pets for 8 yr old son | ADHD Information

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Hi, we are thinking about getting a dog for our family.  We have an 8 yr old and 3 yr old daughter.  My son's meds are doing their job, we've been in our new house for 2 years, and would like to add a dog.

My son has had real trouble controlling his behavior around dogs when he was younger.  He would not be able to leave them alone even after repeated requests.  We have spent the past few years teaching the correct way to interact with dogs and he seems to get it.  I would prefer an older (year old or so) dog from a shelter.  My husband is firm on a puppy.  My son would benefit from the companionship and responsibility of a pet.  As he starts to put together the pieces about his adoptee status, my research states that in particular adopted kids can be helped emotionally from the connection with a pet. 

We elected to hold off until the 3 year old was toilet trained and she trained herself practically overnight.  I would be interested to hear if any other members have been down this path.  Also advice on what type or breed.

Thanks

 

 

I have three dogs............yup.....we're crazy........anyway, one we got older from a shelter she was about 2 and the other two we got as puppies. I STRONGLY discourage the puppy, unless you and/or your husband are going to supervise every second. Puppies are nippy and they jump and are rough. I think with even just having a 3 year old it was very difficult. If you DO decide that puppy is the answer I have a few suggestions, get it from a breeder (not a pet store). Go there and visit and see them and be SURE it is a mellow personality. My dogs are quite hyper and although they are a LOT of fun, they were handfuls as puppies. They all will nip and you dont want that. The more low key, the better. Although we prefer a small dog, they are usually not as calm. Go on the American Kennel Club website, they list every breed you ever thought of and will describe  them. Also crate train. We crate trained both our puppies and it was so worth it for the puppy and us. It gave the puppy some where safe to go if the kids got TOO MUCH for them and vice versa. Plus it is SO much easier to housebreak. Google crate training and read up. My older puppy is no longer ever in a crate, my younger one is 2 and we still crate him at night and if we're not home for a long time. His crate is open all day and both he and my oldest dog will just on their own go sleep in it off and on during the day. Good luck, they are joy to have, but a LOT of work, especially as puppies. With calm firm training and a lot of love they bring a lot of happiness to your family, but I cannot stress enough the firm trianing and crate training, puppies are fresh, like kids , they have to know who's boss!

I agree with Diane about the puppies but I'll add my 2cents.

Dogs are wonderful.  We have a collie.  My son is an only child and 14.  All his friends have dogs and he wanted one.  He talked us into it.  He had to have a big dog.  Long story short - my husband thought the dog would provide him companionship and help with responsibility.

Yes with the companionship - no for the responsibility - it's just my son who doesn't take responsibility but now with a dog.  The dog will not change your son - remember that. It may bring out good qualities and will definately teach him about responsibility, but all kids seem to want to play with the dogs, but when it comes to taking them out, the parents seem to get that job.

Make sure you want the dog because if you son doesn't take to it or even like it, you are stuck with it.

Here are some things to consider while you figure out what breed to get. Research the breed carefully.  The dog you may like may be the wrong fit for your family.

find a breed that has the tempermant that will fit in with your family.  You need a friendly, laid back breed.  You do not want a nervous breed - you need a breed that is good with kids.   

How much time can you devote to the dog?  If you are not home most of the day, you should consider dog day care or a dog walker.  My dog is crate trained, but you can't keep a dog in a crate 6 - 8 hours a time - it's for shorter durations and sleeping.

How much money do you have for dog toys, food, treats? Big dogs - more food.

Do you have a vet nearby?  Vet bills are not as costly as people but there is monthly medicine - heart worm med and flea and tick med.  These must be given monthly. Plus, you have to give them rabies shots and a couple of other shots and then their are the booster shots. Plus, there will be occassional emergency visits to the vet.  If you are not going to breed the dog, you should get is spayed or neutered.

What about training?  Are you going to train the dog yourself or go to classes?  I took my dog to petsmart training - very affordable, but if you are first time dog owners, you will probably need to take the dog to at least one formal class.

Dogs need to go out daily, regardless of the weather.  Think about where you live.  I live in N.E. - the collie loves the winter - I don't.  I still had to walk him daily in the cold, snow and rain.   Now that it's warmer, he's a bit sensitive to the heat - got to keep the airconditioning a little cooler for him.

If you live in a more mild climate, snow is probably not an issue.

Do you want a watch dog or just a pet? 

Lots of things to consider. 

Do you travel?  You'll need to find a place to board the dog or someone to dog watch for you. 

When you find a breed you think you want, find a  reputable breeder.  I can't stress this enough.  You want to know what you are getting. 

Rescue dogs are good but they all come from some kind of traumatic background and you already have a child with special needs, you don't need a dog with special needs to make things harder.

You can always go to the pound but you will be getting a mutt - mutts are great but you have to find out what the mix is so you will be able to get an idea of what the temperment will be. I wouldn't want a pitbull/doberman mix (no offense to people who own those dogs - I'm talking about temperment.)

Do you have lots of money to groom your dog?  I found out the hard way a long haired dog is more costly than a short haired one.

Poodles are wonderful family dogs - smart and they don't shed since they have hair, not fur.  Miniature poodles are a good size, the standard poodle is rather large.  They are recommended for families.

I can't say enough about collies - perfect temperment but BIG.  My son, although he is 14, has this habit of patting the dog when he is sleeping.  The dog doesn't care.  My dog even will let you take food out of his mouth - he's that mellow.  If you look up collie, you will see they are the perfect temperment but they are big, hairy and need lots of attention and exercise. I got a collie because they are smart and train easy.  They train in 2 weeks and mine did.  They are gentle and love people. But, they are a very high energy dog - I mean high energy - they love company but require lots of maintance. I love my dog and don't regret it. 

