old. I know i get the most of his moods cause he feels safe with me which is fine,but if he cant play with toys and instead annoy someone and enjoy it all day that doesnt seem normal, that he needs to play with strings all day isnt normal. The fact he gets very angry at me for no known reason and then we show up at school to drop my daughter off and he is hugging me and everyone. Then we leave and he puts his head down wont walk with me to our house and nothing even happened on the way home i just drove home for goodness sake! He also got mad and wouldnt walk out the door to take my daughter to school, i mean put his head down and stood into space. Other days he runs like a mad man to the vehicle and out of the house happy. I guess you have to live here with him to really experience what i am going through. It's not like he doesnt ever play with toys but it has to be on his terms and he doesnt play with all them appropriate. Yet at school he is somewhat a different kid and is so bright.I dont understand and he makes me look like a fool and how can i help him when i look like an idiot saying he wont do this for me when he clearly can at school.
also to add i am usually the one he knows better not to do things, not dad he iseven more defiant for dad then me and i take care of him all day. All i have to do is come in room and tell him to unzip his coat and he does it but was acting like he couldnt for dad for 10 minutes, throwing a big fit. He tried this with me too he would get angry and walk around house with fingers on zipper and wouldnt unzip his coat. Or hold fork and not bring food to his mouth have it halfway to his mouth acting like he couldnt eat it though he could. If i ignore it he just falls asleep. If we have company all of a sudden he could do those things in front of us and smile and look at us while he was doing it.
and also i don't know why he would punish someone who does nothing but take good care of him give him love and he just gets angry and mad that he eats himself to the point of having to poop a million times and when i have food in my hand he is angry. I couldnt understand maybe he is hypersensitive i don't know. I do believe he is on spectrum just dont know where. Also when i posted that he will get angry when i ask him to do something and not look at me and stare in same spot for 20 minutes even, well when we are in public he gets upset if i ask him to do something but moves on with his life and wont stand there and stare and he still looks at me when people are around, so tell me why is that? He can hold his emotions together and not act as angry when people are around yet he will when it is just me and him. Well, there is a problem with 3 1/2. They will not diagnose ADHD until they are 5 or 6. Not only that, but in fact, I would say that the terrible two's continued into the fours for my son.lovelittlebug, you do know that some of these behaviors he cannot help. The lack of "connection and eye contact" is a common trait for people on the autism spectrum. Does he get any Occupational therapy services. A LOT of these behaviors are probably sensory related. Read the threads on here related to Sensory Integration Disorder (SID or SPD). Read the book "The Out of Sync Child" by Carol Kranowitz.
Who is working with you? Behavior therapist? Where does he go to school? What is getting for services? If he has an AS diagnosis, there is a LOT of help out there for you. One of the hardest things with these kids is knowing and teasing out what is causing their behaviors. Whether he has ADHD or not doesnt really matter all THAT much at this point. You want to address the symptoms. They can add meds for hyperactivity, aggression, whatever when appropriate. You dont have to just wait it out though, there's help out there. Who is medically following him? Push for referrals.
Good luck, you have your work cut out for you, but with the right interventions and support he will succeed. You are obviously trying and getting as much guidance as you can................already on the right path. Find out what's available to you and take advantage of it ALL!!
well actually he has had OT for a year and a half and he is up to where he should be age level the OT called me telling me he doesnt even need OT anymore. Everyone working with him tells me it's "behavior" that he is capable and he does everything they want so if he is acting this way to me it's behavioral! I said in my last post if you read it i cant get a behavioral therapist in here cause the agency we are with are trying to get him one, everyone who walks in here he manipulates and gets out of work etc falls asleep then when they leave he wakes right up etc. I research and help him all i can. He is really doing well in areas so i do not believe it is sensory, and same with professionals that tell me same thing. Too many excuses are being said for him and eventually it will all come down to what everyone tells me and it is his behavior, cant say at 10 that is is terrible 10's after all. I know he cant help it if he has a chemical imbalance in his brain if that is what it is or his temperment. I am trying to get him to a psychiatrist but everyone i call doesnt take our insurance i am still trying. I love him and trying to get peace back in our home for him and all of us.
oh by the way DIANE V he has PERFECT EYE CONTACT. He craves attention and eye contact and that same little guy who craves it wont look at me like this and when he is angry, obsessed with food or getting on his bad side and him having behaviors dfor unknown reasons. I wasnt posting saying he has poor eye contact, it's his choice not too look at me when he is angry or holding a grudge. He always looks in our eyes and craves attention and eye contact.I guess I misunderstood.