Any suggestions for schoolbus?? | ADHD Information

[QUOTE=granny Fran]

School buses do not have seat belts. This has been debated at length, and the feeling is it would be too hard to get the kids out of the belts, in case of an emergency, as opposed to likelihood of serious injury. (Long time debating going on about this, I believe.)

In our state the buses have seatbelts. However, those not sitting in the front seats do not have to wear them. If this child is a danger to himself and other because of climbing the seats, etc, using a seat belt may be the simplist answer.

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In my area, they do not have them. It must be a state by state or even city by city thing.

like the bus monitor idea, though I doubt the school will be willing to pay for it. When my child was having enormous problems on the bus, I was told that riding the bus is a privilege and not considered part of his education, so they could kick him off the bus even if the behavior was due to a disability.

That is a bunch of BS. If the bus is contracted by the school,in which you pay taxes, then by law,it is your child's right to ride the bus.

The school may put up a stink about a bus monitor. Just very calmly tell them that your child needs one because of his disability. If they still squawk, calmly let them know that if your child injures himself or another that you will hold the school responsible. A lawsuit[discrimination and personal injury] and media coverage would be soo detrimental to the school's image<eg>

Thanks for the suggestions and support! After talking with Joe's teacher, I decided to drive him in and pick him up for the remainder of the school year. (His teacher said he doesn't like bus recess and often asks her to call me to come get him anyway!!)

Once he is on meds again we'll try the bus again for first grade, and see how it goes.

No seatbelts on the busses here, btw... and I think I read in the district handbook about the bus being a priveledge, etc... as well, but if it comes down to it next year I'll still push for a monitor or aide if necessary. Worst they can say is no, I guess :)

Again thanks for your support everyone. It's nice to get ideas, and it's also nice to know Joe's not the only kid going through this (I mean, logically I know he isn't, but still, it's nice to hear others' stories!!)

Our son who just finished Pre-K rode the bus for the first half of the year, only because our daycare's daughter rode also & he rode along w/her to daycare's house (they go to the same school). It was very difficult for him as well. He loves tags (he's content & sucks his thumb when he has a tag) so we made sure he had a tag along...didn't work, too many distractions. We bought him a cheapy video game to hold his attention, other kids just ended up playing w/it & he still was under seats, standing up, etc... The game never got lost but didn't serve it's purpose. We finally decided to let him stay at the after school program instead. It was an extra stop for me after work before picking up our youngest but with arrangements made w/daycare, it worked out well. They kept him busy, gave him a snack and it was much fewer kids than the bus & well organized. It was the best thing for him, even with the extra stop it was well worth it.Man, I thank god for a leapster! Quite frankly, I wouldn't dare give a child like that anything you aren't willing to lose-pronto! Although hand held video games will be something you will LOVE as they keep their attention and focus when nothing else will do so, these are typically high dollar items (at least my 13 yr. old son's are) and he isn't allowed to take them with him as they get broken and lost when out of the home.
Until he is on proper meds, if you are in a position to drive him, why would you put him through this? (not to mention everyone else on the bus.) If it isn't too large of an imposition, I would definitely take him off of the bus.
My son is 13 and he can barely handle the bus. (As a matter of fact, he wasn't feeling well today, right after school was let out, and decided to call to have someone pick him up. I was busy at work, and didn't hear my cell phone, and he didn't have my work number with him for some reason, and his grandparents missed his call as well.
Instead of simply taking the bus and getting home a half an hour later, he got into a car with a friend's grandfather who dropped him off at my apartment complex---where no one is home and he doesn't have the key!!! He forgot that he should go to his grandparent's house (something he does EVERY SINGLE DAY!) until I get off of work.
So, basically, I now have the management of my complex wondering why my child was left alone without a key or parents. I feel sick. Also, no one has been answering the phone there to even explain what happened. His grandmother had to go pick him up from the office until I got off of work-what a waste! For all I know, CPS might be knocking on my door for this one.
Not sure if you remember this or not, but his grandparents and his father are in total denial of his ADHD and are literally yelling at him while I am at work AS WE SPEAK. He was in tears according to what I have heard so far-his own family doesn't even get it-imagine how strangers must feel when they see what our kids do! (His dad is ADHD and his grandparents have him in front of the computer/video games a lot, so they miss out on much of his symptoms.)
Even though we bought him a cell phone for emergencies, such as this, HE LEFT IT SOMEWHERE and also he already lost the charger, so it isn't charged half of the time either as he has to borrow my charger--exhibit A your honor!

The bus driver spoke to me about Joe's behavior after school today... he's crawling under seats, standing on his head, being loud, etc....

