welcome Vicky! You sound educated and on the right path. Like you've started your research already and have a good plan in place.
A few things to think about, you've got his whole life, so no rush getting the diagnosis. It would be "ideal" to get a diagnose and start a plan before school starts, but really, he is only 5. Just take things as they come. Start a behavior modification plan, check out ograms marble system. Read some parenting of ADHD kids books. Even if he doesn't have ADHD, that parenting style will help. Try to understand some kids are less mature and if he does have ADHD, these kids tend to be about 30% behind in maturity. Maybe t-ball can be on hold for a couple of years? My daughter did everything older than everyone else. Still does.
The other thing I have to say is it DOES get better as they get older. Some of his behaviors are behaviors typical kids outgrow and with kids with ADHD they will lessen. You're doing a great job, keep at it.......................
Welcome Vicky!! You sound like you are on the right path. I know how hard it is, especially in the beginning. I was also against medicine at first, I had a cousin that was on ritalin as a child and all of his hair fell out. But after 6 months of behavior therapy we decided that there really was no other option for US. Medicine is a personal decision, not the school's, your in-laws, or the doctors, but your families. You do what you feel is right for your child and your family.
Raising and ADHD child is very difficult at times and you will always have people who don't understand it, don't believe in it, and who will blame you but don't listen to them. You are a good parent and have done nothing wrong.
I have one suggestion to help with behavior. We tried all of the "suggested" reward/punishments and nothing seemed to help. So, we designed our own. When she didn't behave or follow the rules something she really liked got taken away. When she began following the rules she got those items back, one by one. It took until she had nothing left in her room but her bed and clothes but it worked. We still use it to this day.
You are going to always have challenges but you just have to stay strong and love him no matter what. Be his advocate and just support him the best you can. Sometimes it's hard but you sound like a great mom, you'll do fine.
Hi. My name is Vicky. I have two children-but my five year old son is in the processing of...being tested for ADHD. He is in counseling, has a casemanager that comes to the house and we see the psychiatrist for testing etc on the 12th of June. A few months ago, after a parent teacher conference (he is kindergarten bound in the fall) with his headstart teacher, we decided to seek therapy-He wasn't extreme, but very impulsive, very distractable, behind socially and never stops. He's a sweet kid, with a wonderful disposition...who has meltdowns when things aren't the way they are supposed to be..but also bounces back very quickly. The last few weeks I've gone from not wanting him medicated unless necessary to school-to needing him medicated because it feels like he's spiraling out of control sometimes. I am not big on medication-though I definitely understand the necessity for it-just that I've also seen it expected to fix it all..and I, personally believe, that it's not-that it needs to be combined with behavior modification, training, counseling etc. I'm willing to do what my son needs to succeed-and what we need to do to help him achieve his potential. We have good days and bad...but I'm rambling.
Part of our issues have come from tball-something he played last year fairly well. But this year, even though it's tball...the expectations the coaches have seem rather unrealistic for him-he does stand out from the other boys-doesn't pay attention, plays in the dirt, throws the dirt-it all sounds like a bunch of kid stuff--I almost took him off the field last week because they were being so short with him. I understand there are expectations and safety issues--I also don't think it's a choice he can make-I don't think he has any control over it. I feel lost because I don't know how to help. I"ve tried sticker charts for his behavior and nothing seems to work with him-when he's falling apart or losing his temper-reminding him that he will lose a sticker, gain a sticker, gain or lose this or that it doesn't do much for him. We do have a chore chart and that works ok-but ....
His therapist hasn't been much help. She plays one on one with him-many of his issues are social so that doens't help much-he doesn't remember what he did wrong or why a fight happened to discuss it with her. The casemanager seems clueless. His teachers, though frustrated, were positive and encouraging, wanted to help, love him and kept me informed. He is a sweet little man, bright as a whip about some things-yet I'm really concerned for kindergarten because of his issues. I'm hoping we will have him diagnosed (if there is something to diagnose) get a behaviour plan in place before school starts so we can start discussing IEP's. I don't know this school system well...we just moved here last August. My daughter, 11, will be going to the middle school and I just don't know which direction to turn anymore.
My husband is supportive and will back up whatever needs to be done-and he is my little guys favorite person in teh world. Jamie (my son) is a good sleeper, a good eater, is happy in general and a cuddler at times. He likes to be read to and loves to play outside. He also never shuts up, doesn't sit still, can't get from point A to point B without finding something more interesting, has no impulse control (jumped out at a lady in Goodwill and roared at her because he and daddy had been playing dinosaurs before we left) and he was still there in his mind I guess.
I either get comments about how sweet and how cute he is...or about how wild and on the go he is. My inlaws seem to understand yet they have no patience when he can't sit down, be quiet and not touch things. I just want to help him. Yet I also get frustrated with the meltdowns-and I just literally-mid sentence had to go help him calm down because someone outside wouldn't let him play-so he hit someone else-his frustration level is low and he just wants to be treated fairly. I feel like I'm making excuses but I'm trying to understand where he's at and what he's feeling. UGGH. If I could just get others to understand him as well-if they responded differently he'd handle things better-and yet is that fair.
Ok, apparently I didn't help him calm enough. We are out of control again.
Thanks for listening.