My dog has brought out a gentle side to my son and yes, he is learning about responsibility.  He has to take care of the dog when we go out and he has to take him out, even though he has to be "gently reminded" to do it.

The dog is his best friend and has made the past year easier.  The mornings have become not as explosive because the dog just runs into his room and greets hims and how can you be angry when a collie is just wagging his tail and begging you to play?  The dog has taken some of the constant focus off my son too - we all have a diversion and we are not constantly worrying 24/7 about my son. 

Dogs are lots of work and an added expense, but if you are willing to put in the time, love and money, they are so worth it.

 

 

I agree with the larger versus smaller dog too. And the previous posters all gave great advice. We have 2 large dogs, and they are great with kids, and DD is great with them.

I personally would recommend a Laborador, they are mild mannered, active,and love kids. A lab will retrieve a ball all day, as long as your kid will throw it.

A mixed breed is also a good choice, as long as it is mild mannered breeds, I wouldn't get a known aggressive mix, for example, not a Pit bull/rottweiler mix.

We have a lab/bloodhound mix, and he is a wonderful dog, easy going, willing to play and loyal almost to a fault ( he will NOT leave DD's side if she is outside).

Glad inspired by music mentioned that larger dogs are probably a better choice.  Small dogs are cute but tend to be yappy and high strung - always have to proove something.  On the other hand - the King Charles Spaniel is a small lap dog and just bred for loving. 

So, what breeds have you been looking at?  Another resource is to call a vet and ask them what they would recommend.  You could also go to a major pet chain - petsmart, petco and chat with the trainers - they know about temperment and love to talk about dogs.

Also, if you see someone walking a dog that looks friendly, stop and talk to them.  People love to talk about their dogs

Poodles are great dogs - we were considering one but my son didn't want a poodle and truthfully, I always loved collies and so did my husband.

It's sad but true about rescue dogs - my friend got a rescue Lab and the dog ended up having health issues that were not told to her.  

Puppies are lots of work but adorable.  We had no idea how much work having a puppy would be.  It's like a baby that doesn't grow up.  But, it is rewarding and you bond with the dog and you can train it the way you want to.

Our current dog is a labradoodle.   She is the BEST dog.  She is kind and mild manned and very smart.  She is so easy going and tolerates my youngest (11 w/ ADHD) when she gets a little too wild.    She about 50 pounds, which is small compared to our previous 95 pound german shepherd - who was also a fabulous dog.

Labs or lab crosses are a great way to go.   Puppies are cute but a TON of work but then do you get the lay the ground work of solid training and you know everything about the background of your dog.   My girls were very involved when we went through puppy classes with our dog.  They loved it.

Good luck with your search.


I think Diane and Bebop have given excellent advice.

My family started out by adopting two older poodles (toy size) from a Poodle rescue organization. My kids were 7 and 11 at the time, and my younger child, with ADHD, has inattentive type, so is not hyperactive or impulsive. These dogs worked out great for our family, but smaller dogs do tend to be more nervous around children, plus ours had been owned by an elderly couple. One does not like small children. I think a larger dog, generally, would be better for younger kids and kids with hyperactivity/impulsiveness. Poodles are wonderful dogs, and a larger one might be a good choice, but the grooming is expensive! Also, like Bebop mentioned, many rescue dogs do have "special needs," and one of our pair had a number of health issues which were NOT spelled out to us in advance. The vet bills were expensive and it was hard to make decisions about his healthcare. We now have pet health insurance which I like very much! Unfortunately, our little guy passed away after we'd had him just over a year.

We then, somewhat impulsively, got a puppy (poodle-bichon mix). We wanted to adopt again, but we got impatient waiting for a poodle or poodle-mix to become available. Puppies are a ton of work! I would definitely recommend an adult dog for your situation!! You don't need the added stress of trying to raise a puppy. When we got ours home, I immediately thought, "What in the world was I thinking?!" It is like potty-training a toddler plus other issues.

Plus, we did just about everything wrong. We answered a classified ad, which I thought was a private home, but it turned out to be a cheap little puppy store, and I'm now 99% sure that our puppy came from a puppy mill. He's turned out OK, we love him and he is a devoted companion, but he does have some health issues (prone to ear infections and allergies) and is high-strung and anxious, probably due to not being handled at all in the first 10 weeks of life. So I agree with Diane, IF you do decide to get a puppy, go to a reputable breeder. You pay more, but it saves in the long run in many, many ways. Sometimes breeders also have young adult dogs available; dogs that may have turned out not to be show quality or breeding quality, but can be great pets.

Whatever you do, I would advise shopping for the dog without your kids so that you are better able to make a rational decision. If you go through a rescue organization, make sure that they clearly understand what your family and home are like and what type of dog you need and ask lots of questions, including questions about the dog's health.

If you find the right dog, though, your whole family will have wonderful "pet therapy" available 24/7!

Good luck!


edbson - my friend's lab just walks around all day with a toy in its mouth.

My collie, on the other hand, will not retrieve - we throw the toy, he gets the toy and challenges us to chase him.

 

I work in the Pet Industry and I am in total agreement with a large dog.  It is very important to look at the breed that works for your family.  If you are looking for a dog that has a great deal of tolerance for children I would recommend you do some time researching