I'm thinking I'll just have to drive him to and fom school for the rest of the year. I also thought about writing him a list of schoolbus behavior (Sit on your bottom. Stay in your seat. etc.) but I figure he won't think to look at it if it's in his backpack, or he'll lose it if it's in his hands.

Any suggestions on helping him cope, or should I just drive him the rest of the year? Thanks.

how about using a handheld game, or music with headphones. The bus can be quite overstimulating. Maybe if he's listening to music he'll be able to stay seated? A handheld game might be even better as it gives him something to do, but you may be worried he'll lose it.My child has the same problem! She has been kicked off the bus 2 this year.

I always wondered about the music thing as well...I was afraid she would share and loose it.
I thought about sending him with his Leapster, but I don't want that to be a distraction at school. It's something I could talk to his teacher and the principal about (toys aren't allowed at school but they might make an exception...)

[QUOTE=aimcifer]I thought about sending him with his Leapster, but I don't want that to be a distraction at school. It's something I could talk to his teacher and the principal about (toys aren't allowed at school but they might make an exception...) [/QUOTE]

maybe they will work with you, to make sure he leaves it with his coat or whatever. Obviously they cant have him taking it out at school, but it may be worth a try. If it doesnt work out, it doesnt work out. My neighbors daughter had a LOT of bus issues early in the year, she allows her to bring a couple of toys on the bus with 2 rules, she loses them they dont get replaced and if they get pulled out in school the privelege is taken away. It's worked like a charm, of course she doesnt have ADHD so different situation, and of course now my younger daughter wants to take her toys too...............but i'm off track.....you get the picture, it worked for them and worked well.

[QUOTE=Yme!]Even though we bought him a cell phone for emergencies, such as this, HE LEFT IT SOMEWHERE and also he already lost the charger, so it isn't charged half of the time either as he has to borrow my charger--exhibit A your honor!
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Oh, I hear you there! My 16 yo DS has always had a heck of a time with keeping track of electronic items. He takes them places he should not and has either lost them or had them stolen.

We are now in the process of replacing a relatively new cell phone DS had, which ended up missing in school (I know he should not have had it there) and was not found by staff or DS; conclusion is it was most likely stolen. Luckily, we were smart enough to have it insured. Oh, and this is actually the first cell phone of his own he has had as part of our plan (he did have a pay-as-you-go for awhile a couple of years ago for a short time and then started sharing my cell phone with me since that). We finally got him his own cell, thinking that, at his age, he was ready for the responsibility...

They also sell fairly cheap hand held games - you could get him a "bus game" that he only gets to play on the bus and anytime he's not on the bus it has to stay in a special pocket in his book bag.

I tried the game thing - my son got bus sick (and I do mean sick) so it didn't work out for him. He does better when he's well rested and he's been calm.

Good luck!

Hmmmm, the schoolbuses here have no seatbelts if they are full-size buses. I think the mini buses might have seatbelts.

I'm not sure putting a seatbelt on Joe is the answer, anyway. What would stop him from unbuckling himself and then being back to moving around the bus?

I like the bus monitor idea, though I doubt the school will be willing to pay for it. When my child was having enormous problems on the bus, I was told that riding the bus is a privilege and not considered part of his education, so they could kick him off the bus even if the behavior was due to a disability.

[QUOTE=Paul]

My reply is probably not the one you want to hear, but here it is....

Drive him to school. ADHD kids do not do well in unsupervised small group situations (and a guy driving the bus paying attention to the road in my mind is unsupervised). Everytime we've attempted the bus, the first couple of days go okay and then it goes down hill. By the time my guy is at school, he has already been disciplined for hitting, been bullied or some other negative experience that just doesn't need to start the day. So now we drive him. If my guy leaves the house on time, then he is rewarded to a trip to the donut shop just before school. If he's late then he gets to walk from the bottom of the hill (if he's late then there is a chance that I'll be late so there is a consequence).

Paul

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I agree with you. I am pretty lucky that my son is ok to ride the bus, but he only does so on the way home and not to. Even so, he has had some problems with kids bullying (or attempting to, I should say). My son is a darling in that he is a sweet hearted child, and I can say with pride it is due to him knowing just how much he is loved and wanted. However, it has the negative flip side of the coin, which is that he gets his feelings hurt easier because the rest of world is the way it is.
My son is big for his age, and could easily kick the crap out of the one child who is younger and smaller doing the bullying, but he has been told he is not allowed to do so. It is frustrating in a way, as in my day, one could stand up for yourself. Nowadays, both kids would be in trouble, no matter who starts or who finishes. Not sure if that is good or bad, probably good. However, now at 13 if you tell an adult about the situation, you are looked at as a "snitch" so there is no winning!

I am glad you decided to drive them yourself. It is a pain, and not good for the environment, but it is true that there is no one watching the kids as the bus driver is watching the road. In truth, there should be at least one adult other than the bus driver on the bus. The driver should NOT have to worry about dozens of kids on top of dealing with the road and safety. I wonder what could be done about having that changed? Any ideas?

I may be in the minority, but I think he needs to learn (a) that there are times you must sit in your seat for a short period of time and (b) adults are in charge and the child must listen to them.

I'm sure this child can sit for the 20 minutes or so he is on the bus when he is doing other activities (watching tv, computer, etc.)

Believe me, my son was exactly the same way. I could not drive him to school and pick him up every day. Therefore, when he had an incident he was assigned to sit by himself directly beside or behind the driver for a week. He HATED it. Then, if he was ok during that week, he was allowed back to where he liked to sit with his friends. If he acted up again, he was back sitting with the driver.

Did it stop him? No. He still had his times sitting by the driver all thru elementary school and he almost got kicked off once or twice. However, he DIDn't actually get kicked off, and I believe in the process he learned that there are responsiblities for his actions.

ADHD kids CAN control themselves, however it is harder for them then other children, and it is imperitive that they learn there are rules to follow and they must comply like everyone else.

I made it a point to always hold him accountable when he mis-behaved. However, I also tried to do things to make it less likely he acted up - like coached him on who to sit with one the bus (the calmer ones) and mentioned strategies to the drivers and teachers who dealt with him every day.

Just my opinion :-)

I think that if you read the OP you would see that her child is not yet on meds and is having substantial difficulties. I don't think that she plans on keeping her child off of the bus forever.

In addition, I would add that not all kids have the same degree of difficulty with ADHD and therefore some kids have a harder time than others.

I also think that if your child is already having issues with self esteem due to being different why add the stress of the bus ride to it if you don't have to? I remember riding the bus without having ADHD and it was a hell ride for someone "normal." (There is no adult supervision as the driver is busy doing what he or she is supposed to-keeping everyone alive!) I have already heard horror stories and my son has only been on the bus one year (and only rides one direction!) So, to each his own, I say.

P.S. (Just fyi, I am normally very into public transportation and having a lesser footprint on the planet, but not at the expense of a child's self esteem.)
I have to disagree that all ADHD kids can control themselves when not medicated or when meds aren't working right. My child wasn't yet diagnosed in kindergarten, and there was no way that he was capable of appropriate bus behavior. The teacher would review the rules w/ him before getting on the bus, he sat diagonally behind the driver, and nobody sat next to him, behind him, or across from him. Still, he had too much hyperactivity and impulsivity to be appropriate. This is the same child who used to walk laps around his room at bedtime b/c he had too much energy. Conversations conveyed that he knew how to act appropriately on the bus and he sincerely wanted to do so, but his body wouldn't let him. I should add that THE VERY SAME DAY that he started meds, he was appropriate on the bus from then on. Clearly it was not an issue of teaching my child through consequences (he had plenty, the worst being the blows to his self-esteem). For my child, it was an issue of needing the meds to help him slow down so he could control himself and act the way that he knew he should be acting.

My reply is probably not the one you want to hear, but here it is....

Paul

aimcifer,

First off, doesn't the bus have seatbelts? I would requst that your child sit diag. from the driver ,in a seatbelt. I would get a cheap handheld game for the bus trip only, or a cheap headset to block out the noise on the bus. I say cheap because other kids have a habit of helping themselves to kids belongiings.

Another option is to request an aide on the bus. [or monitor]

When ds was in kindergarten, he took a bus. This was before he started meds, and he had the same problems Joe is having. Know that you are definitely not alone and this is common with ADHD!

I like the Leapster idea. Couldn't he give it to the teacher when he got there in the morning? She locks her purse somewhere. Couldn't she lock the Leapster in the same place and give it to him at dismissal?

When my ds had the same problem, a couple of things helped. First, he was assigned the seat diagonally behind the driver. This helped a little, but not much. DS had to sit by himself, and the seat across from him and directly behind him had to stay vacant. This helped minimize his issue of getting into everyone's personal space. What helped the most was keeping him busy with an appropriate activity. We gave him "research assignments" to do on the bus. I remember one where he "studied" for a few days how many cars they passed of different colors. He had a notepad and kept tallies. I don't know if your child can read, but you could always use different colored crayons to indicate the different colors. Actually, a batch of the kindergarteners got into this project and would call out the different colors they saw. My son felt very important b/c he was the only "recorder of the data." This lasted a few days, and then they lost interest. We then came up with timing how long it took to get from one bus stop to the next (he had a digital watch). He made a chart with the different times and compared them. You get the idea. All these ideas helped until we ran out of "experiments" to do, and then he was back to his usual problems.

Hopefully the new dr. will be helpful to you, he'll be back on meds relatively soon, and these problems will be a distant memory!

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